Always on Time

The daughter of an old friend of mine is getting married. She's the same age as my own daughter, which means she's edging towards thirty. I have been to so many weddings lately but my sincere joy for the couple is always tinged with some longing of my own. I admit it.

If I didn't have emuna I would be in bad shape. It's been nearly twelve years since Shani had sudden cardiac arrest and she’s doing great, but having a defibrillator implant makes it harder for her to get married, or so it seems. People hear the word defibrillator and back away, some with less tack than others.

And I get that. Like all parents I prefer my children marry healthy people; life is tough enough without possible health issues to contend with.

But the real truth (not the fake truth) is that Hashem runs the show and even the healthiest person can end up waiting years to get married. Hashem has all our lives choreographed, with a cast of characters created especially for us, as we play out our unique roles in this sitcom called life. It's your very own reality show brought to you by your Heavenly Sponsor.

One of my daughters married a man, whose aunt was once in love with a cancer survivor. She desperately wanted to marry him but her parents refused to allow it.

“We don't want you playing nurse your whole life,” they told her. “It will be enough just raising children and who knows if and when the cancer will return.”

The couple ended things and a few years later the aunt met another young man, who was very nice and perfectly healthy. Her parents approved, the marriage took place and during the week of sheva brachas the new chassan got hit by a speeding taxi. It was such a shocking story that it was all over the news. The young chassan was seriously injured and never fully recovered. From then on he has used a walker and has great difficulty speaking. I know because I have met him. A very special man. But the story gets me thinking…

I have a friend, Chana, who went to England to work as a nanny for the children of a very ill woman. At first my young friend was afraid to take the job, it sounded so sad and scary. But after we spoke, she decided to do it. Chana flew to England, and became very close to the dying mother. A year after the young mother passed away, my friend married the widower. Today they have children of their own. The husband, Rabbi Rosenblatt, wrote a beautiful book about it.

Hashem is the consummate matchmaker! He sets all His pieces in place to get the results He desires.

I have seen the most beautiful girls wait years for the right one while other, plain looking girls get married soon after high school. It's not a beauty contest.

I know such a sweet woman named Rachel, who was twenty-eight when she finally became engaged, after years of “fruitless” dating. What happened was that her downstairs neighbor had a barbecue in his backyard with some old buddies from his yeshiva. The host got into a playful wrestling match with his friend Jake. Jake managed to wrestle the host to the ground, where he lay panting on his back staring up at the porch of my friend Rachel, who he knew was looking to get married.

The neighbor said, “Hey Jake, do I have a girl for you!”

Rachel and Jake were married a few months later. I heard this story first hand.

I also know a married couple who met on an airplane. I know a woman whose son and daughter-in-law fixed her up with their kid's pediatrician! She had been divorced for many years and the kids decided she would be a perfect match for the doctor. She was!

I know a happily married couple where the husband is fourteen years older than the wife and I know a couple where the wife is eight years older than the husband.

I know someone who was married three times before he got the message that he needed to work on himself. He got into therapy and lost well over a hundred pounds. Today he looks great and seems very happy with his fourth wife and new baby.

My husband had a student who is wheelchair bound and unable to speak clearly. At the age of forty this man married a woman who is also in a wheelchair and their wedding was so inspiring that it went viral on the net. I have never seen a happier couple! I can only imagine their level of appreciation for what so many of us take for granted. Getting married! It's such a miracle when Hashem gives you the person you need to become the ultimate you!

I have faith that my daughter will get married. She has everything she needs to be a good wife and a loving mother. The day will come when Hashem sends the right man her way. My job is to keep praying, keep positive and keep remembering that Hashem runs the show. And in my humble opinion, it can be one heck of a performance!

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Rebbitzen Yehudit Channen is a certified Emuna Therapist for Breslev Israel. You can set up an appointment with her by contacting staff@breslev.co.il