Flight Mode

It was the last leg of my flight – I’d be home that night.

I’d been gone for 4 days. Days which felt like marathon meetings, meals, and business socializing capped on each end by full day flights. I was tired, hurting (I’d hurt my back during the first day of my travels), motion sick, and just really looking forward to getting off of the plane and seeing my husband.

We were taxing to the runway; standard safety announcements were being made – including repeated reminders for people to put their electronics in airplane mode. My aisle seat gave me a clear view of the lady across the aisle and one seat to the front of me. She kept turning around and talking to the people seated behind me. She also kept pulling her cell phone out of her purse – I noticed she had turned the sound off, but she had not put it in airplane mode.

I forced myself to look out the window, to appreciate the fact that the seat next to me was vacant, to rest. But in the darkened cabin her bright phone light kept drawing my attention. She was checking Facebook and sending text messages. OK, I thought – she will stop soon… surely before we take off. She didn’t.

Airborne, the messaging continued. Sometimes the messages would go through, other times she would get an error message that she didn’t have signal. From her body language, this lack of connectivity confused her greatly. Initially I assumed she didn’t know about using airplane mode but then I saw her check her phone to make sure airplane mode wasn’t on.

OK, so she knew what that button did. Why wasn’t she following the rules?!

I will admit, I am a rule follower – assuming that, although some rules may be unnecessary, some rules are important. Generally though, it doesn’t bother me when other people don’t follow the rules – especially if I’m not apt to be “lumped in” with them if they get in trouble for not following the rules. You want to walk on the lawn with the clearly marked “don’t walk on the grass” sign? Fine. I’m going to stay over here on the sidewalk, thank you very much. Yes, I have a lot of spiritual work to do.

I was frustrated with myself for watching her. Repeatedly, I redirected my attention back to my own thoughts which would then be promptly interrupted by her pulling her phone out again. And so the flight went on with me getting more and more frustrated and her getting better and better signal as we got closer to our destination.

I thought about explaining to her that her poor signal was due to the fact that we were flying and she was not supposed to be using her phone! That wouldn’t work I reasoned because then I’d have to explain that I had been essentially spying on her. I wondered if there was a real danger to the plane by having the phone on – maybe I should tell the stewardess. No, that might embarrass the lady.

I decided I was going to mind my own business – I would not let myself get distracted by what she was doing. It was none of my business and wasn’t very polite of me.

It was dark outside and no sooner than I had firmly redirected myself to my own affairs then she started this odd behavior of taking her phone out of her purse, turning it on (with a very bright screen that hurt my eyes in that dark cabin), looking at the screen, shutting it off, putting it back in her purse where it would stay for less than about 20 seconds and then she would repeat the process.

ARGHHHHH! I screamed internally. It felt as if she was doing it simply to annoy me.

It was then that I realized, she was doing it specifically to annoy me. Or rather, Hashem had caused the situation to teach me something.

“OK, Hashem” I asked – “what is the lesson here?”

The answer was almost immediate. My phone use and the impact is has on those around me. I work off my phone just about as much as I work off of my computer. That means I’m available to every beep and whistle of my phone during all of my waking hours.

I realized that there was really no separation between work and the rest of my life. If I’m awake, I’m working regardless of what else I’m doing. My phone never goes to “airplane mode” for the important family parts of the day. My phone is constantly buzzing and flashing and I pick it up and check it when people are trying to talk with me. Talk about rude!

So the lady continued her phone checking and texting but suddenly I was no longer annoyed. That night she was my mirror – clearly showing me how annoying this “always connected” lifestyle can be to the people around me. And once again I am so thankful that Hashem is constantly trying to communicate with us…. If only we can develop the spiritual ears to listen before He has to, G-d forbid, yell.

I’d love to hear from you – how do you disconnect during those all so important family times or even just when someone is trying to talk to you? Share your tips in the comments.

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Jennifer invites you to participate in a regularly held Noahide on-line study group that reviews the garden series books of Rabbi Arush. You can contact her at jenniferjwoodward@gmail.com for dates and times.