Doing My Job

Translated by Aaron Yoseph
 
 
Rebbe Nachman wants to give us a present, a present that brings us to eternal bliss. It’s the truth of this world. It’s a principle that says that our focus shouldn’t be on ourselves, but rather on Hashem’s honor. Our desire to serve Hashem should be based on a sense of being an agent, an agent whose task is to honor Hashem. “Wherever the King sends me, I go.” How do we know what our particular mission is? Very simple. We look at what lies before us. Every one has their own situation.
 
It’s possible for a person to have many strengths – he may be very learned, have a very sharp mind, he may be a genius, but, when it comes to living practically in the world – he may have no common sense at all. And then you can have someone who really doesn’t have much intelligence, he really doesn’t know much, yet, practically, he knows what to do. He listens to his Rebbe. “The Rebbe said so, that’s it!” That’s common sense.
 
This is the most important thing – practical halacha, the common sense to know what to do next. It’s the conclusion, the bottom line of everything we know. The bottom line of everything we know is that “Hashem needs me right now, in this moment. I have an important job to do – otherwise, I wouldn’t be in this world.” This is a reason to sing, dance, and not think of anything else. This knowledge contains within it great power. Whatever I go through – financially, at home with my children – it all shrinks into insignificance – I have nothing to do with it. The King has given me a mission, and He will sort everything out for me, I don’t have any problems. The King has appointed me right now, to honor Him. His sovereignty and all His glory depends entirely on me, in this moment. What the King wants from me is very simple, it’s a small thing – it’s for me to be with Him, wherever I am. This is all Hashem wants.
 
When someone wants to come close to Hashem, he has to know something. This is the most important thing when it comes to keeping the Torah. It’s to know that, no matter where you find yourself, whether it’s in the lowliest pit, or even lower – the very lowest thing is depression and despair. Despair is the end of the road, it’s nothingness. When a person despairs, his mind races, he sees negativity everywhere, everything he touches falls apart, he falls over, nothing works out – it’s a terrible state to be in. Despair overtakes a person, to the point that he feels like there’s nothing he can do now to honor Hashem.
 
Despair isn’t just when a person jumps off a tall building and says “Goodbye” to the world. Despair is about this present moment, and despairing of achieving anything worthwhile with it. We have to constantly strengthen ourselves to serve Hashem. The greatest delight Above is caused by our efforts to pick ourselves up and strengthen ourselves down here. A person thinks about how things used to be – he used to learn, he used to pray, but now… In most cases, he is still learning and praying, but he dismisses his efforts as worthless. He’s full of disappointment and illusions. He though that he would be a great tzaddik by now. But how long can you stay disappointed?
 
A person doesn’t understand that this is precisely what he came to this world for – for this unique task of strengthening himself to serve Hashem where he is. This is what Hashem wants from us – to find Him in our lives, in whatever we’re going through. Remember Hashem where you are. Dig down deep into the concrete – perhaps you’ll merit remembering Him. Keep on trying. You may be all confused, you may feel very distant from Hashem and be convinced that there’s no way in the world that Hashem is getting any gratification from you right now. These are heretical thoughts, and together with them come thoughts of giving up and pursuing the vanities of this world…
 
The truth is that it’s all one big mistake. The Baal Shem Tov taught us that just the opposite is true – extraneous thoughts are a gift, for someone who knows how to elevate and correct them. When someone isn’t interested in coming close to Hashem, his prayers go very smoothly. It’s anyway not accepted! So says the Baal Shem Tov. Since he isn’t really trying to keep the Torah, they leave him alone.
 
But when there is someone who does have the power to fix things, Hashem sends him something that’s been waiting thousands of years to be elevated and corrected. What does He send him? Whatever it is in life that he’s going through. But to the person on the receiving end, it seems like a fall, and as if he’s got further away. These matters are wider than the sea – there are an infinite number of details. A person is always tested in a way that succeeds in breaking him. One thought takes hold of him, he gets all entangled in it, and then it becomes his whole reality – despair. It’s only when he grasps that this is something that needs elevating and correcting that he tries to get out of it. Then, when he tries to get out of it, and sees that he can’t succeed, eventually he grasps that the only way to get out of it is to get out of himself. “I have no business worrying about what I’m going through, what I am, who I am, how I look – my only business is with Hashem, and with doing what He wants.” And this is precisely what Hashem wants from him. The more difficult it is, the more it’s worth. As soon as you realize this, there’s no more worry. Once we throw everything in Hashem’s lap, He takes care of it.