Something to Hold Onto

One of the nicest things about having children in seminary/yeshiva is that they share with me the Torah and life lessons they have learned there. It is such a blessing to be able to listen to them give over all the precious jewels of truth that they have discovered.

This is one of the treasures my daughter most recently shared with me. During a class the teacher spoke of the saying, “Holding on to (or hiding) behind their mother’s skirt.” The teacher pointed out with the changing fashions, there is less and less for the children to hold on to or to hide behind.

Fashions keep on changing. Hemlines have gone down to the floor and then back up again. Depending of the whims of designers and the norms of society, skirts have gone from maxi to micro-mini. But have we ever thought about how this affects our children?

When I would go shopping with my three little ones, as we would traipse up and down the aisles, looking for this or that, the children would cling to my skirt. This is how I trained them to shop with me. Sometimes I even had all three connected to my skirt, depending on whether or not there was a shopping cart for the youngest to ride in. After all, the shopping had to be done and I could not always hold their hands. Since I did not allow them to walk away from me, holding my skirt was our only option.

There were also times when we would go somewhere new and unfamiliar. Although my children were, for the most part, very outgoing, I would occasionally feel a gentle tug at my skirt. I would look down into one of my children’s wondering eyes peeking from behind their security blanket, my skirt. I would stroke their hair and smile at them, assuring them we were all fine.

Rebbe Nachman teaches that, “The clothing a person wears is indicative of his character” (Alef Bet book pg.40). What I wear as queen of my home and a daughter of the King, demonstrates who I am. It also gives my children something to hold on to – a tradition of faith and stability; a tradition of self love and respect. I teach my daughters and my son how a woman is supposed to dress. But now, I realize that it doesn’t end there. Modesty is much more than keeping myself lovely, respectable and properly covered. True modesty is rooted within my heart.

It is truly is up to us, dear ladies! We are the hearts of our homes. We are the ones who give the love of Judaism to our children and we are the ones who must give our beloved children something to hold on to, so they can be secure in this world.

I miss feeling that slight drag on my skirt knowing that my children were there with me. I hope that, with God’s help, I succeeded in giving my children something stronger than my skirt, and more stable than fluctuating hemlines – the ability to hold on to God and to His holy Torah.