A Glimpse of the Garden
Rabbis are attacked. Bombs are launched perpetually at Israel, many of them paid for with our tax dollars. It makes no sense at all. What’s going on the world?...
This week the words of Rodney King are playing in my head, “Why can’t we just all get along?” Read that sentence again in a pleading tone like you are just about to cry and shake your head back and forth. Kids are killed. Rabbis are attacked. Bombs are launched perpetually at Israel, many of them paid for with my tax dollars. I hate typing those sentences. I’m incredulous yet no longer surprised, which of course makes no sense- two totally contradictory states coexisting within me.
On a deep down level this animosity makes no sense to me. I was raised with many close family friends who are Jewish, so close that we named our son Jacob after one of them. And we all get along quite famously. They love us and we love them. It is never an issue that we are Gentiles and they are Jews. Never. I attended school with many Jewish people and we got along terrifically. Never an issue. Lived in the same neighborhood – no problem.
Of course because we humans tend to be egocentric, I used to think that my experience with Jew-Gentile relations was the experience. So when I learned about the Holocaust as a kid, it made absolutely no sense to me. When my parents and teachers explained it to me I literally remember thinking that they were making a mistake, were misspeaking. Come again? They must have confused some of the major facts. Did you say ‘Jews’? How could anyone on earth have anything against any of the people we were – and are – so close to? Inconceivable. My thoughts went something like this:
Adult: Alice, there are people in the world who hate flowers, clean air, drinkable water, babies, delicious food, spring weather, and the entire animal kingdom.Me: Huh?Adult: Yes. And they want to eradicate them all. It’s horrible.Me: Are you feeling OK?
I am in no way trying to be funny. I assure you. It made no sense to me then and it still makes no sense to me. Hearing about what happened to my friends and to their families sent me down a road I’m still on. I pretty much never did my homework, but I learned about the Holocaust, about religion in general, heroes of the Jewish people, antisemitism, Zionism- you get the picture. Of course I’m still learning about all of these things. Only now I actually study the Torah, believe in Judaism, and love Israel for even deeper reasons.
As I have aged and taken on real responsibilities, venturing forth into neighborhoods and corners of the world very much unlike the one in which I was raised, I have seen much unfriendliness and the concomitant distrust, hurt, confusion, and even violence. Even though I have seen more of ‘reality’ what is happening now in Israel feels unreal. To pursue people with, God forbid, the intent to harm them, and these folks are doing what we should all be doing, i.e. loving Hashem and spreading peace- that I can only call a world that is upside down. It hurts to see it, makes me feel helpless at times, even makes me feel violent. Worst of all it makes me want to give up on just about everyone. I could just dive into a cocktail of shopping, wine, and too much TV. I could squeeze my eyes shut and write off the peace I experienced as some kind of illusion.
But, it is my hundred percent honest and deeply held belief that the love I have of the Jewish people, the harmony I have experienced and still experience the vast majority of the time, is the way it is supposed to be. It is the way things should be. It is genuine shalom. It is straight from Hashem. It feels like a peek into the secret garden. And there is no way I’m giving that up.
There is very little that we can control in this world except what we choose to believe and how we respond to our emotions. So when violent, angry, cynical people try to convince me and all of the other people who have experienced true peace that it was not for real, that it can be taken from us forever, that it is not how the world really was or will ever be, we can’t take them seriously for one moment.
One of my all-time biggest heroes was and still is Simon Wiesenthal. When I learned about him as a kid I thought, “That is how grownups are supposed to be. That is a real man.” I don’t know if there are people who have seen worse than what he saw while held prisoner by the Nazis. Don’t think there could be. He was a walking skeleton when his camp was liberated. A few days later he walked into the war crimes office set up in the camp by the Allies and told them he wanted to help. They took pity on him, gave him a plate of food, and told him to start writing down what he had seen. From that day on Mr. Wiesenthal, who had the heart of a lion, pursued justice unflinchingly. His war crime office was the last one open after everyone else had checked out and gone home.
Despite everything he experienced, the worst depths of hell, he lived a righteous life, loved people, even smiled, all while hunting down some of the worst monsters who have ever lived. He did not surrender, even when people from all directions were discouraging him- sometimes with violence. He never let the doubters dictate to him what reality would be, what he would or would not do.
The people of the world who like me have experienced real shalom must draw from that well and never ever let the haters define our worlds for us. That is not allowed. It is not their right. ‘Shalom’ is one of Hashem’s names. It comes from Him, it is Him. To give up on it is to give up on Him, God forbid.
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