Achievaholics

Rebbe Nachman warned us to save enough time to look at the sky. He knew what a trap career addiction would be in this generation before Moshiach.

 

Most of us are achievaholics to an extent. We want to be the best. We’re the products of mass-media indoctrination and modern society’s mega-competition. True, achievaholics conquer admirable challenges in their respective fields; but, they often become slaves to career and monetary goals and illusions, while pursuing a variety of ersatz gratifications that neglect the soul and don’t reach happiness.

 

My friends, especially my comrades in the Special Forces reserves, were all go-getters – highly motivated achievers and tops in their respective fields. When you’d remove their shiny shellacked façade of success, they were basically achievaholics in a mad race to nowhere just like I was before teshuva changed my life. When I opened my eyes and started to take a serious inventory of life, I discovered that I wasn’t alone; the minute I’d pull any of my friends off the mad merry-go-round for a moment’s earnest dialogue, I discovered that they were suffering just like I was. Confidentially, they all spoke about the same feelings of pain and bewilderment, a gnawing unhappiness from deep down inside.

 

Funny, but so often we look around, and see others who are apparently happier than we are. In most cases, all we have to is make a thumbnail scratch on the cosmetic smile, the makeup-kit blush, or the hand-tailored success-story image that many of us 21^st-Century high-pressure mega-competition gladiators wear, and fine lines of telltale unhappiness reveal themselves.

 

Try this little exercise: Choose a person that you consider successful, or someone that you might even envy. Arrange to spend more than thirty minutes alone with that person, in a relaxed heart-to-heart environment. Mention such words as "happiness", "happiness", or "tranquility", and see how soon Mr. or Ms. Success Story sighs deeply, and then begins pouring his or her heart out to you with a shopping-list of trials, tribulations, and troubles. Oftentimes, they’ll embarrassingly check themselves, and attempt to reassume their role-played composure. "Oh, but I really am doing famously." Is that really true? Without happiness, the tiniest breeze of anxiety is enough to ruffle a French coiffure.

 

Who’s the real me?

 

We all try to look our best – that’s not only legitimate, but a matter of basic self-esteem. Yet, during our pre-bedtime wash, when we relax and shed our daytime best-foot-forward images, we look in the mirror and see the real "me". Frequently, we detect a hint or two of unhappiness, and then (choose the option that describes you best):

Option One: Put on a determined smile, and tell myself that everything’s fine.

Option Two: Extinguish the pain with a nightcap or a pill.

Option Three: Divert my thoughts with a good book or movie, and/or chamomile tea / burger / brownie / bowl of corn flakes / (insert your favorite bedtime snack).

Option Four: Fall asleep while listening to my favorite music.

Option Five: Contemplate about what would make me happy, and read on article in bed that I printed out from BreslovWorld.com .

 

The above five options are the result of our individual efforts to end a difficult day on a tranquil, happy, and enjoyable note. Here’s how:

 

1. The option "1" people are the heroic grin-and-bearers, who put on a brave face for noble reasons, such as sparing their spouses, children, parents, or themselves from undue worry or concern.

 

2. The option "2" people ask themselves, "Why suffer?" Usually, they too have a lofty motive, thinking that the pill or the nightcap will relieve the strain, and help them be a nicer, more relaxed person.

 

3. Option three-ers carry their brains and bodies away from daytime turbulence and happiness. They choose a book or film that shows the brain a far-away favorite image (notice how nobody reads the daily newspaper before bed), and/or pick a snack that that feeds the palate its favorite taste. With body and mind satisfied, they hope to have a peaceful sleep.

 

4. Option 4 people enjoy the profound immediate effect that music has on the soul. Our favorite melodies help us feel better instantly. What could be simpler than flipping on the CD that best uplifts our spirits?

 

5. Option fivers know that something’s missing from their lives, and are earnestly looking to fill the gap. Bedtime motivation, especially the words of the wise, gives us the courage and optimism to look forward to another day.

 

Let’s take another look at our five pre-bedtime options, from the flip side of the coin. Are we really improving our lives with the above five options? In actuality –

 

Option "1" people lie to themselves. The "noble" act of "biting the bullet" and lying to oneself carries an expensive price tag. In time, self-liars accumulate enough anxiety and frustration to become candidates for nervous disorders, ulcers, or cardiovascular problems.

 

The option "2" people kill themselves. The multi-billion dollar drug and alcohol industries are living proof how millions of people opt for the temporary relief of unhappiness, anxiety, and inner turmoil by resorting to chemical or alcoholic means. Members of this group are the worst sufferers – their unhappiness grows with time, as does their dependence on substances. The alcohol and pill crutch – rather than helping option two-ers stand on their own two emotional feet –becomes a shovel that digs their grave.

 

Option Three people are masters of diversion. They divert their attention from their emotional and spiritual hungers by throwing bones to the body and brain. That bedside thriller or the tear-jerking romance on TV won’t bring happiness, just as the bedtime snacks won’t satiate a starving soul. Many of us fit into the "option 3" category. Even though reading and sharpening the mind are noble endeavors, when we resort to books or movies as mental and emotional diversions, we fail to address the central issue on our personal agenda – solving the dilemma of why we’re not really happy.

 

Option Four people ignore their own innermost feelings, and simply drown them in the strains of their stereo earphones. But, the minute the earphones come off, the real world comes back. No matter how hard we try, we can’t ignore our inner feelings for long. Music soothes the soul, and our favorite CD certainly has the ability to lift our spirits, but lacks the power to bring about long-term happiness and happiness.

 

The "option 5" group is the only group that’s trying to address life’s central issue – what brings happiness. You’ll find our wonderful readers together with us in this group, working together to find real meaning in life. Welcome to Breslev Israel. With blessings always, Lazer Brody.