Are we Really Shortchanged?
There are moments when lack of community and structure cause frustrations to build up. It's easy to feel angry and like someone is ripping them off…
There is very little chance for discussion between Bnei Noach, which I think is really vital for us. Because of this I wanted to address two comments about my article “Conversion Implosions”. They have had me preoccupied all week so I would like to address them, one this week, and God willing the other next week.
Comment Number One – Conversion Implosions
Insightful, even accurate, but so depressing.
I too am a Bat Noach. Study Tanach in Hebrew. Have no congregation, people or a building. And am fast coming to the realization, that for Hashem to not give much guidance to us, I must question the love. If I don’t give equal guidance for all of my children, I can hardly expect them to believe that I love them equally. This road is becoming more and more bleak. Sorry for these conclusions.
The first thing I want to clarify again is that I am just a Bat Noach who loves Hashem and Torah, who makes mistakes all of the time, who is not an expert in anything. So take anything I say for what it is worth please. Also to the authors of those comments, clearly I am only working off of a few sentences and do not know either of you, so forgive me any erroneous assumptions I am making.
To the Author of Comment Number One,
First, I apologize for contributing to any negative emotion you may be experiencing. If you knew me, you would know I am one of those aggravatingly optimistic sorts. So it disturbs me that I made you feel depressed for even a moment.
Did Hashem not give much guidance to us? If you compare the life of a Ben/Bat Noach to the life of a Jew, then it surely seems like an accurate statement. I am not a rabbi, but I know that Hashem does everything for a reason. He is involved in the constant re-creation of the world, over and over, every second of every minute since the beginning of time. Of course He exists outside of time, so this is how we look at it. He is involved with every quark, electron, water molecule, and particle of dust. He sends an angel to tap every blade of grass on the head, telling it to, “Grow, grow.” So He is clearly involved in your life and my life on an intense level.
Is He even more involved in the life of a Jewish person? Honestly, most of the time, I could care less. How much attention do I need? He makes my heart beat, my lungs expand, puts food in my refrigerator, gave me a wonderful husband who tolerates my craziness, and the best looking kid ever born with giant brown eyes and a tiny clef chin like Kirk Douglas. I am healthy, have more nice friends than I have ever had, wonderful parents and brothers and sisters, decent clothes to put on my back, great doctors, nice neighbors, mail that comes every day, someone to pick up my trash, the ability to regulate the temperature in my house, a comfortable bed, too many books, and oak trees that fill my yard with acorns and squirrels – two of my favorite things. Hashem must be crazy about me to give me all of this and this is a tiny fraction of the myriad blessings in my life. And I am totally unworthy. I make mistakes constantly, blatantly, and often do the wrong thing fully cognizant of the fact that it is wrong. Yet He keeps me around and shows me He loves me.
There are moments where the lack of community and structure cause frustrations to build up and make me cry, make me angry, make me feel ripped off. To be one hundred percent honest, in those moments I look at a Jewish person who can just pull up to that synagogue and go inside and have what I imagine to be such easy access to so much that I want and I feel like it is just plain wrong that you and I may not be able to go there at all, or comfortably just like a normal person who believes in Torah. It makes me batty at times. I want for my son to have a great religious education. How the heck am I going to give that to him? Me? I could go on an on.
But again, I know that everything Hashem does is for a reason. All of it. Therefore, there must be something that I am not understanding. The problem is with my understanding, not Hashem. The work that we humans do, Gentile or Jew, to understand and change our predicament with Hashem’s help, is the stuff of life. That is the human condition, Gentile or Jew. We have that enormous struggle in common. That is why so much Torah wisdom works for me and should for you too. Because when I back up and look at the big picture, I have so much in common with my fellow man, Jew or Gentile. So why would I walk around feeling ripped off? He challenges us all, so many people so much more than I, despite some enormous challenges I have faced.
I used to tell my students that if Helen Keller – who was blind, deaf, and mute – could write a book, they could do their homework. If Elie Wiesel can survive years in concentration and death camps, I can survive not having much guidance as a Bat Noach. If John McCain can survive years in a prisoner of war camp in Vietnam, then I should be able to thrive given the relative ease of my life. If Jews in the former Soviet Union could survive years in the Gulag for handing out little religious calendars – if they could show that devotion to Hashem- then I can show Hashem that I am going to stick with him even though I would really like for my son to be able to go to the Orthodox school down the street and it does not seem like that will happen.
Are we Noahides really shortchanged? When you look at the big picture, I don’t think so.
Thank you for your honesty. And please continue to engage in dialogue with us here at Breslev.com. Rabbi Arush and his staff sincerely welcome all people, Jew and Gentile. We are your community, and it is one of the sweetest anywhere.
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