The Smile of Rejection
Who can withstand the acute pinch to your heart when you're told that you're a loser, your idea is terrible, or that you'll never succeed?
The smile of rejection – what kind of weird title is that? What kind of weird idea is that? The vast majority of people who suffer setbacks and rejection fall into deep depression. Once depressed, a person is neutralized, totally incapacitated.
Who in the world can smile when rejected? Who can withstand the acute pinch to your heart when you’re told that you’re a loser, your idea is terrible, or that you’ll never succeed at what you’re trying to accomplish? The true winners are the ones who smile at rejection, for it fuels their emotional and spiritual afterburners to make a second, third, fourth or even fifth effort that ultimately surpasses the feats of those who were born with silver spoons of innate talent and ability.
The ones who smile when rejected exemplify what our sages teach, namely that those who first suffer a path strewn with briars ultimately reach a smoothly-paved lane.
Let’s take a look at a few brief examples:
1. Michael Jordan: Michael Jordan was kicked off the basketball team in his sophomore year because his coach said that he wasn’t good enough. He went home and cried, then went out and furiously began to work on himself, his fitness and his basketball acumen. When the smoke of his efforts cleared, he became one of the greatest players who ever lived. Michael 
Jordan once said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” For Michael Jordan, setbacks and rejection are what fueled his greatness, with career stats including 6,672 rebounds, 5,633 assists, and 32,292 total points, according to NBA.com.
Image left of basketball icon Michael Jordan courtesy of Lev Radin – Shutterstock.com
2. JK Rowling: Author of the phenomenally popular Harry Potter series, JK is the first female novelist in history to become a billionaire. She loves to share her entire box of publisher’s reject letters, one of which says about her original Harry Potter manuscript, “I regret that we have reluctantly come to the conclusion that we could not publish it with commercial success.” JK teaches us why rejected people can smile – if they don’t give up, they have the last laugh. So in retrospect, who are the real losers, JK Rowling or the many publishers who rejected her? Asked how she kept motivated after so many rejections, she once remarked: “I had nothing to lose and sometimes that makes you brave enough to try.”
3. Thomas Edison: As a young boy, Thomas Edison’s teachers told him he was “too stupid to learn anything.” He did not have much more success making a living, for he was fired from his first two jobs for not being productive. Even as an inventor, reports claim that Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. Happily for all the Torah scholars who learn Torah deep into the night, Edison’s 1,001st attempt was a success, as was the telegraph, the movie camera, the microphone and the phonograph. Edison is probably the leading authority amongst non-Jews on self-strengthening and perseverance, what Rebbe Natan called hitchazkut.
Edison’s famous quotes in this area include:
* “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
* “Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.”
* “When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this – you haven’t.”
* “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
* “Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits.”
Rebbe Natan of Breslev talks about emotional and spiritual self-strengthening throughout his magnum opus, Likutei Halachot. When you read Rebbe Natan, you can understand what makes a Michael Jordan, a JK Rowling and a Thomas Edison. And, talking about smiles of rejection, a good chunk of Likutei Halachot was written when Rebbe Natan was in prison, the result of false accusations from Chassidic elements who opposed Rebbe Nachman’s teachings.
“Self-strengthening” in contemporary terms is the ability to get back up when you’ve been knocked down; the ability to smile despite being painfully rejected and the ability to continue moving forward when you’ve run out of emotional and physical gas. Self-strengthening, teaches Rebbe Natan, means holding on to your desires no matter how many times you’ve been rejected and clinging to emuna even when the whole world calls you a fool and a loser.
As long as you continue in the path of your goals, you’re never a fool or a loser. Ultimately, you’ll be the greatest winner. Just ask those of our greatest ancestors who all wore smiles of rejection: Joseph, Moses, King David, Ruth, Yiftah and Rebbe Akiva to name but a few. Just believe in yourself, keep trying and ultimately, you’ll have the last laugh with a smile that won’t leave your lips until Mashiach comes, speedily and in our days, amen!
