The Sheitel Lady
A woman evokes abundance from Above through the mitzvah of covering her hair; she holds the power over her family’s livelihood and countless other blessings…
There’s a certain someone we call Sheitel Lady. She lives in our house. Sheitel Lady is a Styrofoam head that lives on my dresser. She and I had a battle of will 
for a long time and eventually Sheitel Lady won out. Sheitel Lady has the distinct job of holding my sheitel (wig) when it’s not on my head, and making the kids laugh when we use her as a ventriloquist puppet prop.
I take good care of Sheitel Lady. I even painted her face. She looked so, well—white. Aside from the time the kids got a hold of her and ripped off her nose, Sheitel Lady has absolutely nothing to complain about. She had the zechut or merit, to hold my sheitel instead of being produced into a 24pack of Styrofoam cups. She guards my sheitel from becoming limp, ensuring what Eileen Curtis refers to as that ‘you just stepped out of a salon’ look. What would I do without her? She greets me each morning, sometimes with hair, sometimes without, and at times, with an unidentifiable object on her head. But she’s always there, a reminder of one of the biggest commitments I ever made.
In rediscovering my Jewish roots, I learned that I would have to ‘cover’ some other roots as well—the roots of my hair that is. Looking back, I don’t know why I put up such a fight. Hashem commanded I do something, and I didn’t feel like being encumbered by this mitzvah. Why all this emphasis on my head? Couldn’t being a nice person exempt me from this ‘hairy’ situation? (No pun intended, of course.)
Covering my hair was a gradual process, which did not happen overnight. First, I wore hats only to shul. Then, I covered my hair outside the house, but not while I was home. And then I realized—what am I teaching my kids? That Hashem exists only in Shul? Outside the house? That Hashem doesn’t see what I was doing, or rather, not doing?
There are many explanations why a woman should cover her hair. Here are my preferred three reasons, in a nutshell, which I will try to illustrate as best as I can.
- As a couple stands under the chuppah on their wedding day, Hashem’s presence actually comes to rest on the woman’s head. Sparks from the Shechina, which now are part of the bride’s head, have changed her status completely. In keeping with the holiness which has been embedded in her hair, the woman must now cover her head
- Hashem gives the woman a gift—her husband, the greatest gift of all. In return for such a gift, Hashem asks the woman for something in return—to modestly cover her hair. This fact should remain with her always.
- And the most unequivocal of all—because Hashem said so.
Aside from the halachic aspect regarding covering one’s head, there are more practical reasons for this mitzvah which I have found. Hashem in His wisdom takes everything into account, not overlooking even one detail. For example, I don’t have the three hours I used to have to sit in a salon. When my sheitel looks a bit worn, I take my Sheitel Lady for a ride in the car. I drive to my sheitel mocher, (wig stylist) ignoring the strange stares I get because of my ‘passenger’. I deposit her for a day, and upon my return, Sheitel Lady looks like a million bucks. Not only did I save myself the three hours, I also saved myself from having to listen to the proverbial tales of woe which seem to afflict all male hairstylists.
Another positive aspect to covering ones hair, (aside from the many spiritual benefits, of course) is that at the first sign of gray, you know you’re covered. The problem is if you find a gray hair in your sheitel—then you know your worrying is a bit out of hand or hair.
Tired of your hair? You feel like long one day, short the next, change of color? Go buy a new one! Aside from people thinking you suffer from split personality disorder, G-d forbid, imagine the possibilities!
There is a story, though, whose veracity I have not checked, which I found in a reputable Jewish weekly. If this story does not emphasize the importance of this mitzvah, then I do not know what will. A woman gets locked out of her house. She calls her husband on his cell phone, tells him that she is in the back of the house, and needs him to turn back home to open the door for her.
“Why don’t you walk around the front and open the door?” (Apparently there was an extra key there or something). She replied something along these lines: “There is no way that I am walking around this house with my hair uncovered, so you better come back to open the door. Please.” (She was forceful—but nice). Her husband did indeed come back to open the door. He was fortunately late for work that day. Fortunately, because he worked at the World Trade Center and this all happened on the morning of September 11…..
A husband’s well being is bound in his wife’s hair. A woman has the power to bring blessings into her home with this one mitzvah. She holds the power over her family’s livelihood, and countless other blessings. A woman might think it is hard to cover her hair. In reality though, it might be harder not to.
Of course, if you feel a bit squeamish about wearing someone else’s hair, there is no shortage of other options out there. From colorful scarves to stylish berets—the selection is truly fit for a daughter of the King. And of course, I must add a disclaimer that different groups do follow different customs—so if you are a baal teshuva, and Sepharadi, but you follow Chabad and then become Breslov…well, then—I don’t know—please consult with your local Rabbinic authority!
It says Mashiach will herald in an era of peace, which we so desperately need. It also says that it is the righteous women who will once again bring our nation to the doorstep of redemption. For the sake of our people let’s do this one mitzvah, which contrary to being a ‘heavy burden’ on our heads will ‘lighten’ our hearts with joy. My we merit it speedily in our days, Amen!
1/25/2015
Most Jewish women do not really grasp just how powerful they actually are!!!
Great article, Natalie!I am forwarding it to a friend- hopefully she will internalize your powerful, yet simple message! I think that most Jewish women do not really grasp just how powerful they actually are!!…From polishing our mirrors in Egypt, Miriam's drum-making workshop (;)),the refusal to give our gold by the golden calf fiasco, as well as the refusal to believe the spies in the wilderness-…here we stand in modern times..please that we realize who we are!
1/25/2015
Great article, Natalie!I am forwarding it to a friend- hopefully she will internalize your powerful, yet simple message! I think that most Jewish women do not really grasp just how powerful they actually are!!…From polishing our mirrors in Egypt, Miriam's drum-making workshop (;)),the refusal to give our gold by the golden calf fiasco, as well as the refusal to believe the spies in the wilderness-…here we stand in modern times..please that we realize who we are!
4/24/2013
No Sheitels No sheitels are modest !!!