Genuine Vitality

Rebbe Natan of Breslev teaches (Likutei Halachot, Hilchot Tefillin, 6) that humility is synonymous with eternal life while arrogance is a living death. Arrogant people are never happy; they’re extremely temper-prone, and – as their unfortunate spouses, children and peers know – they make life miserable for everyone around them.
 
Since Western society encourages arrogance and aggressiveness, it unwittingly leads people to misery. One who thrives on other people’s recognition is a slave doomed to a living death, for his life more often than not is disappointing.
 
The mindset of seeking honor and impressing others is the opposite of truth. The true tzaddikim always went to great lengths to hide their holy deeds and wonderful characteristics. Truth and humility go hand in hand, just as arrogance and fantasy go hand in hand. The true tzaddikim suffered humiliation and insult happily; some even sought verbal abuse to make sure that they’d have no reason to be haughty.
 
The lust for honor is tantamount to heresy. Why? True honor belongs to Hashem alone. He who dons the cloak of honor is usurping the King’s cloak. Rebbe Nachman of Breslev, one of history’s all-time master storytellers, tells the following parable to help us understand the point at hand:
 
One of the royal ministers sent a simple clerk to attend to some matter in a faraway village. The clerk acted as if he were the minister, for the villagers had no idea who the minister was or who the clerk was. Since the locals now thought that the clerk was the minister, they began to pay him homage and to bow down before him. They addressed him in a manner that one addresses royalty.
 
Once, the royal minister came to inspect the affairs of the village first hand, with his clerk accompanying him. The minister stopped one of the village policemen, and asked him why such-and-such was askew. The policemen ignored the royal minister, but fell prostrate at the feet of the clerk. The clerk’s face turned a crimson red. In addition to the embarrassment, he’d now be incurring the wrath of his master the royal minister…
 
The lust for honor is a terrible sickness of the soul. One who craves honor and respect is hypersensitive in the worst way. He is utterly insulted by anyone who fails to lavish him with honor and respect. The slightest comment or criticism – even justified – is a living death for him. He is out of touch with reality while harboring a fantasy about his lofty honor. Even worse, he always perceives that others are looking at him, talking about him and plotting against him. Such craving for honor is the sign of an unhealthy soul, Heaven forbid.
 
On the other hand, one who believes that honor and prestige are Hashem’s lot, and he is simply satisfied to be connected to Hashem, will enjoy the vitality of a healthy soul. He won’t seek prestige, nor will he ever damage another person’s prestige. He won’t suffer the terrible fantasy of self-aggrandizement.
 
An arrogant person is never satisfied and he only finds shortcomings in everyone and in everything. The fanciest luxury hotel won’t even be acceptable to him.
 
The arrogant are always angry with any tiny detail in life that fail to meet their approval. Even when served the finest gourmet meal, they’ll find fault with the china, the cutlery, or the centerpiece. They’ll regard any chef or maître-d’ as a bungling idiot. And, if they do somehow approve of the staff, they’ll criticize the furniture or the decor. They’ll never be happy.
 
Our sages differentiate between a good guest and a bad one: the good guest appreciates every little detail, thinking how much the host is doing for him. The bad guest not only fails to appreciate anything, but finds fault with the host.
 
If an arrogant person would learn emuna, he’d be able to be satisfied with whatever Hashem gives him at the moment knowing that Hashem does everything for the very best.
 
With emuna, we save ourselves untold anguish. We know that Hashem has a reason for everything. Even if something is not to our liking, we can reconcile ourselves to the fact that this is Hashem’s will. As soon as we know that Hashem wants things to be a certain way, we can readily accept, going through life with much less anxiety and conflict. Emuna helps us acquire humility, which is genuine vitality. A humble person is truly alive.