Don’t Push It!

Pushing too hard to end a seemingly uncomfortable situation, especially if we’ve tried many things that do not seem to yield measurable results, usually indicate that Hashem wants us to accept His will and strengthen our emuna that the situation is for the best and for a purpose. He wants us to turn to Him and to trust Him through prayer and daily self-assessment.

The principle I needed to remember is that when we are faced with a challenge and feel we need to resolve the situation according to our time frame instead of Divine timing, our first thought must be to turn to Hashem for guidance by way of hitbodedut (personal prayer). It is often best not to rush to enlist the help of a human intermediary unless the conditions warrant it, such as when one happens to show up at precisely the right moment, indicating Hashem sent a messenger. This is particularly true when the challenge is really not about us but about someone we care about. We can only change ourselves not the situation, so we may need to let go and let G-d.

For me personally, I probably got in Hashem’s way by pushing too hard. I wanted my youngest adult son to come closer to Hashem and learn to apply some important spiritual truths. I enlisted the help of a mentor, and my son agreed to my idea. I built up a great deal of confidence around this approach. I had constructed an elaborate plan in my mind that I hoped he would follow and although he agreed to work with this person, the contrived arrangement did not work out so well. The approach the mentor used turned out to be harsh and critical, and the whole thing blew up in smoke. Several things I had tried prior to this also seemed logical at the time but did not result in positive change. I immediately thanked Hashem for reminding me to turn to Him first. Upon introspection, I recalled passages from Psalms that helped me. They are listed below:

Psalm 146:3 – “Do not place your trust [hope] in nobles nor in mortal man who has not the ability to bring deliverance.”

Psalm 118: 8 – “It is better to rely on the L-rd than to trust in man.”

Psalm 121: 1-2 – “I lift my eyes to the mountains—from where will my help come? My help will come from the L-rd, Maker of heaven and earth.”

I also remembered Rav Brody’s advice that when we have a problem, rather than try to solve it with logic, first turn to Hashem for help. Rav Brody advises that instead of telling Hashem how big our problems are we must tell our problems how big Hashem is. Especially when we implement Rav Shalom Arush’s advice and pray for all of Am Yisrael to return to the Almighty, then the answers come easier.

Hashem had a plan for me when He placed me in a home in which Judaism was not practiced, and He had a plan to bring me back. Therefore, I need to trust that He also has a plan for my children. Spiritual strengthening and emuna are my only recourse, and the sooner I live that truth the better. Hashem runs the show, and His wisdom far surpasses our own. Strengthening our emuna is the path to tranquility and peace of mind.

When we get in His way, we only delay the process.  When we keep the channels of connection to Hashem open and do not despair when we feel our prayers are not being answered as quickly as we’d like, the only effort needed is to strengthen our emuna. We do this by talking and praying to Hashem and by remembering that He loves us and that He will bring salvation and an outcome that is perfect for us when the time is right. Thank you Hashem for providing the lesson I needed—one I hopefully will not forget again. Pushing never works. We try our best and let Hashem do the rest!