Walking and Talking

Speaking with Hashem encourages us to know ourselves. It helps us see that we are each individuals with our own unique gifts, talents and abilities and attributes...

5 min

Yehudit Bell

Posted on 09.11.23

I have such a special gift to share with all of my readers and friends whom I love and care about so very much (yes, YOU!).   This is a priceless gift given to me from my spiritual guide, Rav Brody, passed to him from Holy Rav Arush, and to Rav Arush from Rebbe Nachman himself!  It is the finest treasure.  To own it will make you the richest person on earth.  Without it, you are absolutely destitute!  You could spend millions of dollars on top therapists, and they could not give you the menucha hanefesh, the peace of mind, that you will get from my gift! 

Can you stop for just a moment, and imagine yourself, as you would LIKE to be?  Really pause, right now, and visualize the ultimate you (I don’t mean your ultimate figure, just the inside!).  As Rav Arush explained recently, we each have a responsibility to bring our own personal redemption, and then, soon after, the collective redemption will follow, like a domino effect.  You can’t have your own personal redemption if you do not know who you are, and where you need to go.  This can only be discovered through a personal relationship with Hashem!  Speaking with Hashem encourages us to know ourselves.  It helps us see that we are each individuals with our own unique gifts, talents and abilities and attributes, like our thumbprint, the artist’s signature.  How can we make our unique contribution in this world if we do not know ourselves?  We can only attain this completeness, in knowing ourselves, discover this personal attribute that no one else has, through hitbodedut (personal prayer).  Hashem illuminates our souls, showing us our own special abilities.  You have no choice.  You owe it to yourself, your family, and all of Am Yisrael!  So in order to know what your ultimate self would look like, you have to spend time with the One who created you.  He will help you find yourself.

What is most important to you?  That is the real question.  For me, it is to be the best me.  I can’t do it alone, I need Hashem to strengthen my desire to come closer to Him.  I can only ask.  He is in charge of the results.  It actually takes a lot of pressure off of me to put the ball in Hashem’s court. That is what hitbodedut does for me. It takes the pressure off.  I have to let Hashem run the world.  He is far more qualified than me.   He does not expect me to be perfect, He only expects me to do my best.  Even when I fall, it is Him who is letting me fall.  When I succeed, it is also Hashem.  I am responsible only for my desires.  What do you desire most (Please listen to the CD, Most of all Desire for clarity on this concept)? The first step begins with your hitbodedut.  Know yourself. Desire closeness with Hashem.  Let Him do the rest. All you need is a good pair of sneakers and a water bottle.  Are you ready?  Let’s go!

Map out a walking route in your neighborhood, or maybe you want to drive to a nice state park not too far from home. We are going to use the 20/20/20 plan.  This includes 20 minutes of gratitude, 20 minutes of cheshbon hanefesh (self-evaluation-going through each detail of your day with a fine-toothed comb), and 20 minutes focusing on a middah (character trait) that we want to improve. Let’s just focus on this first section of our hitbodedut for today.

Lets begin by asking Hashem, in our own words, in our native tongue, to connect us to all of the true Tzaddikim of our generation, and all of the true Tzaddikim who have departed, the Holy Ones, interred in the earth (a Neshamah is far more powerful and able to assist you without a body to get in the way) and especially our Holy Rebbe, Tzaddik, foundation of the world, flowing brook, source of wisdom, Rabbi Nachman ben Faige, may his merit protect us, who instructed us to do this hour of hitbodedut (personal prayer). I hereby connect myself to loving my neighbor as myself. 

We are going to “walk and talk”, because we want to stay healthy and fit physically as well as spiritually.  Let’s spend the first 20 minutes going carefully through our lives, and thanking Hashem (watch your step!).  There is only Hashem, and He is only good, so everything is good!  Express to Hashem how very happy you are for this new day, and this chance to come close to Him.  Thank him for being a Jew, or for being a Noahide. Thank Him for your spouse, and for each quality that he has that brings you joy.  Thank Him for your husband even if you are divorced- perhaps your children were the one good thing you shared.  Thank Him for each child, even if they are “off the derech” or disrespectful.  Focus on the unique blessings that they bring into your family.  Talk about the gifts that He gave you- your strengths, the way you bake, your math skills, your patience, or the chessed-oriented personality you have.

Thank Him for your five senses (smell, taste, touch, hearing, and sight) even if they don’t work perfectly.  Thank Hashem for each of your organ systems- you have 11!!!  They include your nervous system, your respiratory system, your digestive system, your cardiovascular system, your urinary system, your immune system, your endocrine system, your reproductive system, your skeletal, muscular, and integument systems (that include your skin!).  Even if all of your systems are not working perfectly all of the time, for most of us, most of them work most of the time. Let’s thank Hashem for our spiritual path that He gave us, that you are spiritually aware enough to be on this website, and going on this “walk and talk” journey.  Thank Him for your parents, even if they were not always perfect, even if they were never perfect- they still brought you into the world!  Thank Hashem for taking the time to be with you!Maybe you want to focus your gratitude on the little things, like how Hashem helped you to finish all the laundry, or the parking space He gave you, or the sale on presifted flour.  Expressing gratitude opens all the gates of prayer.

Ahhh…it feels so good to see all the gifts in your life, doesn’t it?  You really are very blessed!  I want to end this session with a story that happened recently in our home.  As a new GOLD member at Breslev Israel, I received our entire Rav Arush/Rav Brody library.  One of the books was for children, and I was concerned that my boys, 11 and 13, were too old for it- “Little Nachman”. It is about Rabbi Nachman as a child.  We read part of it Tuesday night before bed (a crucial time to talk to your children about Hashem). The next morning, my 13 year old son  asked Hashem for a certain pair of socks that he could not find.  Suddenly- there they were!  My son exclaimed, “I can’t believe it- just like Little Nachman in the story!!”  Hashem is so kind, that even a pair of socks warranted His attention. We finished reading “Little Nachman” after our Shabbat meal.  My 13 yr. old pretended not to pay too much attention. Before bed, he asked me if I would help him do some hitbodedut, as he had some serious things to discuss with Hashem, and was embarrassed to talk to Hashem alone.  We held hands, and each closed our eyes (I agreed not to look at him or talk). When I peeked at my holy little Tzaddik, who was whispering, and calling out “Hashem….” in such a heartfelt way, I was moved to tears. What a gift Hashem revealed. I saw what real success as a parent means. That my little tzaddik could open his heart, even though he was not feeling good about himself, and turn to his Abba (Father in Heaven) was monumental. This could not have happened had I not worked and worked on my own relationship to Hashem.  I only had what to give my son because of my own experiences with personal prayer. What greater gift could I give my children than a personal connection to the One who created them, the One who runs the world?! This also illustrates that there is no despair in the world. Hashem is so loving, and so forgiving.  We have seen real changes in our son since this happened, and we are very grateful for this gift from Rabbi Nachman.

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