Worthless or Priceless

In the same vein, if my kids get into the school that we’d like for them (and at the time of writing, there still isn’t much reason to expect that’s going to happen…) why again has it taken so much effort, and attracted so many setbacks and reverses and bumps in the road?

 

If Hashem went to all the trouble of showing us the right community in the first place, and showing us the right school in the first place, then why has the rest of the process been anything but straightforward?

 

As usual, Rav Arush had the answer on one of his emuna CDs, where he was talking about how things are absolutely worthless if we don’t pray for them.

 

I had to think about this concept for a bit, before I actually started to see just how right it was. In London, I never really prayed very much. When I did pray, it was usually a one-off, and only after I’d got absolutely desperate that some ‘must have’ wasn’t going to materialise.

 

When I’d been out of work for a few months, I prayed for a job – once – and I got one. And I appreciated that job much more than I did the other jobs that came far easier. I prayed for kids – a few times – and if I hadn’t done even that small bit of praying, I never would have appreciated them as much as I do.

 

Now that I’ve been praying for more kids for a while, I appreciate my girls even more. What precious gifts they are, even at four in the morning! But I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t see things that way if I had three more running around, spaced at intervals to ‘suit’ the way I wanted my life to work out.

 

I never prayed for money. Hashem gave us so much money in London – and I didn’t appreciate it all. It was never enough. I never prayed to have good food on the table for Shabbat, and I never prayed about making whatever recipe I wanted to, whenever I wanted to. I never prayed about going on holiday, or buying expensive furniture; or about the fact that I had all my family living so close by – I took it all for granted. Ditto, the fact that my family was all in good health. Ditto, that my kids were going to a Jewish school. Ditto, that I had good friends in the UK who I could really rely on. All these amazing, wonderful, stupendous gifts from Hashem – and I took them all for granted. So much for granted, that instead of seeing them as priceless, I treated them as though they were worthless.

 

 

Things only changed when we arrived in Israel, and we suddenly had to struggle to have so many of the things that we’d taken so much for granted. My husband was a laywer in the UK – I never had to pray for his incomea there. Here, I did. He was out of work for a year, during which time he sat and learned in kollel, and I prayed.

 

Three years on, my husband is still enjoying the job he got after all the waiting and praying; he learns every morning, thank G-d, and he has hardly any ‘work angst’. Why? Because he knows what a priceless gift his job is.

 

In a similar vein, hardly a day goes by when I don’t thank Hashem simply for the fact that I live in Israel. I don’t give a hoot about the rude bank clerks, the crazy drivers, the heat waves, the crooked politicians, the red tape… Why? Because I prayed so much for Hashem to let us stay in Israel, I know that every day here is a wonderful gift.

 

I know people who have had a much easier aliya than us. The jobs came easier; the social group came easier; the kids settled in easier; the house came easier; making ends meet came easier – and they moan and complain all day long. All their priceless blessings are worthless. Why? Because they didn’t pray for them.

 

Try it yourself. Think about what came easy in your life, and what didn’t. Think about what you really prayed for – even a little bit – and what you didn’t. And be really honest with yourself: the things you didn’t pray for don’t really count for as much, do they?

 

If you didn’t pray for your gorgeous five bedroom house, I’m sure you can list at least 10 things that you could do to improve it. If you didn’t pray for your Pesach break, I’m sure that the room was too small, the food was too greasy, the lobby was too noisy, the activity programme wasn’t as good as you hoped…

 

If you don’t pray every time you go to the supermarket that Hashem will make your budget balance, and still let you buy enough stuff to entertain properly on Shabbat – you’ll never even register what a constant and continual gift you are being given.

 

Can you buy a pair of shoes whenever you want? Can you replace appliances as soon as they wear out? Are you driving a car that’s less than five years old? Is all your family healthy, with healthy organs, limbs, minds and neshamas? Do you ever say ‘thank you’ for all these priceless blessings – or are they worthless?

 

Once I heard that Rav Arush CD, I stopped asking ‘why’ everything had to be such a shlep. The last few months, I’ve prayed more about finding the right community and the right school, than I’ve ever prayed in my life.

 

All that prayer means that Bezrat Hashem, when these blessings materialise, I am really going to appreciate them. Every day. Even when things aren’t ‘perfect’. Just as I thank Hashem all the time for being in Israel and having parnassa, I’m looking forward to adding thanks for my kids being in a spiritually nurturing environment; for having a lovely home in a great community; and for my family continuing to serve Hashem happily and healthily for many years to come. Amen v’amen.

 

PS: Miraculously, and despite a long waiting list of other kids also hoping for a spot, my kids both got in to the school we wanted for them. Thanks, Hashem…