Micro Moments

With my psychotherapist-eyes, as I look about, I see masses of people walking around who are depressed and unfulfilled. Even the best so-called "functional" people today have a low-grade depression. There are literally millions of us walking around with our souls covered by a filter of sadness and fear and worrying about things, that is blocking our perception of G-d in our lives.
 
When someone is at the level of a very holy person, he doesn't see anything lacking in the world, or missing in his life. He is genuinely happy all of the time, and he doesn't feel like he is  a slave to this world. The truly righteous people have a perception that they are an integral part of G-d, and that in some way, that 'Divine' part of them called their soul is going to live forever.
 
They know that this world is temporary, and that sooner or later, all the material things are going to fall apart, because they aren't the "truth,"only G-d is. Holy people like this aren't pulled in, or attracted by, all that shiny falsehood and all those attractive lies. When they see those shiny, attractive things, it's like a toy to them; it doesn't "draw" them, because they've found something that's much more important.
 
We know that the soul is located in the mind. The mind is what creates the feelings and perceptions we have. When a person is careful about what he thinks, and he forces himself to think good things, then when he's hit with a difficult circumstance or scenario or thought, he has a tool he can use in that moment to carry him through in one piece. We all know vaguely that our brain cells communicate with each other via a system of synapses. The synapse is a small space between the cells, which the information has to "jump" in order to pass to the next stage of the communication process.
 
That small space gives us a moment, or more accurately, a micro-moment, to choose how we are going to react to a temporary blip or short circuit in our lives. When we get given a test, large or small, we literally have a micro-second to decide whether we are going to go with our emuna programming, to be with G-d, and merge with Him, and merge with His values, or whether we are going to lose it. Most of us still need to do a lot of spiritual prep work to be able to make the right decision when we're faced with that crucial moment, because we simply aren't there yet. For most of us, even religious people, we can't just flip the switch and automatically turn our Evil Inclination on its head, especially if it's in a tempting area, like food, liquor, or even an "empowering" emotion like anger.
 
Some people are just bursting to have a good fight, and they'll look for opportunities to fulfill that desire everywhere, even in the yeshiva. These people aren't fighting over the Talmud in order to clarify a point in Torah to bring G-d more glory; they are fighting because they have a need to be right, and to win. How can we past tests like this sort of anger test, particularly if we've failed it repeatedly in the past?
 
The answer is to be prepared, and to do the necessary ground work. We need to have a prepared ritual, something positive and meaningful and personally tailored to ward off the forces of evil, when we're faced with the next test. And the next test is just around the corner, because each time we past one of these tests we are gaining in holiness, and we are going higher and higher spiritually, to a place where the tests are more difficult. Once we have defeated the evil angel on our present level, and we graduate to a higher spiritual level, we'll then be greeted by a new and improved, much stronger, angel on our new level.
 
When a person is dedicated to following G-d 24/7, he recognizes that G-d is sending him thoughts every single moment of the day, and that embedded in these thoughts are hints about what to do next. So if we get a testing circumstance or thought, we need to start asking ourselves: "why did that just happen to me?" Each time we make an effort to think about using all of our abilities and experiences to serve G-d, even including our negative thoughts, then we are going up the chain of progress, where each thought is a link. Every time we take the hint and work with it and turn it around, we go higher.
 
If we really want to be living at this level, it's not enough just to read and learn about G-d and to "know" him in our minds. We also have to have Divine awe, and we need to find a way of siphoning that Divine awe into our hearts, so that G-d is also in our body, and not just in our head. When we're truly trying to follow G-d, we should feel that it's such a pleasure, a joy, a wonder to serve G-d. We should feel the mystery and potential inherent in every single day; the amazing progress we can make every single moment, when we're faced with the test of turning each and every one of our negative brain impulses into a positive thought, instead.
 
Let's work through a practical example, to see how this process can really help to illuminate our lives. A little while ago, I was in my car, on the way to pick my wife up from her job. As I was driving, I suddenly saw a beautiful sunbeam come down ahead of me, which lit the whole road up. That scene sparked something off, and G-d sent me a memory from my childhood, where I was just happy to be alive and breathing. I was probably out of school and it was a nice sunny day, and I was on the way to the park to play basketball, or something similar. It was a wonderful feeling. But then it started to turn sour, because initially I thought to myself: "I wish I could do something today to be free, and to not have to be doing all this work…" but then, I caught myself, and turned it around. I said: 'thank you for the negative thought, G-d. Now, I can bring some sunshine into my work, today. I can use those memories from the past in a positive way and infuse them into my present, and that's the main focus I should have."
 
G-d puts the emphasis on the present tense above all others; we are living in the here and now, and we really only have this moment. If G-d is going to the trouble of sending me a message or memory from the past, it's not because He wants me to go back to that time of my life, or to be that person again. That memory or message is meant to be used by us today, exactly how we currently are, in the lives we are currently living.