Precious Tears

As a parent, I have a big weakness- and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone. When my kids cry, it affects me deep in my heart. Of course, sometimes I’m immune to it, like when I’ve told my two older boys for the 800th time to stop fighting. When they end up crying in that situation, I give them the infamous, “But I told you to stop fighting!!” What can I do? I’m only human. But, if they come to me hurt or upset about something or (Heaven forbid) actually apologetic about something, I have a completely different yet predictable reaction: “Oh, it’s okay, baby. Tell Imma what happened.” Okay, I admit that this scenario almost never happens, but it’s nice to pretend…

There are few things more precious and pure than the tears of a child. No one likes to see a child cry, and that is why many of us rush to fix whatever the problem is, just so they will stop crying. I’m not a big advocate of this “quick fix”, but sometimes I just can’t help myself! (Like I said, I’m only human!)

As adults, most of us cry far less than children- unless you’re a sleep-deprived, stressed-to-the-max mom of three wild monkey-boys! At some point in our lives, we are taught that we should keep our feelings inside. We become “adulterated” by life, and many of us are at the point where we can’t communicate our deep feelings, even to our spouses or closest friends. It’s hard to tell someone that they’ve hurt you, or even that you love them. For a number of reasons, as adults we feel it is inappropriate on some level to express ourselves so freely.

Rebbe Nachman reminds us that we are still indeed children. All of us share one Father in Heaven- and He’s waiting for us with open arms. What is the benefit of knowing this? With our stressful lives, we need an outlet. We need a place and time to ourselves to release our frustrations, express our fears and anxieties, and communicate our deepest thoughts. I’m not referring to sitting on a psychiatrist’s couch; I’m referring to personal prayer. God is always ready and waiting for us to call out to Him. If we don’t turn to God with our problems and our needs, what happens? We find ourselves in a never-ending cycle of problem/crisis management/bigger problem. It seems like we can’t get it together fast enough before we’re slammed with another, larger issue. Or, maybe we get bombarded with several catastrophes at once- for example: health issue, losing a job, marital breakdown.

How can an ordinary human withstand such tribulations and maintain his sanity? Xanax is not the answer! Nor are recreational drugs or alcohol, which most of the time are abused because we just don’t know how to cope. The only thing that will help us get through these tough times is personal prayer. I can’t go a day without speaking with God. I need that feeling of support and knowing that I have Someone to turn to, Someone who will drop everything and listen to me whenever I need. Even my husband can’t do that! Personal prayer is the secret to the elusive serenity that many of us spend our time and money looking for. We might find it in small doses through yoga, meditation, and exercise- these are a great way to de-stress and stay healthy. But they do not help strengthen our emuna. They do not make us stronger people who are able to deal with life’s challenges with a smile. Only personal prayer does that.

I read something very interesting on www.dani18.com a few days ago. The message is exactly along the lines of Rav Arush’s message, and I’m sharing it to help you recognize the deep significance of personal prayer. Binyamin Golden, one of the autistics who have channeled tremendous wisdom from the Upper Worlds, says, “The tears of a Jew who is weeping with a broken heart and truly wants to repent over all his sins, the tears of a Jew who understands that we have all run away from the home of our Father and he wants now to return home, the tears of a Jew who wants so much for his Father in Heaven to welcome him back home again, such tears will save any Jew who sheds them.”

We must realize several things when contemplating this statement. First, these are not tears of crying and complaining, as Rabbi Brody says. These are tears of a broken heart. What’s the difference? Continuing with the example of children: if a child cries to us, complaining that he doesn’t have enough toys, how are we going to react? Speaking for myself only, I would (and have) lock up that toy room so quickly that my kid will know what it’s like not to have toys! On the other hand, if our kids come to us crying about something that is weighing heavily on their hearts, looking for our help and guidance, how will we respond? We drop everything we’re doing to listen to our children, and try our best to be a source of comfort and guidance to help our children overcome this rough spot. This is exactly how God is with us! Where do we get our good tendencies, if not from God Himself? So during our personal prayer sessions, it is recommended that we act like a child looking for guidance and support from his Father.

Second, tears are the most powerful weapon we have against any and all tribulations.  As Binyamin continues: “A nuclear bomb, atomic, or any other filthy bomb…will not be able to stand up against even one tear of a Jew with a broken heart who wants to do teshuva.” Wow! That is a very strong statement! Rabbi Brody reminds us time and again that our enemies are just sticks in Hashem’s hand. They have no life or power of their own, and Hashem can make them disappear instantly- all we have to do is talk to Him!

The secret to the good life is to always remember that all of our tribulations are for our benefit. In Rav Arush’s “The Garden of Gratitude”, he reminds us that through our tears and our thanks, we can overcome any challenge sent our way. Our tears are even more precious to our Father than we can imagine. When you feel life is just too much to handle, let it out through your tears, and you will feel and see relief before you know it!