Better Prayer, Step By Step

The core of our daily services consists of 19 key blessings in the Shemoneh Esrei or Amidah. Have you ever reached the end of your prayers only to realize that you’ve been thinking about the news or your ever-growing To Do list the whole time? Have you ever gotten that sinking feeling that you’ve lost all or most of the prayers due to an abundant amount of distractions? You’re not alone – I’ve been there too.

I’d like to share with you some suggestions I’ve learned from books, CD’s, and classes that I’m trying to implement.

Know that you are standing before Someone Who loves you and that He has unlimited power 

Rebbe Nachman suggests that when we step up to pray we should contemplate that Hashem created the world in His mercy to show His mercy. He loves each of us like an only child.

 

He very much wants to hear our prayers and will listen closely. If He deems it appropriate He can change any situation completely and bring us a needed salvation in the blink of an eye.

Pause before beginning each blessing and think about what you are going to request 

The Chofetz Chaim urges us to pause before each blessing and contemplate what we are about to request and why the request is so important. This will help compose yourself and focus your intellectual and emotional energies on each request.

Think before you speak 

The Ramban says to ponder each word before it leaves our mouth. As explained in a shiur I recently heard by Rabbi Label Lam when you think about each word in advance you make them your own heartfelt words. You are not just reciting someone else’s thoughts.  Your praises become sincere expressions of love and gratitude.  Your requests become impassioned appeals for Divine assistance and guidance.

 

Unless we think about what we are saying and Whom we are addressing, many of us can go our whole lives saying blessings and praying three times a day and rarely think of Hashem.

Pause again and regroup before concluding each blessing 

Unfortunately even with the best of intentions, our minds may wander during the recitation of each blessing. Therefore, it’s a good idea to pause again before the final line of the blessing – once again think about what you are about to request and how wonderful it would be to have the request fulfilled.

Don’t let the Evil Inclination push you around! 

Rabbi Shalom Arush writes In Forest Fields that the Evil Inclination recognizes that prayer leads to redemption and consequently works very hard to distract and demoralize us in this area. He tells us to know the enemy: “We’ve now caught the Evil Inclination red handed; that’s who’s infiltrating our hearts and brains in trying to stop us from speaking to Hashem.”

 

Rabbi Arush brings down a parable from the Chofetz Chaim about a lady who was selling a basket of apples on a street corner. A bunch of young hooligans came and knocked over the basket and began to run away with many of her apples. In despair she stood there crying. A wise bystander advised her to stop standing and wailing and to pick up as many apples as she could salvage for herself.

 

Rav Arush states that praying word for word is similar to a snatching battle – the Evil Inclination grabs several words, and then the person praying overcomes the inclination and snatches some words. The stronger the person becomes in praying, the more he’ll grab from the Evil Inclination.

Use the power of song 

Use one of your favorite tunes and periodically sing your prayers. Try it! You’ll find that this adds tremendous intent, focus and enthusiasm to your prayers.

Slow down, you move too fast! 

Rabbi Arush says each day we should take our time and pray at least one of the three Amidah prayers slowly and deliberately, with sincerity and devoted concentration.

“Imagine that you were taken inside the royal treasury. The King tells you that you can take as much as you can. Yet you grab a gem or two and run away.

 

Hashem wants to give us everything, yet we mumble our prayers in a rush as if they are a burden that we’re happy to be rid of. Little do we know that we can enter the King’s Treasury with our Amidah prayers, so where are we rushing off to?

 

One should ask oneself what’s more gratifying to Hashem, should I rush through my prayers and take part in the Kiddushah, or should I pray with devotion and deliberation, concentrating on every word?

 

The Evil Inclination will still fight to grab our thoughts, but if we contemplate each word before we say it, surely we will manage to say at least some of the benedictions with true intent. Without this advice, most of our prayer will lack deliberation and conviction.”

Read books and articles to understand the meaning of the prayers 

The nineteen benedictions of the Amidah are filled with deep and profound meanings. There are a number of excellent books which can help you to learn the meaning of what you are saying and add intensity and power to your prayers. Examples include Praying with Fire by Rabbi Heshy Klienman and The Shemoneh Esrai by Rabbi Avraham Chaim Feuer. Making one of more of these books part of your learning program is a wise investment.

Pray to Pray – Persevere in Your Efforts 

Rabbi Arush instructs us how to obtain the ability of praying with true concentration and deliberation:

 

First, we should devote many personal prayer hours to asking Hashem for the ability to pray word for word with intent and devotion. Second, we must never give up.

Let’s remember:  

* Before you begin to pray remember you are standing before Someone who loves you and has unlimited power.

 

* Pause before each blessing and think about what you are about to request.

 

* Ponder each word before it leaves your mouth so your words become personal heartfelt expressions.

 

* Pause again before the concluding blessing to regroup, refocus and ensure a powerful close.

 

* Don’t let the Evil Inclination have his way with you – fight back after temporary setbacks and claim as many precious words as you can.

 

* Leverage the power of song to enhance joy and intent.

 

* Slow down, take your time and maximize your experience standing before the King – don’t rush out of the King’s treasury.

 

* Read books and articles on the Shemoneh Esrei to become knowledgeable and inspired by the depth and profundity of the prayers.

 

* Pray to Hashem to help you improve your prayers. Be patient, persevere and believe in the power of your prayers.

In the merit of strengthening our daily prayers, may Hashem answer our requests for the good and provide us with what we need to serve Him. May this hasten the full redemption of our people.