Internet Addicts

Seven years' ago, I was completely addicted to the internet. I had a lot of very good excuses why I needed to be on my computer 12 hours a day; 'I needed it for work'; 'people were trying to get hold of me'; 'I needed to know what was going on so I could plan my day properly'… etc etc etc.
 
But really? Really, I was addicted. Yes, I was also working like a dog, and a lot of my work involved staying up on the latest news and current affairs. But I would get lost in any number of stupid waste-of-time sites, reading about all the latest celebrity gossip and trash; or trying to find the perfect recipe for my chicken thighs; or reading how to stay thin, grow great shrubs, and re-do my lounge, all of which was 'fun' reading – and an enormous, incredible waste of time.
 
I'd come off my internet sessions completely drained, unable to cook, clean or interact with anyone in my family. We'd end up going out for supper at least three times a week, because after reading 400 chicken recipes, I simply didn't have the energy to cook anything.
 
Once I stopped working, my main 'excuse' for the internet disappeared. But I still wasn't quite ready to let go of it, even though I knew in my heart of hearts that it was really, really bad for me.
 
My girls would watch me from the bedroom door, and drive me crazy with requests for them to also 'be' on the internet. I'd snarl at them that it was for adults only, and not appropriate for kids (which was half true). Thank G-d a million times, this stage only lasted a couple of months, because I was increasingly uncomfortable with the central role the internet appeared to be playing in my life, as well as its pull on my daughters.
 
Every time they came off the computer, they'd misbehave terribly. I could see very clearly in them that being plugged-in was destroying something in their souls.
 
Push came to shove, and a few things happened at once, that gave me the courage to get rid of the internet from our home. Firstly, I was having trouble getting my girls to wear their seat belts in the car, so I had a brainwave to find a video of a crash-test dummy going through a windscreen, to scare them into complying.
 
I invited them into the office, and I started surfing Google for something appropriate, and I found a site called 'American Road Safety' or something similar.
 
I clicked on – and I couldn't believe the disgusting pictures that started popping up all over the screen. I yelled at my kids to look away, and I got out of there ASAP.
 
A couple of weeks' later, I was snowed in to my (very small, very claustrophobic) basement apartment, with my husband out of town, and I started to feel very lonely and isolated, so I went on to a film site, and tried to download a 'feel good' film.
 
The film didn't download; but as I was on the site, I noticed the XXX rated section – that was easily accessible for anyone to get into, including my kids.
 
That was the turning point. That's when I realized just how horrible and dangerous and icky the internet was. I could cope with it (so I thought then) – but to put my kids at risk from all that filth? Not on your life!
 
The final nail was Facebook. Because I was very 'technologically savvy' back then, I was one of the first people I knew to have a Facebook account. I even went to a Facebook seminar for business people, where the very nice man explained how easy it was to 'mine' a whole bunch of personal information off Facebook, without people even realizing that you could build up a whole dossier of personal information about them, to better help you target your products.
 
The red light went off in my head, and all I could think was 'Big Brother'. Who needed the KGB, when now we had Facebook? Just to add to the mix, a really annoying person from the UK started to send me (and all his other Facebook 'friends') loads of incredibly dumb, phony, 'look at me' messages about their work, their private life, their choice of sandwich.
 
I realized that I either had to 'de-friend' them – which felt very awkward and harsh – or just stop using Facebook altogether, and that would be the 'reason' why I never got back to them. Thank G-d, I picked the last option, and never looked back.
 
These days, I go to my local library for the internet. Watching the other internet users in the library is so interesting. Before they've even sat down, they've already possessively grabbed the mouse and started clicking on the Chrome shortcut. Their eyes glaze over, and it looks like they've just been body-snatched, or 'soul-snatched', and they aren't really 'there' anymore.
 
Horrible. Disgusting. Gross.
 
Exactly how we all look when we're surfing. Watching my fellow surfers has really brought it back to me, again, how terrible the internet is. I don't know what the answer is, but I can tell you that being around all the other internet addicts in the library is making me pause for thought before I also grab the mouse and join them online, even if it is only once a week.
 
 
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Check out Rivka Levy's new book The Happy Workshop based on the teachings of Rabbi Shalom Arush