Everyone Matters

Have you ever sized up a person before?
 
As a former Wall Streeter, I can tell you that I did this all the time. How do you put a value on someone in a New York minute? You ask yourself the following: One, how do they dress? Two, what do they talk about? Three, how intelligent do they sound while they are talking about it? Four, how important are the names of the people who they claim to know?
 
I wasn't the only one playing this game. I got sized up all the time.
 
At a cocktail party, I would always be subject to someone else's scan. A new acquaintance would conduct his or her probe and decide if I was worth being upgraded from new acquaintance to full-fledged contact. Even during my life-after-Armani I would continue to get the full treatment.
 
On some level we all do this. A voice inside us asks a very blunt question and we have less than thirty seconds to figure out what can this individual do for me?
 
Our answer can determine how much interest we continue to express in the people we meet.
 
It doesn't make us monsters. What we are feeling in these situations is a subtle extension of our basic survival instinct. When we meet somebody new, we immediately want to know if it is a friend or a foe.
 
The problem is not our instincts. Our challenge is to make sure that what our instincts are telling are only a small part of the story. We need to combine the data with certain Absolute Truths, and then with all the information we now process, we are able to make the wisest decisions and act according to our best interests.
 
Does money make the man? Our sagesremind us that all of our contacts, business opportunities, and income are merely channels of abundance. Everything comes from Above and we are the recipients. Our income is generated not from the ingenuity of our financial acumen, but as a blessing from Hashem. Among those who have great sums of money are humble philanthropists and amoral swindlers. Money does not tell us if we are in the presence of a good person. By extension, the physical things we acquire with money – homes, cars, clothes, cologne – don't tell us anything either.
 
What about influence? Does having the right contacts make the man? We know that in order to have a contact, you have to prove to that person you are worth something to their interests. A contact doesn't claim to know you because of how nice you are – they know you only by what you are able to do for them.
 
So what makes us important? What expresses to the crowd that we are of value? How do we know who matters most in thisworld?
 
Let's begin with the story of AMR.
 
AMR was a Rabbi's assistant in old Europe. After a number of years the Rabbi saved a little money and set it aside to marry off his daughter. He hid it in a special place in the basement. When his daughter announced her upcoming marriage, the Rabbi was overjoyed. He went downstairs to get her dowry. To his shock, the money was gone. At the same time, his assistant announced he was getting married himself. The Rabbi swallowed his troubles and danced for joy in honor of his beloved friend.
 
His children were a little suspicious. They demanded that the Rabbi ask AMR where he got the money so quickly.
 
The Rav refused.
 
A week later AMR told the Rabbi he was going to open up a small grocery store. Once again, the Rabbi was happy for him. His children were furious. They prodded and prodded the Rav until he agreed to confront his beloved worker.
 
The Rabbi came to AMR's house looking very distraught. AMR asked what was wrong. The Rabbi told him everything. He said he had lost the money to marry off his daughter and was heartbroken about it. It was suggested, given the recent string of successes in AMR's life, that perhaps he stole the money. As the Rabbi forced the accusation out of his mouth, tears rolled down his cheeks.
 
AMR confessed: "I'm sorry my Rabbi. I stole the money. I needed to get married. Take this. It's 300 gold coins. I will pay you a sum every month until all the money is returned to you."
 
The Rabbi was too happy to be upset.
 
"AMR my beloved friend all I care is that you decided to make teshuvah. May Hashem bless you in your marriage and in your parnussa!"
 
They embraced and that was the end of it. . .
 
. . . Until two weeks later the police paid the Holy Sage a visit.
 
"Rabbi, do you know this man?"
 
"Of course officer. He is the husband of the women who cleans the shul every month."
 
"Do you recognize this satchel?"
 
"Yes. It's where I keep my money. "
 
"This man took it and started to show off about how he swiped it from a Jew. The local barkeep at the tavern reported it. Here is your money. We're sorry for the inconvenience."
 
The Rabbi could barely contain himself. He rushed over to AMR's house, showed him the money, and asked why he admitted to a crime he was innocent of.
 
"Rabbi, I saw how devastated you were over losing the money. I knew you wouldn't accept anything as a gift, so I told you that I took the money so you would take it and marry your daughter."
 
"G-d Bless you." Replied the Sage.
 
Those words were prophetic. From that moment on, everything AMR touched turned to gold. He couldn't make a business deal without generating massive returns. He became a well-known figure in the Jewish community and beyond.
 
Who is AMR?
 
Anschel Meyer Rothschild, the founding member of the Rothschild dynasty. It is believed that the Rothschild family fortune eventually grew to over well over $50 billion in today's currency.
 
He didn't build this empire with his money. It wasn't his intellect that dazzled the financial community. No one of this world helped him to fame.
 
It all started with an act of kindness done with the purest of intentions.
 
This changes all of the rules.
 
Every one of us has a Divine soul inside. Each of us are special to Hashem. Showing kindness to another is like currying favor with one of the King's nobles.
 
It could be a smile in passing, or a firm handshake. It could be asking someone about their family, their job, or their home. It could be as simple as calling someone by their name. The Ben Ish Chai states that there is inherent energy in a person's name. In mentioning their name, you are making them very happy.
 
At the very beginning of our morning prayers, we recite two pieces from the Talmud. The first is a Mishna, Peah 1:1. It tells us that there are certain mitzvoth we can perform where the reward is so great there is no set measure for them. Among those deeds are acts of kindness. The next is from Tractate Shabbos, page 127a. It tells us that there are certain mitzvoth where Hashem rewards us both in this world and inthe world to come. Acts of kindness are also listed. That's the power of a simple smile. For eternity – Hashem smiles back!
 
That's how we realize how important the person we are meeting is to us. Every man, woman, and child on earth presents us with a Divine opportunity.
 
All souls emanate from the same Source. All mitzvoth are recorded in the same book. There is no difference between the chief of staff of the White House and the chief of staff of the local Burger Ranch.  Everybody counts. Everyone is a channel of Divine blessings of happiness and abundance both in this world and the next.
 
Everyone matters.
 
 
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Dovber Halevi is the author of the financial book, How to Survive the Coming Decade of Anxiety. He writes for Breslev Israel and The Middle East Magazine. He lives with his wife and two children in Eretz Yisrael.