The Scoreboard Theory

Mike is new to Judaism. He is getting up for prayers, learning a little bit each day but cannot devote the entire day to learning Torah. The current reality is that he needs to work, take care of different family chores, and make quality time for his wife and kids. OK, so he is keeping Shabbat, makes his wife number one, and puts in effort into his children’s Torah upbringing. He is doing great! Despite the fact that he really wants to be delving into the Talmud or learning in a Yeshiva, our friend is succeeding with what Hashem has given him.

Should this guy be jealous of a Yeshiva student?  On the one hand, he is happy with his family life, but desperately yearns for the quiet and peace of mind for complete Torah immersion. To our misfortune, that is how many of us are going through life. We aren’t seeing the picture through “eyes of emuna”. We are seeing it through our perception of how we think or would want the world to be for us. But, my dear friends, let’s stop playing life like we don’t have Emuna. We all just need to help each other more in getting stronger.

Negative thoughts against emuna make us jealous, lowering the love that we have collectively for each of us within the Jewish people.  So I have a tool to share with you when you feel the jealously building up. Imagine a giant scoreboard at a professional sports game. One of the teams is The Jewish People and the other is Enemies of Israel. Now, the next time you see your friend with that new car, instead of being jealous, say in your heart, “Wow Thank G-d that Hashem has given him the means to provide for himself” then immediately think one or two positive qualities they have. When you do that, you have just put on major points to our team The Jewish People. Visualize the score increasing for our team! Keep this in your mind as you go throughout the day, and hold yourself accountable, where are the points going? If you are failing then the other team is winning, but remember this is not a game! 

OK, nice tool, David, but really, does this work? What if I want to get ahead or attain things that are seemingly out of reach! ?

If you see that someone has something that is apparently better than you think again and remember this saying “I am just a creation, and Hashem Who created me knows all, He’s not playing games, there is a reason why I have it the way I do, so Thank You!” Go with an emuna phrase like that, and suddenly your eyes will stop popping out of our head every time you imagine that someone might seemingly have it better than you do. Rav Brody brings in 6 Days to the Top, “to never compare yourself with others.”

There was a woman who came bitterly crying to Rav Shalom Arush about the fact that she didn’t have any children. She was very sad and jealous how everyone in her neighborhood was pushing new strollers. She desperately was yearning to have children after many years of being childless. The Rav told her with great sensitivity that he felt her pain, but explained that Hashem does not owe us anything. The woman was in shock and wondered how is that supposed to help her! Then the Rav continued and said, “But…. If you do something you don’t have to do, Hashem will do something He doesn’t have to.”

In his wisdom, the Rav was trying to readjust the woman’s perspective from suffering to Emuna. Now his point was clear, oftentimes we are just getting by with our Judaism(“Ok I kept Shabbat, Ok I put on Tefillin, Ok I am wearing a long skirt now etc. ” ) but is it with passion? Hashem wants our hearts. Rav Shalom hinted to her to do something extra in her Judaism with passion, something unexpected and out of the ordinary.

She started going to the hospital to spread encouraging Emuna books and CD’s to sick children and pregnant women. This was something that was an ultimate mitzvah that she didn’t have to do. She could have just kept going with the flow of her week to week sad and depressing life, but she threw herself completely into this.  Today, she has no time for complaining because her living room is now a playground for her two children.

Homework: Read 6 Days to the Top by Rabbi Lazer Brody and Garden of Wisdom by Rabbi Shalom Arush, make it happen that this year you will score big for The Jewish People!!!