Finding Ourselves

When we find ourselves, we find G-d. We evaluate how close we truly are to authenticity and love, which emanate from the neshama, the soul. The searching begins whenever we become aware that this is the purpose of our lives – to find and know ourselves and, through our being-ness, to know G-d. The search does not come to an end at this point of realization. Instead, it is a launching site – a point of emergence—in which we self-actualize, grow in awareness, and refine our middot (character traits). Because in spiritual terms there is no time, growth is continuous.

G-d created time to help us human beings structure and order our lives. Order and the way we spend our time is very important to Hashem.  Wasting time, like wasting any other commodity, is frowned upon. Certainly, we are allowed to re-charge for the purpose of garnering the strength to learn more and to serve Hashem with a full heart and with joy. Then our pastimes have some value, whereas “hanging out” for the purpose of wasting precious moments does not. When we find ourselves, we find how to best serve G-d with our talents. We then set out to define our relationship with Hashem by virtue of the ways in which we serve Him best, according to the gifts He has given us. When we understand fully that the talents we have are Divine gifts, we are able to release jealousy and frustration that arise when we desire what others possess. We come to realize that the gifts given to others are for them to fulfill their unique mission. Our gifts are for us to use to fulfill ours. Jealousy and unhealthy desires become superfluous and foolish. G-d knows us best, so we must trust Him and use what we are given to serve Him in spreading Torah values.

Finding ourselves is finding hope and joy in the multitude of different ways we can utilize our talents in His service. These avenues are best discovered by talking to Hashem in personal prayer called hitbodedut.  Rabbi Nachman of Breslev suggests that we seclude ourselves for one hour each day and discuss all our inquiries with Hashem. If sixty minutes feels overwhelming at first, we start out with ten to fifteen minutes and speak to G-d throughout the day gradually increasing the time so that  we are engaged in continuous conversation for twenty, thirty, forty-five, and then sixty minutes each day that we are able. Since Hashem is our Teacher, Guide, King, and Father, it would behoove us to consider Him first whenever a question comes to mind. There is no need to rush to see a counselor, a therapist, a doctor, a lawyer, or anyone for that matter when we have a toll-free number directly to G-d at any time of the day or night.

Of course, if we allow a problem or question to go unaddressed for too long and an emergency arises, then a doctor or therapist might be the only solution. That is why we speak to Hashem in personal prayer as often as we can to avoid flare-ups and wake-up calls. For sure, He will answer us:  G-d answers all inquiries. The answer to a question can come in a variety of different ways, but we must believe that it will come. Then we become attuned to and mindful of its arrival. Answers come by way of thoughts Hashem implants in our minds, passages in books we have a desire to pick up, human messengers, strangers we just “happen” to meet, our children, our spouse, a billboard, a personalized license plate we see, or a line in a television show or on the news. When we become adept at identifying the way G-d communicates with us in our lives, we become masters of spiritual awareness, and life takes on a new meaning. Voila. We have found ourselves because we have found Hashem, Who loves us more than we could ever imagine.

Hashem is full of love. It is up to us to open ourselves to that love, receive it fully, and reciprocate the love we feel in ways that He desires. His ways are beyond logic—beyond the rational. We must be accepting of this truth. Therefore, the reciprocation of His love must come in ways that make Him happy. If G-d wants us to say a blessing after eating bread, and we choose to say “thank you” and leave the table, then we are doing what feels comfortable for us rather than doing G-d’s will. If, however, we tell G-d that for a while we will simply say “Thank You” to Him and then grow to say the full Birkat Hamazon, then that is a different story: now we have communicated with G-d, and He knows our intent.

Saying a simple “thank you” is a beautiful thing and doing so is the mark of a refined and appreciative person of any faith and persuasion. It does not, however, define us as Jewish, but it is a start, and a good one. However, where we fall short is when we graduate from saying “Thank You” to “Rub-a-dub dub. Thanks for the grub” and going no further than that ever. This is the heart of our problem. Life is growth. Finding ourselves is finding a way to grow incrementally and not stagnate in our service of G-d. Our goal is to feel the intense love He has for His children, grow in observance of His mandates, reciprocate His love in ways that He desires, and know that every step forward we take is a step closer to the re-building of the Beit HaMikdash, our Third Holy Temple in Jerusalem, as each of us add just one more brick to the construction. We’re in this together. Israel is the heart of the world. Having G-d in our midst is the answer to healing all our challenges.

We know that progress is the way to true freedom and that every step forward prevents us from sliding backward.  Our sages tell us that the heavy lifting was already accomplished by previous generations. Now it’s the little things we do with love. May we all unite in this mission to do a little extra to come closer to Hashem, and, through our efforts, may we merit to build the Temple in this generation  May we join in unity and agree to grow in commitment to serving G-d on His terms.. This is true emuna. This is what G-d is waiting for. In this way we choose life, and we discover who we truly are. We choose Jewish unity and continuity. May this sense of dedication touch the hearts of the majority speedily in our days. Amen.