Repentance Online

She’s been with me now for over a year and a half. She’s been my constant companion. I can’t imagine going anywhere without her. My companion has been a source of information, entertainment, and relaxation. Recently I began to worry that perhaps my relationship with her was becoming inappropriate.

The companion I’m referring to is my smartphone.

A Powerful and Destructive Tool

 There were two turning points that caused me to reassess my ways and make significant changes. First I listened to a lecture by Rabbi Lazer Brody. He starts off with a funny story told by Rabbi Shalom Arush. The story is only half tongue in cheek. It contains a very powerful message and warning.

Rabbi Arush was doing personal prayer on the beach. He spotted the Evil Inclination reclining in a lounge chair reading a magazine and drinking a big mug of beer. Next to him his assistant had steaks grilling on the barbecue and there was raucous music blaring. The Rav asked the Evil Inclination: What are you doing? Everyone knows you’ve got no time to relax. It’s your job to tempt people. Does Hashem know what you’re doing? Since when did you retire?

The Evil Inclination answered: I’m not retired. I have industrialized and streamlined. I don’t have to work hard anymore. I’ve got new tools, the iPhone, internet, and Facebook working for me. Before, I had to approach people one at a time. Now I can snag thousands at once. So you see, I’ve got plenty of time to party and relax.

Dangers of the Internet

Rabbi Brody says he gets many letters from wives stating that their husbands are addicted to computer games. One man lost his job because he was addicted to a game called Winds of War. Others stay up late at night surfing the net and looking at Facebook. In the morning they are so tired they are unable to wake up to go to minyan and they have trouble functioning at work.

Rabbi Brody had a conversation with Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein, zt”l, who works with at-risk youth. Rabbi Wallerstein told him that approximately 15% of girls in religious households in New York City text messages on Shabbat. In fact, he believes this is a conservative estimate!

A prominent religious court judge told Rabbi Brody that more than 60% of divorces arise from internet-related problems.

How many times do we check the news each day? It’s okay to take a look once a day but do you really need to know what’s going on every hour? One man told Rabbi Brody that his wife was so engrossed in a newscast that she put salt in the challah dough instead of sugar. Must have been an interesting Shabbat meal!

We are commanded to immerse ourselves in the Torah day and night. It’s OK to close the Gemara to make a living or to exercise for health. However we don’t have license to sit excessively in front of the computer playing games, looking at the news, or being absorbed in Facebook. One of the most embarrassing moments in front of the Heavenly Court will be when we are shown our book of life and see what we could have accomplished with time we wasted on inconsequential matters.

Time for a New Game Plan

I took a hard look at myself. Sure, I need to use my smartphone for work and I use it to learn Torah. However, what about all the time I spend on news and political websites? What about all the time I spend reading about the Phillies and Eagles?

One afternoon during the time I was wrestling with this issue, I was walking down the street past a restaurant. In the window I saw a man and woman at the same table. They were neither looking at each other nor were they engaged in conversation. They both had their heads down looking at their smartphones. This was so pathetic! I thought to myself: I don’t want to be like this! I decided to embark on a four-part strategy.

1. Measure It

I began to measure the time I spent on the internet that had nothing to do with work or Torah. It amounted to approximately 20 minutes per day. That may not sound like much, but this amounts to two hours per week or 100 hours per year. I simply can’t justify spending that type of time when there’s so much Torah to learn and when my family needs me to spend more time with them.

2. Cut it

As a first step, I resolved to cut my internet usage by 50%. During this first week, I’ve met my target. I hope to make additional significant cuts going forward.

3. Check it in

I remember in the old cowboy movies, whenever a marshal came to town to clean up violence, he would station deputies at the door of the saloon and make people check in their guns. I’ve decided to check in my smart phone whenever I enter the house. I’ll put it up on the shelf on the charger out of sight and out of mind. This way I’ll spend all the available time I have at home interacting with my family or studying Torah and not surfing the web.

4. Pray it up

I am bringing this issue to Hashem each day in my personal prayers. I’m evaluating how I did the prior day. I thank Him for my successes and progress. When I slip up and waste time I ask for His forgiveness. Finally, I’m asking for His help going forward to make continued progress.

This isn’t easy. However, Hashem knows when we’re doing something that’s difficult for us. The more difficult it is, the more precious it is to Him.

Connect to the Right Address

Rabbi Brody says that we don’t need Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn. We need to be linked into Torah. That’s how we connect to Hashem. We need to realize the value of every single second. In Heaven we will be held accountable. Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky said that every moment has the potential for eternity. Once it’s gone it’s lost forever.

In the merit of meeting the challenge and resisting the temptation to engage in inappropriate or excessive use of the internet, may we optimize the use of our time in Torah, prayer and good deeds. This will bring us closer to Hashem and help us to become the people He meant for us to be.