Mindless Grazer

Rarely do I sit down at the dining table for a meal. Occasionally I will sit at my desk and eat while I work but the majority of time my meals are consumed standing at the kitchen counter.

To even call them meals is probably a significant overstatement. More often than not I graze and, embarrassing to admit, it’s generally mindless grazing. Scanning the fridge and cupboards… a bite of cheese, a scoop of peanut butter, a few crackers… hey there’s a yogurt, I’ll eat that too. Hmmm, still hungry. Maybe a piece of toast…. pretty much sums up my eating “plan”.

What’s worse… sometimes I don’t even realize I’m eating until I’ve taken several bites of something. I mean, I know I’m eating yet it wasn’t a conscious decision but rather a mindless reflex. I cannot tell you how many diets I’ve started only to suddenly find myself eating something not on the diet several days into it. “Oh yeah! I’m on a diet!” I’d laugh to myself as I wondered why I didn’t remember that when I grabbed whatever snack I was munching.

I’ve been eating this way for years – high school being the beginning with the pattern only worsening as I got older. It’s not due to not wanting to cook. I really enjoy cooking and will easily spend hours in the kitchen preparing meals on a regular basis. But when it comes to eating, I so often want simple, no prep food.

However, my body does not like the way I eat. Over the last year or so I’ve been diagnosed with about 5 separate conditions all related to diet – all caused and can be cured by correcting my eating habits. And, since everything is from Hashem, I was pretty confident these diagnosis were wake up calls from Hashem. I needed to make a change. My health was deteriorating. Hashem was sending signals so clear it was like blindingly bright, flashing neon signs “TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY!”

I listened and understood the messages but I did not comply. It’s embarrassing to think about how much money I’ve spent on doctors who would end up telling me, “Fix your diet.” This, despite my desire that they would have some pill or program that would “fix” me so that I could keep my mindless grazing mode of eating. Oh how I’ve fought it! I have great excuses too!

“But I eat almost 100% organic vegetarian diet!”

“But I rarely eat any of the white (flour, sugar, etc..) foods!”

“Surely grazing throughout the day is better than big, heavy meals!”

Recently I contacted Rabbi Lazer Brody for a matter (in my limited thought pattern) totally unrelated to my health or eating habits. His reply? To make sure I’m saying blessings before and after eating.

BOOM.

Hashem is getting pretty serious about me taking this food thing seriously.

I started learning about the blessings that day. I began my attempts at saying the right ones over the right foods. Several times I have totally forgotten and had the awkward experience of trying to say the blessings in public places. More than anything it’s made me realize that mindless grazing is not the way to eat for a multitude of reasons.

Let me tell you, standing in the kitchen snacking on this and that AND trying to make the appropriate blessings is not easy. It’s made me realize how I’ve taken the whole eating process for granted – from being grateful for the food, to being grateful for a place to prepare it, not to mention for having a place to sit with family and eat it. By mindlessly grazing I’ve robbed myself of the time to relax, to disconnect from work, to connect with family and to appreciate what Hashem has provided.

It may take a while until this new “sit down and have a real meal with gratitude” program becomes automatic for me. But about a week into it I can tell you, I don’t want to go back to a mindless grazing lifestyle ever again. Being openly and verbally grateful to Hashem for the blessings in our lives is a huge blessing on its own.

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Jennifer invites you to participate in a regularly held Noahide on-line study group that reviews the garden series books of Rabbi Arush. You can contact her at jenniferjwoodward@gmail.com to be added to the weekly newsletter for dates and times. Visit the blog at noahidenews.blogspot.com.