The Price of a Lollipop

Most people are like little children with a wad of hundred-dollar bills in their hands; they trade all their money to a swindler who gives them a lollipop...

3 min

Rabbi Shalom Arush

Posted on 12.06.23

The holy Kabbalist Rabbi Yitzchak Kadouri of saintly and blessed memory described the evil inclination’s ploy of sidetracking a person from attaining personal holiness, saying that the evil inclination will give a person a small gain in order to perpetuate a big loss. He said that most people are like little children with a wad of hundred-dollar bills in their hands; they trade all their money to a swindler who gives them a lollipop.

In like manner, the vast majority of modern society doesn’t realize that it is giving away a person’s dearest asset – personal holiness – for the price of a few cheap and vulgar thrills. Our personal holiness is the wad of hundred-dollar bills and the evil inclination is the master swindler. The lollipop is sexual lust, seemingly sweet but ultimately detrimental.

Torah and mitzvot are no more than small change when a person still hasn’t done anything to improve his personal holiness. Yet, with personal holiness, Torah and mitzvot are priceless. Rabbi Yaacov Abuchatzera writes (Ginzei HaMelech, pg. 119) that Torah and mitzvot are virtually worthless when learned and performed by a person with blemished personal holiness.

The evil inclination will allow a person to be exacting and stringent in his mitzva observance so that he’ll feel good about himself. But, in the area of personal holiness, the evil inclination is a master anesthesiologist. He places a person in a deep spiritual slumber where he loses all sensitivity to personal holiness. Such a person can walk with his eyes wide open on a crowded street, looking at every female passerby and thinking that he’s doing nothing wrong.

If a person doesn’t realize that personal holiness is his main soul correction on this earth, then the evil inclination doesn’t fight him in other areas. The evil inclination (EI) has no problem letting such a person learn all the Torah and perform all the mitzvot that he wants. The EI will even let him succeed, considering himself a scholar or an upright bulwark of the community, just as long as he continues to neglect his main task in life – overcoming sexual lust and striving for personal holiness.

Torah and mitzvot assume their true value only after a person begins the struggle for modesty and personal holiness. Without personal holiness, Torah and mitzvot become fodder for the sitra achra, the spiritual dark side of evil, Heaven forbid.

The root of all sin is the lust for women that totally controls a person’s mind and heart. The eyes are the portal to the mind and heart, so as long as a person fails to guard his eyes, his mind and heart continue to be contaminated with images of woman, adding fuel to the fire of lust. How can one attain personal holiness if his heart and mind are endlessly burning in the fires of sexual lust? Remember, guarded eyes are closed eyes, for if the eyes are open, one has no control over what they see.

On the other hand, once a person guards his eyes, the path to personal holiness becomes much easier. Void of forbidden images, one’s heart is free to yearn for Hashem and desire holiness. Such a person thoroughly enjoys prayer, Torah learning and mitzva observance. He attains both complete teshuva and personal holiness.

Consequently, personal holiness begins with guarding the eyes. We must all internalize this critically important concept, for both holiness and success in life depend on guarding our eyes.

People often ask me what’s the most important thing they must pray for: my answer is, first of all, pray that you should be able to guard your eyes. As long as a person transgresses the Ten Commandments on a daily basis, he should be praying that Hashem help him to stop trampling his Judaism, his emuna and the very foundation of his welfare; in other words, he should be seeking Hashem’s help in guarding his eyes.

What does one gain by ignoring the need to guard his eyes? More trash in his brain and more lewd thoughts in his heart? Like a computer, a person has a given memory capacity. How will he justify to Hashem that he wasted his power of memory on lewd images?

Here is a partial list of what one loses by failing to guard his eyes:

    • Joy in life – where there’s no joy, one is prone to negative emotions
    • Holiness – without it, one has little desire for prayer
    • Connection with Hashem – one forfeits Divine abundance, both material and spiritual
    • Wisdom – lust destroys a person’s sound judgment
    • Memory – forbidden images dominate one’s memory
    • Torah – one cannot merit the truth of Torah without guarding his eyes
    • Single people who fail to guard their eyes are in danger of losing their soul mate
    • Married people who fail to guard their eyes suffer from their wives
    • Those who fail to guard their eyes are much more prone to spilling their seed in vain; as such, they either lose their children or they have brazen children with severe disciplinary problems
    • One’s income suffers
    • Worst of all, one’s mind and heart are filled with forbidden images that rob a person of inner peace

Is it worth it? Do you still think that guarding your eyes is for prudes? With the above partial list in mind, guarding one’s eyes is a prerequisite for basic survival. Don’t sell your good life for the price of a lollipop.

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