No Regrets

Have you ever regretted a decision in life? Have you ever chose left, only to learn that those who chose right had better results? Every now and then we read in the paper about 15 people who worked modest jobs and put together some money to buy a lottery ticket. The ticket is the winning one and they all became millionaires overnight. There is often one or two people who were given the opportunity to join but didn’t. Then there are the actors and actresses who had the chance to star in a role but turned it down. The movie became a blockbuster and the other person who took the role is now famous.
 
What happens when we make the right decision, only to have to give up on it for lack of energy, time, or resources and then learn that others who were able to follow through on the same choice achieved great success in their life?
 
Rabbi Shalom Arush (left) wanted to be an economist and Rabbi Lazer Brody (right) wanted to be a farmer. Do you think they have regrets?
 
The common reaction is to kick ourselves. Whenever things don’t work out, or even when they do work out – it just worked out better for the other guy, we cry in our hearts about how we could have been in their situation had we taken one simple turn in the other direction.
 
This is a blessing of Emuna. Even during those moments where we fall into the trap of self-pity, they only serve as a Divine Catalyst for strengthened Emuna and closeness to Hashem.
 
What should we reflect upon when we have regrets?
 
One.Everything in life comes directly from Hashem. Everything He does is for our benefit. Everything that happens to us is for our personal and spiritual growth. The regret itself is a brilliant wake up call for a full self-accounting. We are forced to ask ourselves if we are satisfied with all we do in a day, or if there is room for immediate improvement. Even if we come to the conclusion that there are aspects of our lives we do need to work on, we still can determine that the path we are traveling in life brings us closer to G-d.
 
What in this world can compare to that?
 
Two.There is no need to feel as if your one chance to “make it” is gone. When we see someone we know strike it big, especially in a venture we could have been a part of, there is an instinct to feel as if we will never succeed with the decisions we made. We see only one channel to success, but Hashem has infinite paths to greatness – both material and spiritual. Bill Gates and Marc Zuckerberg wanted to become Harvard graduates. Ronald Reagan wanted to be an actor. Lazer Brody wanted to be a farmer, and Shalom Arush wanted to be an economist. How many people do you know who started out with big plans in life, only to accomplish even greater things on the path G-d steered them towards? Do you think they had regrets?
 
Three.You are exactly where you need to be in life right now. As much as you feel regret for not doing that . . . you would have so much more to regret if you did. Hashem places us exactly where we need to be in order to make our soul correction and fulfill our mission in life. The fact that another path may seem a bit more attractive on the surface doesn’t mean it is what we need right now, or may ever need.  It also doesn’t mean that the path we are already on won’t yield similar or even greater results. The blessing of having not yet succeeded in something is that we keep trying. Effort is the number one way to serve Hashem.
 
If G-d gives us a path in life where we have to give it our all from the first day we draw breath to the last – He loves us! He is giving us everything we need and priming us for the time when we will not only have no regrets about the past, but we will be grateful for every obstacle G-d gave us not to come to a place of satiated stasis in life, but to always progress closer to Him with each and every step.
 
 
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Dovber Halevi is the author of Sex, Religion, and the Middle East, a book about personal holiness and happiness. He lives in Israel with his wife and three children.