Causes of Self Induced Suffering Part 4
One who causes embarrassment, humiliation, shame, insult, or pain to another individual can expect the like in return. Verbal abuse is a boomerang.
One who causes embarrassment, humiliation, shame, insult, or pain to another individual can expect the like in return. Verbal abuse is a boomerang.
9. Verbally Abusing One's Fellow Man
One who causes embarrassment, humiliation, shame, insult, or pain to another individual can expect the like in return. Verbal abuse is a boomerang.
By the letter of Talmudic Law, one who makes a habit of degrading, embarrassing, and insulting other people is considered a menace not worthy to dwell on this earth. Therefore, if a verbal abuser becomes the brunt of verbal abuse, he should be happy, because God, in His extreme mercy, has granted him an extremely mild sentence.
At the time of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, one who shamed his fellow man was subject to excommunication until he appeased the shamed person. Excommunication itself is a severe humiliation. Today, religious courts don't excommunicate verbal abusers, since so many people are so careless with their tongues. If a religious court had to try every case of verbal abuse, its docket would be bottlenecked for the next twenty years.
Since the earthly courts lack the capability of trying and punishing offenders, the Heavenly Court oversees the enforcement of the prohibition against verbal abuse, and sentences the offender. Often, the decree is implemented immediately, and the verbal abuser becomes the victim of some sort of verbal abuse, a prime example of ATFAT-based justice. [ATFAT stands for "A Turn For A Turn."]
Nearly every case I've ever counseled of insolent and disrespectful children is rooted in parents who are guilty of disdain. A parent's contempt for other people serves as a behavioral role model for a child. In true ATFAT style, parents eat the bitter fruits of their own bad example.
10. Setting a Trap for Others
Dovid HaMelech (King David) said (see Tehillim 7:16) that one who digs a pit to ensnare one's fellow man eventually falls in that very same trap. In regard to our subject at hand, a person who attempts to upset or anger his fellow man exposes himself to similar damage.
The above principle operates on the lines of an interesting spiritual phenomenon, as illustrated by the following classroom situation:
Victim of the Classroom Prank
Bill and John, schoolmates, weren't the best of friends. Bill wanted a good classroom laugh at John's expense, so during recess, he planted some well-chewed bubble gum on John's seat, and then left the classroom.
Meanwhile, Ronnie had misplaced his lunchbox, and had returned to the classroom to look for it. While searching the entire classroom, he juggled the chairs, and unwittingly moved John's chair to Bill's desk.
Several minutes later, the bell rang and the pupils returned to class. Bill had a sly grin on his face, eager to see John's reaction of disgust, which would obviously ignite an explosion of laughter in the classroom. Bill sat down behind his desk and SQUISH! The class breaks out laughing – even the teacher can't contain himself. Bill fell prey to his own trap.
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Moral of the classroom story: God arranged that Ronnie misplace his lunchbox in order to foil Bill's plan. Ronnie could have moved the bubble-gummed chair to any one of thirty other desks in the classroom, but God arranged that the chair find its way to Bill's desk. God also diverted Bill's attention when he sat down, so that he wouldn't notice the bubble gum. This is one small example of the Almighty's intervention, even to the smallest detail of our daily lives. Many are the emotional terrorists whose bombs of degradation and ridicule blow up in their own faces.
11. Buffoonery
When a person ridicules or jokes at the expense of others, God will send the jokester ridicule in return.
Jokesters, artists of buffoonery, who specialize in hurting others, sever themselves from God. The Almighty is disgusted by buffoonery that is used as a weapon against others.
The abovementioned classroom story is a relevant illustration of the clown suffering from his own clownery.
12. Taking Pleasure in another Person's Sorrow
Those who derive pleasure from another person's sorrow eventually suffer from their own sorrow.
Case study: Woodland Mall[1] was a large shopping center comprised of eighty different stores. Three of those stores sold electrical appliances – "Ernie's Electric," "Bargain Bay," and "Reliable Rudy." One night, an electric fire broke out in the mall, and by the time it was extinguished, Bargain Bay was a charred total loss. Ernie Allen, the owner of Ernie's Electric, rushed over to meet Richard Burns, the owner of Bargain Bay. "Rich, you've always been a gentleman and a fair competitor. That's worth a lot in my book. Anything I can do to help get you back on your feet – just name it." Burns was overwhelmed by Allen's gesture.
Unlike Ernie Allen, Rudy Garfield's reaction to the Bargain Bay misfortune was one of glee. "Reliable Rudy" was counting his additional electric eggs before they hatched. One less competitor meant more sales – or so he thought. He made no effort to hide his satisfaction. He told one customer that Burns was running a losing business anyway, so he probably "Burned" himself out to collect the insurance: "Ha ha, you get it – Burns burns his Bargain Bay basement," laughing at his own sick pun-like joke.
Reliable Rudy didn't laugh for long. A week later, on a busy Friday morning before the holiday season, the store was packed with customers. Two well-groomed men in dark business suits approached Rudy. They flashed their wallets, each one displaying a federal inspector's badge. "Please show us the invoices of your most recent color-television shipments," in a polite but no-nonsense tone.
Rudy stammered, "Can't this wait until closing time?" The senior of the two officers shook his head in the negative. He produced a legal-size envelope from his breast pocket.
The officer said in a low but no-nonsense tone, "This is a federal court order authorizing the search of Reliable Rudy's. If you are able to produce immediate proof that the color televisions you have in stock were all purchased from a bona fide wholesaler – that means an invoice with each and every serial number – then we'll beg your pardon and wish you a nice day. If not, we have no choice but to close you down. Sales are over for today."
Rudy's face flushed, and then paled an ashen gray. He pulled out a few old invoices from a desk drawer, but none of the serial numbers matched the current stock. The junior officer began clearing the store, while the senior officer remained with Rudy.
The customers were enjoying the action. One lady asked, "Hey officer, what's he suspected of, theft or smuggling?"
A middle-aged man wearing a Yankees cap snarled, "Now we know the secret of Reliable Rudy's prices – he's a crook!"
A freckle-faced fifth grader asked his father, "Daddy, is Mr. Rudy going to jail?"
No less than a dozen comments reached Rudy's ears by the time the last customer left the store. Rudy had never been so embarrassed in his life.
The word spread around town that Rudy was suspect of selling smuggled goods. His wife was too embarrassed to go to the grocery store. His two children refused to go to school. His lawyer plea-bargained to keep him out of jail, and Rudy agreed to a fifty thousand dollar fine and a three-year suspended sentence for any similar offense.
The moral of the Rudy story: Only a cruel and angry person enjoys seeing the misfortune of a fellow human. Cruelty and anger result from spiritual impurity. Spiritual impurity attracts verbal abuse. Rudy's joy in seeing his competitor's disaster exposed his own deep-seated spiritual impurity, manifest also by his illegal dealings. The evil forces created by his bad thoughts, speech, and deeds assumed tangibility in the form of court orders, federal inspectors, and chiding customers which come to haunt him.
Summary
The ATFAT principle is significant to every moment of our lives, since it reminds us that each of our actions creates an equivalent spiritual reaction. A good spiritual reaction resulting from a good deed brings joy to our lives. The opposite causes suffering.
Whenever we suffer, we should apply the Three-Stage Plan immediately. The Almighty grants tremendous spiritual assistance to those who (1)observe, (2)self-evaluate, and (3)implement. In most cases, our lives take an immediate turn for the better, anger becomes a figment of the past, and we make major progress up the trail to tranquility. Having come to peace with God, we're now ready to make peace with our fellow man, so let's move on to Chapter Seven.
To be continued…
(The Trail to Tranquility is available in the Breslev Store.)
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[1] Names, places, and circumstances changed. The author heard the story from a reliable colleague.
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