Love Heals

Translated by Rabbi Lazer Brody

A person who listens to my CDs has a son who fell into a difficult emotional situation. The boy began to have all sorts of fears. He acted in a disoriented manner and lost desire to go to school. His mother fought with him every morning to get up, get dressed and put on his shoes; every single step was a struggle to get the boy to move. By ten o’clock, they still hadn’t sent him off to school. This unbearable situation recurred every morning.

The parents took him to a psychiatrist who prescribed medication that basically destroyed their son’s life. He became even more nervous and emotionally difficult. The parents stopped the medication on their own initiative and switched from the psychiatrist to a psychologist, but to no avail. The latter tried to help according to his knowledge, but without any success. After months of work with the child, nothing helped. The child’s situation only continued to deteriorate.

During this entire period, the father, who follows my teachings, invested an hour daily in personal prayer, pleading for his child. Hashem instilled him with the idea to stop evaluating himself, but instead, to invest all his efforts in praying for his child.

And so, it began. Every morning, at 6:00 am, he’d come to the child, hug and kiss him, and tell him loving words, like “You are my beloved child, my light, come, and I’ll help you.” Every single morning, he woke the child, lavishing him with softness, love, and kind words. Soon, the child began to get up. In time, he got up early and became completely healthy, thanks to a loving father’s prayers, patience and encouragement.

Love is capable of healing a child from even the most difficult psychological ailments.

The above story is a shining example of parental love and dedication. The father sacrificed his own spirituality – his participation in a sunrise minyan and his pre-prayer Gemara learning – to give all his attention to his son. It’s important to point this out, because many times a father is pressured from his own life circumstances. Yet, saving one’s child jumps to the top of one’s priority list.

In these situations, generally speaking, a mother cannot deal. She is very busy in the morning with the other children and other preparations, and she does not have the same ability, or the patience, to give as the husband does. Therefore, it must be the father who needs to sacrifice for his child.

Even so, when I heard this story I was reminded of my mother, may she rest in peace, who was exceptional in this area. It’s unbelievable how Hashem can give such a giant heart to simple people who don’t even know how to read or write.

When we got up in the morning, everything was ready! Food was prepared for school, and the home clean and organized. There was no such thing that a child would leave for school without drinking or eating something. And the blessings she gave us! She’d heap upon our heads such good wishes that would accompany us all day! Endless warmth and love! That’s how our day started. Such a climate gives children strength and emotional health with no comparison.

From the above story, we learn that love heals. Rebbe Nachman asks, “Is there merit in belittling another person? There’s only merit in uplifting him!” When we see someone with a problem – a child, a friend, a spouse – do we jump on them and make things worse? Certainly not! Helping uplift them with warmth and love is what’s praiseworthy.

The approach of love and patience helps solve any problem, not just that of getting up in the morning. Sometimes, I’ll pray for a child for two weeks before I approach him to try and rectify something. I wait until an opportune time comes when I can approach the child with love, and I tell him a story or learn with him on the topic that he needs help in, and I see miracles!

There are many examples: a child who doesn’t pray well – when the right moment comes, I tell him a story of the power of prayer, of the virtue of praying with intent, and so forth. After that, he usually prays beautifully. With a lot of love and warmth, we can accomplish what rebuke cannot.