Back in the Saddle

“Teach me, O G-d, Your ways, so that I can walk in Your truth. Unify my heart to fear Your Name”. (Psalms 86:11)

All that most of us are really looking for is happiness and contentment. We search and explore different avenues of life as we are compelled to delve deeply into the unknown in order to uncover the key to our own personal liberation. People literally fly to the ends of the earth in pursuit of their dreams but in most cases are left empty handed. While not everyone comes to the same conclusions, if we are honest with ourselves we will understand that there is only one means to this end; the acceptance that we are in this world to do G-d’s will and not only to have a good time.  Also, once we internalize that Hashem is really in control, all of our difficulties will seem far less troubling. (If you haven’t yet read the Garden of Emuna, I suggest you start there).

As we begin our spiritual journey we often have many questions and doubts. When one is resolved another is already in the forefront anxiously waiting to be answered. Step by step, we attain more and more knowledge which is sorely needed to fill our hearts with calmness and joy. Once we open the barn door, so to speak, our soul urges us to strive to acquire more and more wisdom. Whether we are learning through books that we read or by classes that we attend, we inherently desire that next ‘fix’ of truth.

“When a person is content to want only what God wants, this makes God the King. But when a person desires something other than what God desires, this gives strength to unholy forces. A person must nullify his own will to the point where he has no will and desire for anything except what God desires.” Likutey Moharan I, 177

The only true way to have inner peace is to submit to G-d’s will and strive to be at one with Him. Achieving that goal is not an easy task. In The Way of G-d, the Ramchal states that ‘Life is nothing but a series of challenges of varying types and degrees, which a person must overcome, and which tests his loyalty and devotion to Hashem’.’ 1

We are just human after all.  Even with all the best intentions, we may find that we have suddenly fallen off the metaphorical horse of spirituality. Try as we may, life often gets in the way until we have no desire to even get back on that horse again. It’s a constant struggle which we repeatedly lose, allowing our yetzer hara, evil inclination, to take control of the reins and lead us down the wrong path.

As the expression goes, when you fall off the horse, you have to get right back on. When we fall spiritually, we should use it as impetus to grow, to get ‘back in the saddle’ and continue the ride. As daunting as it may seem, we must gather all our energy and take a giant leap to mount that saddle once again. This is indeed a difficult undertaking requiring much devoted effort and help from Above but we will find that each successive ride will leave us more and more exhilarated. With reins once again clutched firmly in our own hands, the horse’s trot will soon become a steady cantor.

On a larger level, we, as a nation, also get carried away and forget to appreciate the Creator.  We are so preoccupied with politics, technology, finances and bashing those unlike us, the whole purpose of our existence is shoved aside. Yet when something terrible happens, G-d forbid, we all unite and attempt to do better. We take on more mitzvot (good deeds, commandments), give more tzedakka (charity) and spend more time praying.  Our differences suddenly vanish and the unity we feel between our people is fantastic. This momentum moves us closer to what Hashem envisioned for us. Thus, our task is to generate that same harmony without the need for devastation and turmoil.

May it be Hashem’s will that we all merit galloping off into the sunset, following our Divinely appointed leader, Mashiach, as he guides us to our final Redemption and our newly rebuilt Beit Hamikdash, speedily in the coming days, Amen.

* * *

1)  Lights Along the Way, page 52, Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, Artscroll