Sam and Esty

The new Rabbi was in a panic. He had just moved into the community. It was his first job out of yeshiva. As he whispered into the phone I could hear that he was obviously more than a little miffed that he was facing a scandal like this one in his first month on the job.
 
There was a young couple in his congregation –  a striking couple – thirty-something with four young kids. Like everyone in that neighborhood, they seemed to be living the “good” life. Sam had a big job in his father’s business and played golf on Sundays. Esty was a devoted wife and mother. The Cohen’s had “escaped” from the crammed city life they grew up in and “made it” to an upscale religious neighborhood.
 
When they first saw the neighborhood, they were immediately drawn to the large idyllic-looking estates. Their own spacious new house and large tract of land was surely a dream come true.  Outwardly, Sam and Esty were the “perfect” match right down to their “his” and “her” BMW’s that cuddled side by side in their long driveway. Outwardly, Sam and Esty Cohen were living their dream, inwardly they were as lost as two people could be and were losing more of themselves with every passing day.
 
It started when Sam met Jay. They hit it off immediately although Jay was far more sophisticated than Sam was. Jay had a reputation amongst the Rabbis in town, they knew he was a danger, but they weren’t sure what to do about him. Jay soon became Sam’s closest friend. Time and again, Jay proved his loyalty to Sam and always stuck by his side. Sam felt that Jay was always calm and relaxed and seemed to understand him without his having to say a word. On a number of occasions, Jay helped Sam out of tough situations that he got himself into and seemed to be the only one who could distract Sam from his pain. If you were Sam, you would have found it impossible to imagine what a backstabber Jay was and how he planned to wheedle his way into Sam’s life and ultimately into his marriage. Jay was starting to show up at Sam’s house on a regular basis and Esty was also charmed by Jay’s cool and confident facade. The time had finally come for Jay to destroy the Cohen’s marriage as he had done to many marriages before.
 
It started when Jay introduced Sam and Esty to marijuana and other “soft” drugs. Eventually one day Jay brought over some crack cocaine. Sam and Esty tried smoking some and immediately experienced an intense euphoria and “supreme confidence” that took over their lives. They were instantly addicted and craved more and more cocaine which Jay was glad to provide. Their lives began to deteriorate. They lost weight, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t care for their kids, couldn’t work or do anything! Once Jay had stripped them of all of their inhibitions he moved in for the “kill.” Jay seduced Sam and his wife into submitting to the most degrading physical acts with him and with other couples who he trapped in a similar way. Esty was even pregnant at the time.
 
When word hit the street. Jay disappeared in his characteristic fashion and the Cohen’s sobered up fast. Suddenly they were “hit” with the reality that their lives were in shambles and they were not in a place where they were going to get any sympathy or support – they were shunned by their Rabbi and their community.
 
What could they do except to leave? They took whatever little they had and ran as far away from that place as they could.
 
What was G-d doing? Where was the “Divine benevolence” here? What was the good that lay behind all that had happened to the Cohen’s?
 
It took five more years, but I finally did get answers to those questions.
 
I was in Uman in the Ukraine, at the grave site of the holy miracle worker Rabbi Nachman of Breslev and it was Rosh Hashanah. It was there and then that I saw Sam Cohen again with a big smile on his face surrounded by his friends. I barely recognized him. He looked very healthy and robust. He saw me and we embraced for a long time. He told me how welcomed he and his wife had been into their new community and how he had become friends with guys who came to Uman for Rosh Hashanah every year to pray with Rabbi Nachman. This was already Sam’s third year in Uman and his life was going incredible well.
 
An amazing transformation had taken place in Sam’s life. He started a new career and was able to purchase a small house. Esty was also feeling very happy and fulfilled. She was learning Torah and had found a group of women she could relate to. Although they both missed their families on the other side of the country, they had made some true-blue friends who helped to fulfill their need for family. The Cohen’s had also become close to a Breslever Rabbi who helped them to put together the broken pieces of their lives and to return to Hashem. It was a far cry from the “picture perfect” life they once knew, but they had never been happier before.
 
Sam and Esty still drop me a line now and then.  One of their requests of me was to write about their story so that others could learn from what happened to them. May it be so.
 
The names and other details of this true story have been altered in order to safeguard the privacy of those involved