A Mouthful of Good

I can venture to guess that there are others besides me who have hidden inner conflicts which often simmer close to a boil. I am not referring to skeletons in the closet although I’m sure there are some of those as well. I am talking about times when the real me feels like it is being taken over by aliens, otherwise known as the good ol’ yetzer hara (evil inclination). It is on those occasions that my life becomes a paradox. With a little well-aimed provocation from certain individuals, my quiet, shy and semi-sweet self turns into the Wicked Witch of the Middle East. Sure, I can blame the other person…. ‘If so and so didn’t egg me on, didn’t hurt my feelings, etcetera, etcetera’…. but who am I kidding? Do I stoop to the level of the proverbial dog (see Garden of Emuna) that is biting the stick rather than understanding that it is all coming from HaShem?  G-d can send us messages via other people’s conduct, so by letting my reactions control me, I am missing a Divinely sent opportunity.
 
Rebbe Nachman of Breslev, may his memory be blessed, taught that we should seek out the good in others.‎"It is forbidden for a person to look negatively at his fellow man, to find specifically that which is not good and to search for the shortcomings in the other's religious devotions. On the contrary, he is obligated to focus only on the good." (Likutey Moharan II, 17:3) One of my biggest hurdles is trying to find the positive in certain people who constantly push my buttons. During hitbodedut (personal prayer), I used to ask HaShem to help me to see only the good in someone, but after awhile I realized I had it all wrong. If HaShem would grant my request to SEE ONLY THE GOOD, it would take away my free choice.  What I really should be asking is to be able to see the good along withthe bad yethave the strength to be able to look away from the negative and appreciate the positive! This is the loftier challenge and therefore earns greater reward. I believe that is the real test.
 
You may have read my earlier article, Blackout, about my experience with a nasty fainting spell. Today, more than six months later, I am still paying the price for whatever caused this suffering. (Rabbi Lazer Brody, shlita, teaches, as it states in the Gemara, that there is no tribulation without prior transgression). When I say suffering, I should clarify by stating that at this stage it is more of an inconvenience and discomfort than actual pain. The sting is mostly felt in our pocketbooks. I smashed two front teeth and one had to be pulled. I am now in the process of receiving an implant, the cost of which is exorbitant as Rabbi Brody points out in Mr. Brinks.  Even with that, I can’t complain. By utilizing our emuna we understand that everything is for the best and for a reason. No mortal can possibly fathom the calculations in Shomayim (Heaven) that cause our hardships in this world but I have no doubt that they are preferable to other alternatives.
 
I am also thankful for this persistent reminder which keeps me on my toes. Stop for a moment and think how many sins are directly related to the mouth!  The list is quite scary; loshon hora (gossip),anger, screaming, cursing, criticizing and eating forbidden foods. Each time my inner ‘alien’ entices me to use my mouth in an unholy manner, my wounded gums ache with displeasure. Alas, being human, I am occasionally caught off guard as my reckless speech beats my brain to the punch. Not only do I cause injury to myself, but I distance those around me and cause untold emotional damage to the recipient of my tirades. Thank G-d for the gift of tshuva (repentance). Within seconds I can employ Rabbi Brody’s SCAR treatment; S – stop, C – confess, A – apologize, R – resolve to do better. While we should never abuse this opportunity, it is amazing that we have the power to erase a spiritually deadly action when we do slip up. Just as our mouth can cause incomprehensible harm to our Neshama (soul), if used properly, it can elevate us as we sanctify HaShem’s Name through prayer, wholesome speech and virtuous song. Replacing criticism and hostility with praise and compassion has the ability to turn chaos into blessings. The Creator of the Universe also provided us with this oral cavity to aid in sustaining us through the food we eat, the water we drink and the air we breathe. It is quite a ‘chutzpah’ (audacity) to abuse our mouths as we do, yet sadly, far too many of us regularly engage in loshon hara and belittling on some level. Kol hakavod (all due respect) to those righteous individuals who make a serious effort to curb such tenacious habits.
 
Bereishit (Genesis) Chapter 1:27 states“And G–d created man in His image; in the image of G-d He created him”.  Since G-d made us in His image and desires that we emulate His Heavenly attributes, we should attempt to live up to that enormous responsibility, and strive to be angelic, even in this earthly Kingdom. When HaShem created the world, He formed man’s physical body and then infused the soul within by ‘the breath of His mouth’. “By the word of G-d were the heavens made; and all the host of them by the breath of His mouth (Psalms 33:6).”  This is a clear indication of the amazing potential one’s mouth holds.  When we feel the ‘alien seductress’ threatening to overcome us, we must make every effort to blast it into orbit, and out of our field of gravity. By allowing the persuasive invader to take over our minds, it consumes our souls, causing us to lose our identity and our true selves. To avoid such incredible torment, we must strengthen ourselves in holiness; Torah, mitzvot, emuna and prayer, bringing more of G-d’s Light and Love into our lives. By using our mouths with purity, the Satan (accusing angel) will have little reason to point the finger at us and, G-d willing, will vanish into oblivion forever.