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Believing she found the man of her dreams, a young graduate student in a prestigious American university sends her new boyfriend “selfies,” explicit photos she took of herself. A year later, she breaks up with her boyfriend. And soon after, for revenge, he posts the photos on various internet sites.

This scenario has become so prevalent that New York lawmakers are now proposing legislation to make this vengeful non-consensual posting punishable by a year in prison and a $30,000 fine.

But what’s most alarming is the phenomenon of willingly sending self-taken explicit photos.

It’s become a common thing. Even an accepted thing. Obviously, those who willingly share extremely personal photos of themselves expect the photos to remain private. But in the digital world, privacy isn’t a reality. Once a photo or an email or a text is released to just one person, or something is posted on a private Facebook page, it’s always possible it could reach millions.

And along with those who somehow think it’s a good idea to create and send “selfies,” countless individuals have learned this the hard way.

With very serious consequences.

There’s the married U.S. congressman, for example, who emailed a shirtless photo of himself to a woman he met on Craigslist. She sent the email to a gossip website, who went public with it. Almost immediately, he resigned from the House of Representatives.

And even more recently, there’s the 18-year old Massachusetts high school student, an aspiring rapper, who posted on Facebook his provocative lyrics about committing a terrorist act. He was arrested and jailed without bail.

These are just two of the many poster children of today’s era of little restraint.

Apparently, ours is an age where it’s okay to reveal photos and thoughts, no matter how reckless or seemingly innocent, while disregarding any future consequences. And more often than not, these private acts become incredibly public, thanks to technology.

The result? The ruin of countless relationships, careers and lives.

I first came across this modern phenomenon when I started creating business Facebook pages for the company I work for. One of our employee’s private Facebook page, meant for only her friends, mistakenly popped up. The photo she chose to best represent herself showed her scantily clad at a bar with several glasses of liquor in front of her. She listed “drinking” as one of her favorite pastimes. Hardly the stuff of an ideal employee, she could have easily tarnished her image to her employer and single-handedly jeopardized a potential promotion without even knowing it.

Then there’s the co-worker who posted on his Facebook page the exact dates of his upcoming Caribbean cruise. A friend of mine told this co-worker he should remove the bolts from his front door. “Why?” the co-worker asked. “To make it easier for the burglars who now know your vacation plans to enter your home,” my friend answered. The co-worker then rescheduled his cruise.

Most of the time, though, impulsivity is to blame. If more of us would take just a moment to think before we typed or posted or emailed or texted, we would see fewer people being exploited or living through a public relations nightmare. Some have even had to change their names after their once-private emails became painfully public.

To paraphrase one of my rabbis: Not everything we think should be spoken; not everything we say should be written; and not everything we write should be published.

Restraint is the key.

Restraint is so important, so lofty, that it can even rebuild the Beit Hamikdash, the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem.

Which is what actually happened more than 2,000 years ago.

King Herod, a slave descended from Edomite converts, knew the rabbis wouldn’t recognize his kingship since the Torah says, “From among your brothers you shall set a king over you” (Deuteronomy 17:15). So Herod killed all the Rabbis, sparing Bava ben Buta to use him as a counselor. Herod placed a crown of thorns on Bava ben Buta’s head and gouged out his eyes.

One day, according to the Talmud (Bava Batra 4a), Herod tried to trap Bava ben Buta into badmouthing him. Herod sat before Bava ben Bata and said, “Do you see what that lowly slave [Herod] did?”

“What should I do?” Bava ben Buta asked.

“Curse him,” Herod said.

Bava ben Buta responded with a quote: “Even in your thoughts do not curse a king” (Ecclesiastes 10:20).

“But he’s not really a king.” Herod then continued pressing Bava ben Buta even more.

“I’m afraid of him,” Bava ben Buta said.

“We’re all alone here. There’s nobody who can go and tell him.”

Bava ben Buta still wouldn’t relent. He said, “’For a bird of the skies will carry the voice and a winged creature will tell the matter’” (Ecclesiastes 10:20).

Herod then said, “I am Herod. If I knew the Rabbis were so careful, I wouldn’t have killed them. How can I fix my mistake?”

“Since you extinguished the light of the world [referring to the Rabbis], as it’s written, ‘For the commandment is a light and the Torah is a lamp’ (Proverbs 6:23), go now and attend to the light of the world (referring to the Temple), as it says, ‘And all the nations become enlightened by it’” (Isaiah 2:2).

Herod took Bava ben Buta’s advice and rebuilt the Holy Temple into a magnificent structure of stunning marble resembling the waves of the sea. It was so wondrous that it used to be said: “Whoever has not seen the Temple of Herod has never seen a beautiful building” (Bava Batra 4a).

All because of Bava ben Buta’s restraint.

And in our own time when just one tap on a mobile phone can send a potentially damaging message or photo to multitudes, perhaps with our restraint the third and final Temple can finally be built after two thousand years of yearning.