When the Dog Bites
Despite the non-stop, all-you-can-eat buffet of negativity and sadness that we can focus on throughout the course of the day, we can always come back to a joyful state...
It is a great mitzvah to be happy always. Even when Islamo-fascists attack people in India, Israeli citizens are being evicted from their homes, and the economy is tanking. All of these events, some ongoing, are painful and keep us up at night, yet we are supposed to keep following Hashem’s rules for us, with simcha, with joy.
Can negative emotions coexist with simcha? Can you really be happy and fearful at the same time? It kind of seems like you can, like when walking down the aisle towards your future husband or wife. Or when seeing your baby for the first time after giving birth.
Or even stranger, can you be happy and depressed at the same time? It seems that maybe you can, like when your child gets dropped off at his dorm for his or her first year of college. Or when you retire and must say goodbye to many colleagues, although you are looking forward to more restful days.
So there are exceptions that seem to be quite complicated. And to make matters worse, there seem to be many of them. But the general principle seems to be undeniable. In the midst of the non-stop, all-you-can-eat buffet of negativity and sadness that we can focus on throughout the course of the day we are to always come back to a joyful state.
This demand, that we serve God with joy, requires that we shift our focus, our attention, to the positives in a situation. We are forced to seek what is there, not take an accounting of what is not. This positive accounting gets easier the more you do it, that is the good news. We learn to see what is in front of our noses, but that we were blind to simply because we were indulging a negative emotion and giving it permission to rule our outlook. But there are situations so heart-wrenching that to shoo away the dark thoughts seems impossible. That is when we must dig and ask Hashem to help us strike oil.
Sometimes we can not just shift our attention; we are forced to understand the spiritual rules of this world if we are to remain in simcha. Why should I be happy about situation X that seems so undeniably wretched? We have to ask ‘why’ and seek an answer. And even if we never find out why a given event occurs, because only Hashem really knows, we learn that there are general principles at play and that any event is occurring within a single context, or many. And the dynamics of these contexts is ultimately under Hashem’s control.
So this demand that we remain in simcha leads us to confront the fact that Hashem is in control. I am not, you are not, the cretins with machine guns who are coked-up and shooting people in India are not, your kids are not, your boss is not, George Bush is not. We have to make this incredible jump that has always struck me as sounding totally insane when I articulate it: there is an all-powerful, invisible, all-knowing Being Who is one (not many), Who exists beyond space and time, Who created everything, and Who constantly sustains everything, Who is on the smallest and largest scale involved in everything going on in this world. So the command that we be joyful leads us to walk down a road and confront some crucial spiritual facts about the world in which we live, even facts that seem absurd when articulated.
Photo, left: A Breslever rabbi – handles other peoples’ problems all the time, yet look at the smile on his face!Think about the jobs out there that force people to confront challenging and easily depressing situations: Child Protective Services workers; rabbis and other clergy; police officers and detectives; ambulance drivers; doctors, especially those who specialize in intense areas such as pediatric cancers, premature births and the like; the people who clean up crime scenes; people who slaughter animals for meat; vets who must put down animals; and perhaps the most challenging of all, soldiers. How is it that there are people who can do these jobs for decades and not become permanently depressed? How is it that there are soldiers who can serve side by side in a unit, see pretty much the same scenes unfold for a year, and one will come home broken and the other will go back for more still an intact person? I contend that for many of them it is because they have a context into which they place the gruesome and painful acts they must witness and engage in. I would also contend that many of these people are experts in seeing the positives that coexist with the sadness.
The challenge to remain in simcha also forces us to change our ways, not just our attitudes. Perhaps we engage in less risky behaviors so as not to induce anxiety, helping us to jettison the credit card, the weed, and the over doing it at the bar. Perhaps we chose more appropriate company, whether that means breaking up with your girlfriend or minimizing contact with the office doomsayer. Or maybe we adopt positive behaviors like exercise and a little weightlifting, which I can personally testify has made me feel deep down mellow and joyful as of late. You might also choose to turn off the TV and turn on the music, or tickle your kid, or talk to your dog who is dying for some attention. Or maybe we will be forced to change careers, move closer to a support network, or take care of some unfinished business that is looming over our heads.
If we are to remain in simcha we are forced to take action, to become activated, which shows us that Hashem has surrounded us with help and put within us the mechanism to accomplish this. After all, would a Benevolent Creator demand this if it were not possible?
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