TIVNEH ARMON – Build a Palace

Translator’s Note: As is very common, Rabbi Arush speaks in the masculine, in this case, a husband to his wife. However, he comments here and there in his lectures, that he is always speaking to both sides, even though he only mentions one. 

A husband comes home from the dentist and says to his wife, “What a dentist I have! Even he recognizes that I need a crown. He knows that I am a King!” If you want to be a King – then make sure that you make your wife a Queen! This is the work. A husband’s main job is to honor his wife.  

Who is honored? What might you answer? Someone that everyone honors him? 

No. Who is honored? Someone who honors everyone else. Someone who knows how to honor others – he is the one who is truly honored! 

Such a person knows just how important it is to honor other people. 

Moreover, we act the way that we actually are. Therefore, someone who understands how important honor is – not because he loves honor – but because he understands how critical this is – is someone who truly has honor. 

This is especially true of husband and wife. It is constantly written, “The husband must honor his wife.” Why? Because this is the simple reality! A wife needs her husband, and desperately needs her husband to honor her. She needs her husband’s warmth and love. She really needs you. 

Therefore, you need to really work on this. To work on this means – to pray about it. Say, “Master of the World, Father in Heaven, help me. Have mercy on me, and enable me to make my wife happy and honor her properly. Pray on this every single day. You need to pray a lot that your relationship with your wife should be good for both of you. 

Most people make a big mistake. They think, “What can I do?” It’s true – you really cannot do anything. But you can request that the King should help you – this is something you CAN do. This is what most people lack – to request what they need – on everything they need! 

Actually succeeding to honor your wife is very difficult, because the Evil Inclination wants to destroy homes. So, ask G-d to help you: “Hashem, give me the strength, enable me to only honor her, only make her happy, only treat her with love and respect.” 

It should be Hashem’s will that everyone should honor each other, and every home should be like a palace, where everyone is treated like royalty! Amen!