25 Kislev 5778 / Wednesday, December 13, 2017 | Torah Reading: Mikeitz
dot  Add to favorites   dot  Set as homepage  
    Create an account    |    Sign in
    My Account     Orders History     Help
  My Country:  
  United States   
   My Currency:  
  US Dollar   
Home Page Breslev Judaism Society Family Spirituality and Faith Torah Portion Holidays and Fast Days
   Dating and Marriage     Children and Education     Breslev Kids     Health and Fitness             
Children and Education  
HomeFamilyChildren and EducationWhen Emuna Needs a Boost
  Advanced Search

When Emuna Needs a Boost    

When Emuna Needs a Boost

One can look back on his childhood abuse and genuinely believe that it happened for the best; it doesn’t mean that the effects of the abuse have miraculously disappeared…


Gratitude and emuna make any situation more bearable. Many times they can even make the situation enjoyable. But, sometimes there are things from our past that no amount of gratitude will erase. And they continue to taint our present and our future.


For example, an adult who was abused as a kid will certainly find much comfort by internalizing emuna, which only happens when a person says, “Thank You.” Emuna helps that adult understand that Hashem put him through some impossible situations that were necessary for his soul correction. Only Hashem knows why those situations were necessary, so emuna is the only thing we have to keep us from going insane or turning into bitter heretics.


But here’s where it gets tricky. Just because a person can look back on his childhood abuse and genuinely believe that it happened for the best, it doesn’t mean that the effects of the abuse have suddenly and miraculously disappeared. This person still has to learn and un-learn many things that happened as a result of his trauma, especially if it was ongoing abuse.


For example, if a boy was physically beaten by his father, and now he’s a father of a newborn, how does he know that he doesn’t have the tendency to beat his kid still lurking inside? When is he going to find out? After he hits his child for the first time? Then what? Will he seek therapy? Or will he just try harder not to do it next time? And when it happens again? What then?


And the cycle continues.


Here’s another example: a young girl was sexually abused for years, and as an adult, she learned and internalized the concepts of emuna and gratitude. Through much personal prayer and connecting to Hashem, she has been able to look back on her life and accept that it happened the way Hashem wanted it to. This, in itself, is already a tremendous accomplishment and she should be very proud of herself.

However, this same young woman has no intention of ever getting married and starting a family. I’m not saying that every woman needs to do this, but this is a natural desire that Hashem put in women, and for her to not desire this means that she is still not completely healed.


What about marital relationships that subconsciously remind the spouses of their parents? What if the husband had a difficult relationship with his mother, and now he sees his mother’s angry face every time his wife confronts him? Who is he arguing with? His wife or his mother?


And then, of course, there’s my personal favorite - exploding on your kid because he brings out the absolute worst in me you. I have one kid who just drives me insane, and not because he’s necessarily the most difficult of all of my children. For whatever reason, certain things he does instantly and subconsciously remind me of certain parts of my childhood that were not so wonderful. My reaction is a completely reactive and uncontrolled reflex, and unfortunately no amount of saying “Thank You” is going to remove those triggers. I will have to deal with them directly. Don’t worry, it’s on my bucket list, right under “Cruise through Europe.”


Now I am not saying that gratitude doesn’t work, G-d forbid! It absolutely does, and it’s the #1 Greatest Lifesaver of All Time! Every moment we can, we should focus on thanking Hashem for every little thing.


But, if there was a trauma that we suffered, or even just something that we’re still reacting to without being able to overcome our compelling reactions, then there is absolutely no reason not to seek therapy for these things.


Thank G-d, many people these days realize that we’re all completely messed up, and we need serious fixing. That’s great, because realizing you have a problem that you need to correct is a huge part of fixing it. In fact, admitting you need help is actually a sign that you are mature and aware of your flaws, and that you’re realistic about your limitations. This is wonderful and a sign of a strong and sharp mind.


Lucky for us, Breslev Israel has two of the best therapists in the entire world. And I’m not just saying that because I work with them! I know them both very well, and I can tell you that there is no one else that can combine years of experience as a therapist with such strong and prolific knowledge of emuna. These people live with emuna every second, and I can think of no better people that can make such a huge difference in your life in a short period of time.


If you’re constantly encountering a problem in your relationships, or within yourself, and you’re serious about fixing it, contact Aharon at staff@breslev.co.il and make an appointment with Dr. Zev Ballen or Rebbetzin Yehudit Channen. I promise you won’t regret it!


Now if only I can score me a little commission from these appointments...



* * *

Feel free to send Racheli your questions, particularly in the areas of marriage, dating, child-rearing and women's role; write her at racheli@breslev.co.il

New Comment    New Comment
   See More Articles By Racheli Reckles
   Read more about Children and Education

Top of article    Top of article       Email This Article    Email This Article          Share to Facebook       Print version    Print version

 Join the distribution list Join the distribution list
If you would like to receive other related articles or Breslev.co.il features via e-mail, please enter your e-mail address here:


 Related Articles Related Articles

Their Own Little World               Suicidal Children - Why?               Jealousy and Sibling Rivalry
 Their Own Little World  Suicidal Children - Why?  Jealousy and Sibling Rivalry

  4 Talkbacks for this article    See all talkbacks  
Racheli8/3/2017 3:58:09 PM
Racheli8/3/2017 3:57:14 PM
  Effects of abuse
Mir8/1/2017 11:14:15 AM
  Amazing job
Tzippy7/31/2017 6:41:29 PM

Add Your CommentAdd Your Comment    Add Your Comment    

In Honor of:    In Memory of:
   Bernard Schlamowitz-Yissachar ber
Like What You Read?
Help Breslev Israel spread the light of Rebbe Nachman
across the globe, and be a partner in making a better world.
Click here to support Breslev.co.il
 Products of the Day Products of the Day
Back  1 2 3  Next
Back  1 2 3  Next
 Most talked about Most talked about
Up  1 2 3  Down
 Most read Most read
Up  1 2 3  Down
 Facebook Facebook
 Mailing List Mailing List
Subscribe Here:   


open toolbar