Being Satisfied Without Satisfaction
These words are especially relevant today. We live in a generation in which thousands of people suffer from the boredom of unfulfilled lives...
These words are especially relevant today. We live in a generation in which thousands of people suffer from the boredom of unfulfilled lives.
It is important for us to remember that the ability to be satisfied with what we have, with whatever livelihood and possessions God grants us, is one of the most fortunate traits in life. It says in Mishlei (Proverbs): “Better is dry bread with contentment, than a house full of sacrifices and strife” (Mishlei 17:1), and in Pirke Avos: “What is the proper way that a man should follow? Rabbi Elazar said, ‘A good eye.’” The Bartenura comments: “This refers to someone who is happy with his portion, does not desire needless possessions, and is not jealous when his friend has more than he.”1 This truth applies in every area of life; a person should learn to be content with a little, and not have to seek satisfaction from all things, at all times.
These words are especially relevant today. We live in a generation in which thousands of people suffer from the boredom of unfulfilled lives. This is a terrible disease that has even spread among the most devout members of the religious community, individuals whose entire lives are devoted to prayer and Torah study. Despite their best efforts, they too constantly suffer from dissatisfaction. This affliction is actually mentioned in the Torah among the curses of Moshe Rabbeinu (Devarim-Deuteronomy 28:20). According to the Ibn Ezra, when this malady strikes, a person finds no fulfillment in life and is left with only emptiness and worries. The more he tries, the deeper he sinks, God forbid.
Terrible consequences can develop from this attitude. A person embittered by dissatisfaction will usually blame others for the problem: friends, parents, or teachers. I have heard from many marriage counselors that this dilemma can eventually break up a home, and yet no one knows of a solution. When the desire for constant satisfaction is concealed in one or both members of the couple, it can be extremely difficult to uproot.
All this comes from a stubborn insistence on deriving ultimate satisfaction from every act, instead of being content with experiencing a little, or with just performing one’s duty without feeling fulfilled at all. People don’t realize that they can learn to be satisfied by the simple fulfillment of their responsibilities. This is true in daily obligations, and all the more so when it comes to fulfilling the will of the King of Kings, which is our true purpose in life.2 A person must learn to expect less and do more, both in his spiritual practices, and in his daily responsibilities; whether for his own sake, or for the sake of others. Above all, he must believe that God directs his life with the greatest precision. He should fulfill his responsibility, and let God do what is right in His eyes. It is written, “You gave joy to my heart” (Tehillim-Psalms 4:8). That is, it is God who gives joy; satisfaction is only in the hands of Heaven. We must praise God for the food that He so generously bestows upon us, and find satisfaction in that.
Rebbe Nachman once commented that if we knew how truly kind God is to us, we would realize that even when He deals with us harshly, He is still showing us His love. Something positive can be found within any pain, as the verse says: “You have relieved me in my distress” (ibid. 4:2). Besides the fact that we hope God will deliver us from all our afflictions and be gracious to us, it is possible to discern His love even within the pain itself.3
The Answer: Faith and Humility
The blessing of peace and fulfillment can only come as a result of faith and humility-they alone can heal the disease of emptiness and indifference, of boredom and constant dissatisfaction. One who believes that God directs his every step, and therefore acts with humility, will never come to harm. Reb Zusia of Anipoli once commented: “The sorcerers of Egypt admitted that the plague of lice was brought about by God, and not through sorcery, because the forces of evil have no power over creatures smaller than a barley-corn.4. We can learn from this that if a person regards himself as smaller than a barley-corn, no evil in the world can harm him.”
On the verse “Our oxen-alufeinu-are bearing” (Tehillim 144:14), the Baal Shem Tov commented: When one realizes that the Master-the Alufo-of creation is directing the entire world with the utmost precision and the greatest concern for every individual, then all life’s trials become bearable.” 5
Patience is the remedy for the disease of boredom, because God does not withhold reward from any creature. In due time, each person will get what he deserves. “A man of faith has many blessings” (Mishlei 28:20). In the end, he will see the fruit of his labors.
Rav Simcha Bunim of Pashischa commented thus on the verse, “And God was with Yosef, and he was successful, and he was in the house of his master, the Egyptian” (Bereishit 39:2): God was with Yosef;” that is, Yosef trusted in God no matter whether “ he was successful” or whether “he was [a slave] in the house of the Egyptian.”6
Success in Torah
King Solomon, in his wisdom, wrote, “One who waits for the wind will never sow” (Kohelet-Ecclesiastes 11:4). Each year, when winter arrives, men go out to work in the fields, to plow, sow, and till, even without a sign of rain. When they have done their part, they wait expectantly for God to bring the rain and dew. And if He does not and the crops rot, they don’t abandon hope, but plant again and again until the stalks are full, and the storehouses overflowing. Only at the end do they see the fruits of their labor. This is the way of the world; it is the right way.
On the other hand, if a farmer goes out at the beginning of winter, glances at the sky and thinks, “Why should I plow and sow? Who knows if it will rain? There’s not a cloud on the horizon. I think I will just wait a bit,” then he will never sow. This is who King Solomon had in mind when he said, “One who waits for the wind will never sow.” A person who must see the rain clouds before going out to work will never begin, for who knows if that moment will ever arrive. Success in Torah only comes when we toil at it, whether we feel like it or not. Only by pursuing our studies, despite the empty winter sky, will we eventually grasp the Torah in the most sublime way possible.
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Used with permission from the author, from “In all my Ways” Keren Ohr Publications.
1 Pirkei Avos 2:13.
2 See Sha’ar HaGilgulim 21, where the Arizal explains why some individuals are always worried and depressed without reason.
3 Likutey Moharan I:195.
4 Rashi on Exodus 8:14.
5 Kesser Shem Tov 66; Poras Yosef 111b.
6 Midrash Simcha.
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