From Troubles to Triumphs

How can we avoid the self-defeating behavior of a bad habit or of repeated mistakes? How can we put the brakes on a downward spiral and make a new beginning?

3 min

Dennis Rosen

Posted on 12.07.23

In Tractate Kiddushin, we read about a tragic chain of events. An individual sins by selling produce grown during the Sabbatical year. As a result of this transgression he undergoes a series of brutal financial reversals. Despite this, he stubbornly ignores each tribulation and fails to change his behavior.

 

First, he is forced to sell his movable property. Next, he incurs additional losses that require him to sell his ancestral farmland. Eventually, he is forced to sell his home. He fails to repent and his worsening poverty compels him to sell his daughter as a maidservant. Incredibly, he stubbornly refuses to change his ways and times become so tough he is forced to sell himself into servitude. After serving a term of six years in a Jewish household, his troubles intensify and he sells himself into slavery in a house of idolatry.

 

How low can a person go? How could he disregard such strong signals that a change in direction is required?

 

Rav Huna gives us the answer. When a person sins repeatedly, he loses his sensitivity to sin. In fact, he begins to feel that his actions are completely permissible. “What do you mean that my reversals are being caused by my behavior? I’m not doing anything wrong!”

 

Review Your Messages

How can we avoid such self-defeating behavior? How can we put the brakes on a downward spiral and make a new beginning?

 

Rather than attributing our troubles to nature or chance, they should stimulate repentance. In the book Garden Of Emuna, Rabbi Shalom Arush writes that a loss is a message from Hashem to stimulate self-evaluation and soul searching because there are no tribulations without transgression. The best way in the world to compensate for a deficiency is repentance, namely, rectifying the misdeeds that caused a deficiency in the first place.

 

At the Passover Seder most people use romaine lettuce for maror, the bitter herbs. The Hebrew word for Romaine lettuce, Chazeret, has the same root as the word for return, Chozer. A bitter experience causes a person to reflect and return to Hashem. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein taught why romaine lettuce is the most preferred of the five types. It is only slightly bitter. When we have slight discomfort we should pick up the message: Hashem wants us to take stock of our actions. Suffering will then have accomplished its purpose. Subsequently, there’s no need for harsher and more bitter forms of suffering.

 

Judge Yourself Daily

Rabbi Arush writes that in order to correct ourselves we must first take a good look at ourselves. This underscores the need for daily self-assessment. This is a key component of our daily personal prayer sessions.

 

Living our lives on autopilot is as foolhardy as an airline pilot not bothering to check the instrument panel to ensure that he is on course. I remember hearing a joke about a pilot making an announcement to the passengers. He said, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we’re an hour ahead of schedule. The bad news is that we’re lost!”

 

Hashem doesn’t want us to get lost and continue to blemish our souls. He wants us to fulfill our individual mission and soul correction and arrive in the next world with pure clean souls so we do not have to undergo a painful cleansing. Therefore, with love, He sends messages to teach us where we need to improve. These messages often come in the form of troubles and tribulations. These are wake up calls to get our attention and arouse us from a spiritual slumber.

 

Take the Daily SCAR Treatment

In the book In Forest Fields Rabbi Arush uses an acronym of SCAR to describe what we need to do daily.

 

S – Soul searching / Stopping 

We review the events of the last 24 hours and analyze all we’ve done and everything we’ve experienced. We identify and stop destructive and dysfunctional behavior.

C – Confession 

We verbally admit to Hashem where we’ve sinned or fallen short in our conduct.

A – Apologize 

We express our sincere remorse for our misdeeds and ask for forgiveness.

R – Resolution 

We resolve to do better, compose an action plan and ask Hashem to help us make a new beginning.

 

This regular program of personal prayer, reflection and repentance can turn our scars into stars. Not only do we attain forgiveness and avoid the need for further tribulations, but our sincere repentance and desire to improve evoke phenomenal Divine Compassion and transform us into vessels fit to receive great blessings and salvations.

 

Let’s remember there are no tribulations without transgression. Let’s remember to check our moral GPS daily and be sure to make necessary adjustments. Daily personal prayer, self-assessment and repentance can turn our troubles into triumphs. Not only will this approach save us from suffering; it will give us the greatest gift of all, coming closer to Hashem.

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