The American Donut Dream

One of my favorite sayings of all time is something that I heard Rav Lazer Brody say on one of his outstanding English CD’s: “What the eyes see, the heart desires.” We all know this to be true after just one nanosecond of contemplation. When Rav Brody talks about this, it’s usually referring to men guarding their eyes.

That’s all nice, but I want to apply it to me. You see, I’m having major trouble in this area as well. Here’s the deal: there is a new bakery that opened up a few months ago, right next to the entrance of my favorite supermarket in Bet Shemesh. I’m not going to give out any names, but let’s just say it rhymes with “New York Brake Shlop.” Pheewww. My secret is still safe with me.

In case you haven’t yet figured out, the thing that makes this bakery so special is that it has all American-style products. There are cinnamon buns, fruit rolls, rainbow cake, 7-layer cake, black and white cookies, challahs, and, oh yes, donuts. Endless flavors of donuts. Donuts galore. Like Dunkin’ Donuts, but with more donuts.

You get the picture?

Well, there is a certain donut that they carry, which tastes exactly like my former favorite donut of all time, the Entenman’s classic chocolate-covered donut. Did I spell that right? Let me tell you how much I used to love this donut when I was living in Miami. When the store would put them on sale, I would stand there and fight with myself for a good five minutes, until finally giving in and putting those ridiculously high calorie-filled boxes into my shopping cart. Then, when I got home, I would fight with myself for at least another five minutes before finally giving in and eating one (or two) of those insanely delicious donuts.

One of the benefits I had when I made aliyah was that I didn’t have to deal with this terrible dilemma, as it was taking a toll on my Barbie doll figure. Or was that the pregnancies? I guess the world will never know…

Can you imagine my shock when I discovered that these cursed donuts followed me across the ocean so they could once again call out to me from the store shelves? It’s kind of like the mythical Greek sirens who used to lure sailors to their death by calling to them with their beautiful and enchanting voices.

I HATE YOU, (**#&$(**@ DONUTS!!

They’re like an old love that has come back to haunt me. I thought I was over them. But, now that we have reunited, I see that they have never left my heart. With every delectable bite, I savor our three seconds of culinary bliss together. And then they’re gone – at least, until our next reunion, which happens predictably every Thursday. I’m such a sucker.

These days, I find myself once again in the same battle. I have to fight with myself not to go into the bakery. And then, predictably, I have to fight with myself not to take a package of donuts off the shelf. And so on, and so on, all the way home, or until the package is finished- whichever comes first.

You’re probably wondering what my donut love/hate relationship has to do with the phrase that I wrote about at the beginning of this article. It’s really quite straightforward. If I don’t see those donuts, I don’t think about them! And, if I don’t think about them, I don’t want them!

It’s a brilliant stroke of deductive reasoning, I know. Seriously, though, this famous Talmudic phrase can be applied to every area of our lives. I’m actually starting to wonder if the advertising giants learned this insight from the Talmud.

People, this is why Rav Arush stresses guarding our eyes so much. We certainly don’t want a person other than our spouses occupying precious territory in our hearts and minds. So, the only way to avoid this problem is to not leave the gateways exposed.

So, you might be wondering how I plan to guard my eyes against the dreaded donuts. I’ve got it all figured out. Would anyone know where I can score me a pair of blinders, like those police horses in New York wear?