Bye, Bye, Brangelina

I’m about to cry. I’m totally devastated. My husband just broke the news to me of Brad and Angelina’s split. When he told me, I happened to be driving and I nearly drove off the road. That might have been because my jaw hung so low that I almost ate the steering wheel. I was beyond shocked, to say the least. Even though I haven’t been in the Hollywood loop for some time now, I still had a special place in my heart for those two. They were just so darn good looking.

But now, it seems the honeymoon is over. As far as I could tell from my extensive research, they had been on the rocks, and she suddenly blindsided him with divorce papers from her attorney. She refused to allow him to see his kids, and wants sole physical custody of the children. Whatever her reasons were, they’re not relevant to the point of this article. What I would like to explore is what’s going on from a more “spiritual” standpoint.

In order to do this, I must first remind my fellow Brad Pitt fans of his marriage to Jennifer Aniston. They were such a cute couple; they had just the right balance of sweet and sexy. I vividly remember reading tabloid after tabloid of Jen saying that one day they will have children. We all know that they didn’t end up having kids together, but whether or not this was the reason for their split, in the end it’s also not important.

So what is important?

If my star-obsessed memory is correct, didn’t Brad leave Jen for a certain someone? Weren’t there rumors during the filming of Brad and Angelina’s first movie together, saying that they were a couple? I can’t say for certain, but let’s assume that the rumors were correct. BTW, does this count as lashon hara, since it’s common knowledge? Anyhow, let’s assume that he divorced Jen after he fell in love with Angie. Let’s also assume that this is not lashon hara.

And this leads me to my first point: he cheated on his wife. Oops, I mean supposedly. Why in the world did he think that he deserved a better woman? He was married to the woman Hashem gave him; what gave him the right to go looking for another woman while he was still married?

Talk about a warped sense of entitlement.

Next point: karma ain’t pretty. I’ve heard worse sayings, but obviously I can’t print them on our site. In the end, what goes around, comes around. It doesn’t have to be exactly the same thing, but it definitely is the same thing. Does that make sense? Brad betrayed his wife, Jen, and in the end, his wife, Angelina, betrayed him.

Let this be a lesson to all you cheaters out there. In the end, you have no basis to believe that you deserve better, and one day you will have to face the consequences of what you did. Cheating is one of the quintessential examples of an anti-emuna mentality. Not only do you think that Hashem isn’t watching, but you think that you can get away with hurting another. Also, you believe that you deserve better than the spouse Hashem gave you, so you feel justified in cheating on them. Furthermore, you are too wrapped up in your extreme selfishness to think about the traumatic consequences you will create for your children, who will have to suffer through your bloody divorce and then deal with their numerous mental and emotional issues that you created through your infidelity.

On top of that, you believe you deserve a life filled with Bentleys and million-dollar mansions, even though you may have destroyed your family’s life and have no money in the bank.

For all of you that were the cheat-ees (is that a word?), take heart. Hashem did you the best favor in the world by separating you from such a person. Do you really want to be with a person that has no consideration for you whatsoever? You deserve better! Hashem knows that; all you have to do is realize that, too.

Now that I’ve made many of our readers cry, I’ll try and end this on a positive note. For the cheaters, I have three words for you. Teshuva, teshuva, teshuva. Read The Garden of Peace ASAP. Do your best to obtain the forgiveness of your ex, even if you’re no longer together. If they are still with you, you should kiss the ground they walk on for the rest of your life. Therapy, whether couple’s or personal, is definitely in order. Cheating is usually a sign of something very wrong, whether within the person or within the relationship. Many times it’s both. The cause needs to be dealt with, even if the relationship is long over.

Now back to my broken heart. There is something I will never understand, even though I kind of know the answer already. With all the money, the gorgeous looks, the glamour, the traveling, the hired help – they still couldn’t manage to get along??? Can somebody please explain this to me?

It just proves the old saying true: “Money don’t buy u and yo’ spouse no happiness.” And let’s not forget the famous Talmudic phrase: “Mo’ money, mo’ problems.” And what about, “If you’z gonna break someone else’s heart, don’t u be actin’ all suprized when yo’ heart get broken.” And I can’t forget my all-time favorite: “Homey don’t play dat.”

Bye, bye, Brangelina. I’ll miss you.