Editors note: "Ricki" from New England has been corresponding with us for over two years now. She's a very talented Baalat Teshuva, attractive, smart as a whip, and her potato kugel is just as mean as her tennis backhand. She could easily be Miss Jewish America, but she's no longer a Miss since her wedding three years ago. She has one other problem - her heart is deeply scarred from a nightmare childhood with an abusive father. We can't even write 10% of what Ricki went through with her father.