The Spiritual Boost

There is a group of people who suffers from severe neglect. Each day they slave away at their jobs, which are complicated and multi-faceted, yet their efforts go largely unnoticed. They rarely get any accolades for their hard work, nor do they enjoy equal reciprocation. They are unsung heroes, the foundations upon which the lives of those around them are able to flourish. Without them, the world as we know it would cease to function. Who are they?

WOMEN.

As a woman, you juggle many people’s lives at once, especially if you’re a mother. You’re the chef, the chauffeur, the maid, the personal shopper, the homework-helper, the accountant, the dishwasher, the toilet cleaner, and the human laundry machine, capable of washing, folding, and ironing 6loads at the same time! It’s a miracle women weren’t created with 8 arms, because we can do an impossible number of things and still manage to keep our sanity (somewhat).

However, there is one area that many women, myself included, fail miserably at: we forget to take care of ourselves. Our day-to-day lives are so busy, by the time we realize we haven’t even eaten yet, the kids might be coming home from school already! There are so many days that I literally forget to eat; the only way I remember is when I start fading out and almost faint from hunger.

Today my husband took my older three boys for an outing (miracle of miracles), and I was home with the baby. Instead of running to get the house in order like I normally would have, I had to force myself to do somethingfor myself. So I did what any (ab)normal woman would do- I actually sat down and enjoyed a cup of coffee on the couch while reading “Rebbe Nachman’s Wisdom.”

I’m still trying to get over the guilt…

Seriously, though, why is putting ourselves last such a common phenomenon with us women? I really don’t know. Is it our upbringing? Or are we naturally programmed to put everyone else, including people we barely know, first? Why is it that our needs are usually met last?

Back to this whole foundation thing- here’s something I recently found out. In Hebrew, the words used for “housewife” are Akeret Bayit. The literal translation is not housewife at all. The word akeret comes from the root ikar, which means “primary” or “main”. Thus, the term refers to the woman as the primary driving force of the home. Contrary to popular belief, Judaism views women as the head of the family. She is not only the foundation, but the crowning glory as well.

I don’t know about you ladies, but many times I feel like more of a slave than the queen of the house! It’s hard to feel like royalty when my sleeves are dripping with dish soap and my clothes are covered with every stain imaginable. I’m pretty sure real queens don’t tilt like the Leaning Tower of Pisa when they walk, as a result of carrying their babies on their hips 20 hours a day.  And I don’t recall seeing calluses or cracks on any queen’s hands, unlike my own “migrant worker hands”, as someone once told me.

Nonetheless, women have an inborn royal status- a spiritual birthright. The two main problems are: most of us don’t realize this fact, and if we do, we may not know what to do about it. I think that much of the pampering we attempt to do for ourselves stems from this hidden knowledge. We try to somehow present the image of royalty that our essence is connected to, but the effects are short-lived.

For example, a new haircut or a massage is a great way to brighten up our day. The problem is that aside from a few hours of feeling renewed and rejuvenated, we quickly revert back to “Cinderella after midnight” status. The relaxing facial might put a glow on our skin, but that glow quickly disappears when return to a chaotic house full of screaming kids (and angry husbands).

So is there a way we can give ourselves the attention we need, and make it last? I came up with an interesting idea: why not combine the pampering with a spiritual boost as well? Here’s the plan- pick one day a month that will be your day. Mark it on your calendar! Pick something that you’d really love to do; something that you rarely get the chance to do. Maybe it’s going to the beach at sunset. Maybe it’s going for a run. Maybe it’s just taking an hour out of your day to enjoy a relaxing cup of coffee and doing nothing.

Okay, so you’ve got the pampering part down. What’s next? The spiritual boost! I can say without a doubt that there is one thing that will give you a pick-up like nothing else: talking to G-d. It’s the best way to unburden yourself of the supertanker-load of thoughts and emotions that you’re carrying around every day. It’s also a great way to get clarification on things that are stressing you out. But the best part is that you’ll develop a relationship with G-d. He will be your Best Friend; always there for you with a listening, unbiased ear. He will also help you get through your challenges in ways you never might have expected. You will grow infinitely through this friendship.

Dear women, you are deserving of every blessing for your daily efforts and hard work. I am confident that if you make your day of pampering a physical and spiritual one, your smile and glow will last through the week!