Non-Dependent Love

Any love that depends on a specific cause, when that cause is gone, the love is gone; but if it does not depend on a specific cause, it will never cease.(Avot 5:9)
 
There is never a question of whether or not we will fall upon hard times. It's a guarantee. We learn in the Gemara that if we do not experience some sort of tribulation every forty days, we should be worried.
 
Therein lies a special chance to express our love for Hashem.
 
A shrinking bank account, a jilted heart, a stalled career path, problems finding friends or a soul mate, or any type of hardship in general are the best ways we can reassert our trust in G-d.
 
When times are good gratitude comes easy. The “cause” for our love is ever apparent. When times harden, removing the “cause” to appreciate our Father in Heaven, our love for Hashem has the potential to be unconditional. It’s free, no longer contingent upon any pleasure in this world. This is the silver lining shining through the cloud of hard times. Hashem is giving us an obstacle – and the chance to experience the supernal joy that comes with besting it.
 
Our primary objective in this world is to prepare for the Next World. Ideally, nothing that happens in this world should impact our emotions if all our energies are directed towards Heaven. When hard times fall upon us we should jump for joy!
 
I am not trying to downplay human hardships. If someone is going through emotional trauma it demands our compassion and kindness. But many of our challenges in life are not as severe as we think. A problem with our job means we have a job and can feed our family. Troubles in finding a mate mean we are healthy enough to find one. No matter how troubling a situation, we live in a relatively safe world where our basic physical security is guaranteed by whichever country we live in.
 
My wife always says that G-d doesn't hit with two sticks!
 
All of us struggle. All of us do everything we can to better our situation. While we are doing so, if we bemoan our fate we are implying that we love Hashem as long as He comes with good tidings.
 
We are commanded to thank G-d for the bad as well as the good because everything He does for us is for our own benefit. He always brings good tidings we just haven’t seen it yet. While times are tough, it's very tempting to be upset during prayers, or to approach our learning with sluggishness or a lack of concentration.
 
This is the test.
 
We learn from Rebbe Nachman that the entire world is a narrow bridge and the challenge is not to be afraid.
 
The chasm beneath that bridge is the pit of worry and uncertainty. It is the dark side trying to pull us down into the agnosticism that if times get tough, there is no justice to this world.
 
The canyon of disbelief is trying to lure us into the mistake that G-d exists, but for the moment His eyes are turned elsewhere.
 
Our bridge is steadfast Emuna. It is the path we create when we reassert that Hashem’s eyes are always beamed right on us – more so now that we are being tested. It is a narrow structure that we reinforce every time we smile at someone knowing that they don’t like us. It becomes stronger each time we are honest in the face of deception, humble in the face of brazenness, and focused in the face of worry.
 
It is the narrow path of life that we march across with the excitement of what awaits us on the other side. Why do we feel anticipation in the face of adversity? It’s because we are so focused on what lies ahead, we become oblivious to what lies beneath.
 
So the next time we are walking towards the Shul and all we can think about is the stock market, the phone bill, or whether or not she wants to see us again, stand up to the world! Promise Hashem we will put extra special focus in our prayers. We make every effort to say in our heart that we are not concerned at all with life’s uncertainties because we are certain that G-d is taking care of us and He will never let us down.
 
 
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Dovber Halevi is the author of the financial book, How to Survive the Coming Decade of Anxiety. He writes for Breslev Israeland The Middle East Magazine. He lives with his wife and two children in Eretz Yisrael.