The Happy Ending

A friend of mine back in the States recently got married. It’s her second marriage, as the first ended in total disaster. I wanted to share her story because it’s a perfect example of what Rav Arush and Rav Brody make every effort to help us internalize: everything Hashem does is for our ultimate benefit. Here’s her story…

Like many young singles, my friend was on the market for a husband in her late 20’s. She already had a successful career in marketing, and she was ready to take the next step in her life. One day, while working out at her local gym, she caught the attention of a young man who also happened to be ready to take the next step in his life. Already an accomplished engineer with a company of his own, he was ready to find his other half.

Picking just the right time to approach her for a conversation as she was sweating and out of breath while working on the Stairmaster, they hit it off. She immediately impressed him with her terse, uh-huh’s and half-smiles, as she tried not to lose her balance from turning sideways to look at him instead of looking straight ahead. After her workout, she agreed to go out with him that weekend.

Things got serious pretty quickly after that, and within 2 years they were married. After many years of unsuccessful attempts to have children, they were finally blessed with their first child- a girl, who was the spitting image of her mother. Soon after, they had two boys, one of them looking exactly like the father.

Things were perfect- at least on the surface. They moved into a large, beautiful home in the hottest part of town, and the wife had the freedom to design it as she wished. She had stopped working when she had kids, but her husband’s job gave them the financial security that they needed, and then some. Their kids all attended private school, they went out for dinner on the weekends, and they had a summer home on the lake, complete with a boat.

My friend was living her dream life- until one night that changed everything…

One night, after the kids were asleep, she went to her husband’s wallet to get some cash, as she had run out. (Don’t all wives do that?) Well, she found the cash. And she also found a receipt for a fancy hotel in the city dated just three days prior. Her shock overcame her. She didn’t even have time to process the feelings that were bombarding her all at once; the rage, the betrayal, the sadness, the complete disbelief that this was really happening.

Immediately, she rushed downstairs to her husband’s home office in their basement, and began attacking him with fists, screams, and tears. That night she kicked him out.

It’s amazing that in just one moment, her life went from a fairy-tale to a nightmare that she couldn’t wake up from.

After the hysteria died down somewhat, a few months later they were in marital counseling. She decided that for the sake of her children she would give him another chance, especially since he seemed genuinely remorseful. Things appeared to be on the delicate road to recovery, until during one of their sessions, under the advice of the therapist, he admitted that he had cheated more than once.

In fact, he had cheated repeatedly for a long time- a very long time. Sixteen years, to be exact. Wait- that would mean that he had been cheating on her since before they were married!

Divorce was long and messy.

During those difficult years, she went through severe tests of emuna.  She just couldn’t understand how things were happening for her ultimate best. How could Hashem love her so much if He was putting her through such hell? How was she supposed to be happy when her life seemed to be nothing but a never-ending string of lies?

Over the next two years, she tried desperately to put herself back together, while at the same time trying to keep things as normal as possible for her children, whose very foundation of life was ripped away from them. It was the hardest and saddest time of her life.

Eventually, at the encouragement of family and friends, she decided to start dating again. She was young and beautiful, and there was no reason to let her ex-lowlife of a husband ruin the rest of her life as well.

After many ridiculously awkward and boring first dates, she met Steve. He was good-looking, sweet, and had 3 kids of his own from a previous marriage. Over the next several months, she tried everything she could not to fall in love with him. He was just too good to be true. He loved her kids and took care of them whenever she needed, even when she didn’t need it. He cherished her and made every effort to show that he was for real.

After two years of dating, she couldn’t keep her guard up anymore. She finally agreed to his repeated proposals, and they married just a few days ago in a beautiful sunset ceremony in their backyard.

It was a real fairy-tale ending- or beginning.

To me, this story clearly shows how Hashem had my friend’s ultimate welfare in mind. If He hadn’t gone to such extremes, she would never have met the man that she would ultimately be the happiest with. She would have continued being married to a man who would have continued to betray her and her children for quite possibly the rest of their lives.

Many times we can’t see the big picture of what is happening to us. We are so deep in the dark tunnel of despair that we forget that there awaits a happy ending for us, if we could just have emuna that things will work out.

If you’re currently in a dark tunnel of your own, stay strong in your emuna. Work on it every day, as much as you can. Talk to Hashem about your suffering. This will strengthen your faith and give you the will to keep moving forward. May Hashem speedily bless you with the personal salvation you need, Amen.