Saved at the Last Minute
The woman ceased speaking, and her husband went on with the story. He had been thrown from the car, as if a hidden hand had pulled him out at the last minute...
Translated by Esther Cameron
Light at The End of The Cave, Part 3
Yossi began to obtain and read books about Judaism, searching for the truth. At night, when he could not sleep, he read stories about the Baal Shem Tov.
Everything was still vague. He hesitated, sat on the fence. He did not know what he should do. One of his acquaintances noticed his perplexity and suggested that he attend a seminar at “Arachim” with his family in order to sort things out. Yossi thought to himself: you’re not being objective, you don’t know the other side at all, you must check it out before deciding how to go on.
When he made the announcement that he wanted to go to a seminar, his family — especially his seventeen -year-old son, who was living on Kibbutz Metsuvah in the north — were vehemently opposed: “What?! You want to make baalei teshuvah out of us?!”
“No, I just want five days to get some rest and sort things out for myself. There are lectures, interesting talks… Whoever wants to listen can listen and whoever doesn’t want to listen can go to the heated pool as far as I’m concerned… I’m simply not at peace and I have to see what it’s about… You don’t have to worry, they told me that there would be secular families there who dress and act just like us…”
In the end the whole family went to the hotel in Natanya. When they arrived, they were dismayed to see a group of men dressed in black, with ties and black hats. Oh no, we’re in Bnei Brak… After that the secular hosts arrived, and the family felt a bit more at ease. They decided together that if they did not feel comfortable they would leave in the middle of the seminar.
The lectures began. They were interesting, impressive, with fascinating questions and answers. The guests, including Yossi’s family, were excited to discover the treasures of Judaism. Only Yossi was indifferent. Everything went in one ear and out the other. Nothing went to his heart. He said to himself: how is this possible? When I was at home, I felt more strengthened, and now, with all these fascinating lectures, I don’t feel anything?…
In the course of the seminar the guests began to take upon themselves the yoke of the Kingdom of Heaven. Tsitsiyot began appearing here and there, the heads of men and boys sprouted kippot, scarves were tied carelessly on the heads of a few women, but with Yossi nothing happened. He felt completely closed. On Shabbat he even smoked as was his habit.
At the end of the seminar, at the close of the Sabbath, the eighth candle of Hanukkah, there was to be a final symposium. Yossi felt that he was not interested in remaining and suggested to his wife that they return home before that. Now the roles were switched, and his wife argued with him: “I’m surprised at you, you brought us here and now you want to run away before the end… I want to keep Torah and mitzvot, and you’re outside…”
Yossi went out onto the wide porch outside the auditorium, under the vault of the sky, he lifted up his eyes in sorrow to the darkened height, which was mostly clouded over, with only a few stars showing. He said with a broken heart:
“Master of the Universe, I have come to continue the way that had already opened before me, I came hoping to be strengthened, why am I blocked, why have I run into complete darkness?… Show me a bit of light, let me understand what is happening here…”
He returned to the auditorium and then one of the organizers turned to him: “Get ready… In a few minutes you’re going up on stage…”
“I go up on stage?! Sorry, I have nothing to say!”
“You’re a diver… you must have something special to tell us…”
“Listen, buddy, you’re wasting your time. Do me a favor, try someone else, but leave me out of it…”
The organizer tried to plead with Yossi, but without success.
Toward the end of the symposium, a young couple who had taken part in the seminar got up on stage. The woman was handicapped in walking; at each of the lectures a comfortable chair had been provided for her. It was clear that she had been through some kind of accident. When she got on stage, she began to tell her story.
A short time ago they had been living in Petach Tikvah with two small children, very far from Judaism. One day the husband came home and solemnly announced to his wife: “From now on I want to keep Shabbat!”
“Shabbat?! What on earth are you talking about?!…”
The husband did not know where the awakening to keep Shabbat — that is, to say kiddush over wine, not to drive and not to light fires — had come from. It was the beginning of constant fights and arguments between them, till their life seemed to be on the rocks. The wife admitted that she was the type of person who does things on purpose to annoy. When he said kiddush on Shabbat, she would deliberately fix a salami and cheese sandwich, or turn the television on full blast. Nothing helped. He stuck by his guns and she by hers.
In a last attempt to close the gap that had widened between them, she agreed to attend an “Arakhim” seminar, and then decide where to go from there. They left the children with the grandparents and set out.
In the course of the seminar the wife’s tension increased, until on Shabbat afternoon she decided to leave immediately, before Shabbat was over. The husband tried to reason with her: “It’s a shame, in two more hours Shabbat will be over. Let’s just wait a little while, and then we can leave.”
“We are leaving this minute! If you don’t come with me, I’m leaving you!”
The husband hesitated. Then, seeing that she was determined, he said: “All right, I’m going with you, but the responsibility falls on you!”
“I don’t care about anything… We’re leaving now!”
They settled accounts with the hotel clerk, packed their things, got into the car and drove off, with the husband at the wheel.
The wife continued her story, weeping:
At the country club junction a Peugeot truck came rushing along at 70 miles an hour, plowed into our car and smashed it completely –
Tears flowed from Yossi’s eyes, after he had been indifferent to everything else that happened at the seminar. The woman ceased speaking, and her husband went on with the story. He had been thrown from the car, as if a hidden hand had pulled him out at the last minute. He found himself standing outside in his Sabbath clothes, clean and neat…
The police car and ambulance arrived immediately. The policemen shouted: “Where’s the driver?”
“I’m the driver!”
The policeman looked at the overturned crushed car and exclaimed in astonishment: “That’s impossible!”
“I’m the driver, and my wife is in the car. Get her out quickly!”
Then the fire truck arrived. The firemen sawed open the car and extricated the pinned and gravely injured woman. They rushed her to the hospital, where she underwent a series of operations while hooked up to various machines and tubes. She suffered hellish pain which the painkillers barely relieved. Thus several months of suffering passed in the hospital.
As the couple told their story, Yossi’s emotion grew. He could not restrain a flood of tears.
The woman had stopped crying and continued the story. One Friday, just before the beginning of the Sabbath, she was in great pain, waiting for another operation that was scheduled to take place on the following Sunday.
A man with a beard and a dignified appearance entered her room: “Why are you crying, my daughter? In a little while it will be Shabbat, and it is forbidden to cry on Shabbat…”
The woman told the fascinated audience that she had felt a strong desire to tell that man will with all that she had gone through, but was incapable of uttering a word. She looked deep into his eyes, and her tormented gaze expressed everything. He said to her gently: “My daughter, with G-d’s help you will recover and keep Shabbat!”
The Chanukah menorah with its full complement of eight candles and the shammash stood beside the picture window, diffusing its light against the outer darkness. On the stage the woman wept, and in the audience Yossi wept with her. He did not understand what was happening to him. He had never become so emotional. Suddenly with the tears everything opened up, the whole seminar penetrated his head at once, all the lectures flooded into his consciousness and lit up his soul from within. Suddenly he understood that he was a baal teshuvah, standing in the place where the completely righteous cannot stand. When faith opens up from below, from the depths, from the depths of the sea, from the depths of the heart, then all the springs of deliverance are opened above. And suddenly, with his heart opened wide as the auditorium, he heard the voice of the announcer: “And now Yossi the diver will come up and tell us his story…”
Tell us what you think!
Thank you for your comment!
It will be published after approval by the Editor.