A Woman’s Luck – Part 2

Continued from A Woman's Luck, Part 1

At the conclusion of last week’s story, my wife, Sarah found a fantastic job for an old friend of ours, Eli (name changed) who had been living unemployed in Israel for nearly 10 years. My wife is almost always looking for ways to help people, and always seems to be in the center of miraculous events, but this was one of the more open miracles that I’ve seen her involved in. Eli was knee-high in debt, depressed and had all but given up – it was only due to Sarah’s persistent nudging him to send his resume to a particular company that he landed the job of his dreams.

Meanwhile Yossie, our autistic son was decompensating at home. It was becoming increasingly difficult for us to take care of him. It became obvious that Yossie needed much more help than we could provide for him at home.

We sat down with Yossie and asked him how he felt about moving to a group home where he could do more of the activities that he enjoys every day like swimming, art and music? We saw that he was genuinely excited to go. We felt hurt that Yossie didn’t want to live with us anymore – but we knew that he still loved us.  Hashem had helped Yossie to realize that he would have a better quality of life in a group home that was better geared to his needs.

Sarah called the number that Eli’s wife Leah had given her a few years ago and spoke with Rachel the owner of the home who had been a customer of Leah’s. Rachel told Sarah that there was only one bed left in the group home and there was a lot of “competition” for that bed. She said that she couldn’t take Yossie into her home because the Department of Social Services had a three-year waiting list. We hadn’t realized just how many families of young autistic men in Israel were also looking for a group home for their sons.

We were very discouraged. Just when we finally worked up the emotional and spiritual strength to “let go” and trust Hashem with Yossie as well as trust Hashem with the money that Yossie’s “disability” check brought into our home, we hit a brick wall.

Sarah and I went to Social Services Office, spoke to a Social Worker, and got onto the waiting list for a group home for Yossie. The social worker was very nice but she couldn’t promise that Yossie would be placed in a home in less than three years. She nevertheless gave us permission to visit Rachel’s home to see what a group home looks like. I couldn’t understand why they would allow us to visit a place that Yossie obviously was not going to get into – what if we really liked the place – it would be such a disappointment. We decided to go anyway. At least we would get an “education” about what these places were like.

Wouldn’t you know that this home turned out to be gorgeous! Not only were the staff all hand-picked dedicated people but the environment was simply beautiful. It was a huge house with a big fenced in backyard and courtyard in the front. There was a basketball court, a pool, a beautiful dining room where the boys had Shabbos meals together; the young men each had their own room and terrace. Most of them even had their own bathrooms. The whole house was beautifully decorated and immaculate!

During the visit, the owner, Rachel who is very particular about who she accepts into her group home was very nice and friendly to Yossie. She was trying her best to make him feel comfortable and see if he would fit in.  She offered him food and a drink and asked if there was anything else that he wanted. Yossie just smiled and said “Can I have a hug?” I’m not sure what happened in that moment. Yossie said this with such warmth and innocence. Anyone with an autistic kid knows that there isn’t even an ounce of guile in them.  It wasn’t typical of Yossie to ask a stranger for a hug, but he said this in such a way that it brought tears to Rachel’s eyes. It was a moving scene, but now it was time to leave. It was really painful knowing that Yossie would be very happy in Rachel’s home but that he had no chance of getting in.  Not only was Rachel very particular but there was that three-year waiting list to deal with.

A few weeks later we received a call from the government social worker that they wanted to evaluate Yossie for placement in Rachel’s home. We were floored by Hashem’s kindness. We didn’t ask any questions. We were ushered through the bureaucratic process practically overnight. An experienced staff worker at the group home who had worked there for twenty years told us that he never saw anything like this happen before. The social worker, her supervisor, Rachel and her husband, the staff of the home all fell in love with our son. He now lives with his new “family” and comes home to us for Shabbos once a month. We are free to visit him and take him home anytime we want. We also take him home for the holidays.

Our sages teach (Talmud, Shabbos 62) that women are like a “separate nation.” They have certain positive character traits that most men lack. When Hashem saw that men would never be able to make it on their own He created women. (Women’s Wisdom, p. 179).

This was a story about three great women – each one did for the other. Leah had Sarah in mind for a home for Yossie when she spoke with her customer, Rachel. Sarah had Leah in mind when she found a job for Leah’s husband, Eli. Leah provided a very good professional service to Rachel and Rachel reciprocated by praying for Yossie to be admitted into her home despite a three year waiting list (she was so moved by him that she asked us for his full Jewish name).

Sarah has been Yossi’s greatest asset all of his life. Her prayers and her tireless devotion to him have moved one mountain of obstacles and prejudice after another. Hashem said: “It is not good that man is alone; I shall make him a helpmate…” (Genesis 2:18) In Sarah’s case, she is not only the power and mazal behind every one of my accomplishments, but she is the mazal of all of our children as well.

This story shows the greatness and the superiority of women.  I have no doubt that the day I tell you a similar story about men, the Messiah will already have come. It’s no wonder that our sages called women “a separate nation.”