Staying Up When Life is Down

Indeed, a person’s desire is most apparent during times of challenges and setbacks, when life isn’t easy. Anyone can be happy during times of triumph and success. And, the happiness of success might not be genuine happiness at all; it could be arrogance, the gratification that his success is now bringing him more honor and prestige. But, when a person falls, he feels his futility and lack of ability. If he holds on with desire, then he shows that he really wants Hashem; he is making a statement, “Despite my setback, I don’t want be sad because I still want You, Hashem!” The sad and disappointed person shows that he’s only interested in his own self-aggrandizement.

Rebbe Nachman teaches us that a person must know how to act both in the “up” times of success and triumph as well as in the “down” times of failure and setback. He clings to Hashem and to his desire for Hashem no matter what. King David alludes to this in Psalm 139 when he says, “When I’m on top of the world, there You are, Hashem; and when I’m in the deepest abyss, here You are too!” One must know how to strengthen himself during times of difficulty, mainly by remembering that Hashem is right there with him.

In the “up” times, we shouldn’t be smug. Although we rejoice in our current situation, we must realize that there’s still much to do in the service of Hashem and we should strive to be even better. In the “down” times, we must strengthen our emuna that Hashem does everything for our ultimate benefit and he’s right there with us, wherever we are. In addition, we can always take comfort in the fact that no one can ever take our desire away from us.

Although we strive constantly for improvement, we thank Hashem for our current lot in life.

There is no limit to desire. We can always strengthen our desires and nothing can stand in our way. Although we can’t always accomplish what we want when we want, we can always desire. With desire, we’re not afraid of setbacks. Desire enables us to be happy no matter what.

Clearly, a person needs more self-strengthening during the “down” times than during the “up” times.

Some people learn about lofty spiritual levels and the great tzaddikim who attained them, and their hearts become ablaze in yearning for Hashem. They immediately want to make big changes in their behavior and appearance, but if they do so impetuously – without prayer, proper preparation and carefully-taken small steps to move forward – they could be making a tragic mistake. The holy Ariza’l teaches us that anything a person acquires without prayer is ultimately detrimental.

Spiritual gain requires slow steps forward with loads of accompanying prayer at each level. If a person is not happy at his current spiritual level, he’ll never make true progress, for at each higher level, the challenges are more difficult and it’s harder to be happy. One who thinks that he can be happy only after he attains perfection will never be happy! For that reason, we rejoice in every tiny blessing in life, no matter where we are on the spiritual ladder.

True success is not the external success of achievements that other people can see. True success is internal, particularly holding on to the desire to pray, to improve and to cling to Hashem even during times of setback and difficulty. If during the good times, a person fools himself into thinking how great he is, then he’ll suffer terribly as soon as he has a setback. That’s why it’s so important to know how to function both during times of success and during times of setbacks.

Rebbe Nachman writes, “When a person is happy all day long, he can easily set aside an hour when he pours his heart out to Hashem, but when he’s depressed, Heaven forbid, it is difficult for him to engage in personal prayer and to express himself…one must therefore strengthen himself to be happy always” (see Rebbe Nachman’s Discourses, 20).

Rebbe Nachman is teaching us that when a person is happy for 23 hours a day, then he can use the 24th hour to pour his heart out. By virtue of the hour a day of a broken heart, he can be happy for the other 23 hours. The evil inclination does its best to prevent us from being happy. Its prime weapon is negative thoughts that he’s not worth anything and that Hashem doesn’t care about his efforts or listen to his prayers. What lies! Evil thoughts come from the evil inclination. With joy and self-strengthening, we push them aside.

The holy Zohar tells us that not a single tiny bit of a good desire is ever lost. Hashem cherishes every tiny contemplation of teshuva and desire to improve. Every syllable of our prayers that we said since our first day on earth is carefully preserved in Hashem’s safe-deposit box. Our job is to strengthen ourselves constantly with prayer, teshuva from love and desire to get closer to Hashem. As such, the worst transgressions from our past become great mitzvot, as Resh Lakesh teaches us in Yoma 86. Remembering that there’s never despair in the world, we can always bounce back up whenever we’re down – that in itself is a huge reason to smile!