What Men Want

Dear Racheli,

I don’t understand guys. It seems like every time I’m intimate with a potential boyfriend, who I thought was actually genuine, he runs away two seconds later. What’s the problem? It happened again with the last guy I dated. He couldn’t stop chasing me, but as soon as he had me… he ran away! Are men bipolar?

Laurie

Laurie,

Yes. Men are bipolar.

And women still have a lot to learn about this “human” species that we refer to as man. I think it would be more appropriate to call them “Manimals” because they’re so much of both.

Genius, right?!

Okay, so let’s talk about what men want. In order to do that, we need to look past the obvious.

Yes, it’s true, Laurie! Men want more than “love.” They also want power, glory, money, dominance, and the freedom to watch unlimited sports.

But here’s the crazy thing.

There’s something else, something much more important beyond all that superficial stuff, that they want.

And whaddayaknow.

They don’t even realize it.

Yes, you. Man out there. You don’t even know what it is you want. And if you do, and you can prove that you knew the answer before you read the rest of this article, I’ll send you one of my kids’ Hot Wheels Lamborghinis.

So!

What is it?

Well, Laurie, you touched on it when you mentioned this pattern you were going through. Not surprisingly, many single women suffer from this same perplexing problem. Like, didn’t the guy just want you so badly a minute ago? Wasn’t he promising you the world?

And then he gets what he thought he wanted – your body – and… poof!

He disappears.

It’s magic, I tell you.

Now that I’ve described 99.9% of the male so-called human species, I’ll answer your question with an example.

Laurie, think about something you wanted really, really bad. Try to bring back those feelings of, “OMG if I don’t get this new pair of shoes that’s on sale, I’m going to go crazy! I need those shoes to survive!” Forget that you already have that same pair in six other colors.

Finally, you give in and get the shoes. And you wear them with excitement. (If you ever get around to wearing them at all.)

But what happens a short while later?

You’re over them. You may still like them and wear them, but they’re just not exciting for you anymore. Before long, you’ll be on the quest for a new pair of shoes.

OMG did I just describe every human alive? YESSSS.

Laurie, can you see the parallel?

I’m about to solve the female’s species most perplexing question ever, so…

Drumroll, please….

Men. Want. A CHALLENGE!!

If I knew how to put some fireworks and applause right here, believe me I would.

They want a challenge! Ya hear?

Men don’t want the easy girls. I mean, they do, but not for relationship purposes.

Men love to chase girls, and the harder the girl is to get, the more the guy wants her.

Again, I believe that this can be traced to the fact that men are really manimals, and we all know animals love a good chase. No animal goes to the supermarket for his dinner.

Animals display their dominance and power through overtaking their prey. (And their enemy, but that’s another story.)

Guess what, Laurie! So do men!

Men, with their hairy chests and stinky underarms, love a good challenge!

So if you’ve taken away their fun by giving them what they want, where’s the challenge?

If there’s no challenge, you turn into the bony carcass that the other animals have left behind after they’ve devoured all the meat. The scavengers come over for their last scraps, but no one’s interested any more.

Now before all you manimals write me off as a man-hater and report me to PETA, I do have something to say in your defense.

You can’t help being the way you are. That’s how Hashem created you.

In truth, all of us were created with the desire for a challenge. In fact, it’s a spiritual law.

The only way we appreciate anything is through overcoming a challenge. The harder we work for it, the more we appreciate it.

That means that all you ladies out there need to use this spiritual law to your advantage. If you want a man to take you seriously, make him chase you all the way to the chuppah

.

And then some.

Laurie, if you follow this priceless advice that I should have charged you for, I am confident you will find a guy who will appreciate all of you – not just your body. And fyi: If you decide to make me the Guest of Honor at your wedding, I certainly won’t stop you.

Blessings,

Racheli

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Feel free to send Racheli your questions, particularly in the areas of marriage, dating, child-rearing and women’s role; write her at racheli@breslev.co.il