What’s Yours will be Yours

Don’t be tempted to sign on the dotted line when pressured into the “dream deal of a lifetime that other people are waiting to pounce on”. Let them pounce…

3 min

Rabbi Shalom Arush

Posted on 03.05.23

The Garden of Riches, Part 21

 
Haste and carelessness
Sefer Hamidot teaches (see “Money”): Whoever does his dealings in haste, without composing oneself, falls into debt. Making decisions in haste without carefully evaluating the issue at hand is a fundamental blemish in emuna. One must have faith in Hashem’s Divine individual providence, namely, that nobody can will be able to take away whatever is destined for you. Ben Azai says (tractate Yoma, 38), “Whatever is yours you will get. A person cannot touch a hair’s breadth of what is prepared for his friend.”
Rashi explains that one should not fear losing his livelihood or position, because Hashem allows no one to touch whatever’s destined for someone else, even as little as a hairsbreadth.
The following example helps us to internalize this concept: A person desires to buy or to rent a certain apartment; the owner of the apartment tells him: “Sign the contract right now, because many people want this apartment, and I’m not going to wait for you!” Under pressure, he signs the contract without careful deliberation and without consultation, suddenly finding himself in a situation that he cannot manage, and he sinks into debt or similar problems.
One must therefore believe that if this apartment is destined for him – it will be for him! He should give himself ample time to consider the matter at hand, for no person will be able to take the apartment. When the right time comes, the apartment will come into his possession. And if the apartment does not come into his possession, it’s a sign that it was not destined for him. The main thing is that he does not go into debt, and he only takes what is truly destined for him.
Here’s another example: A person is offered to buy a very profitable business, and he thinks that it is worthwhile to borrow very large amounts, with the intention that he’ll repay the money with his prospective profits from this business. Since the seller explains to him that the business is very profitable, the buyer seals the deal without having properly evaluated the business. Yet, even if the deal is worthwhile, he’ll lose everything because of the massive debts that he incurred.
A person with emuna makes no business deal in haste and carelessness, for he knows that whatever is destined for him is his. He therefore patiently waits for the opportune time to make a deal and doesn’t worry that he’s missing out in the interim. The opposite is true; oftentimes while he waits and considers, prices drop or he receives access to increased financial resources. He then attains what is in his means, without debts and loans, that which is truly destined for him.
The core of the issue is one’s contentment with his own lot in life. He is neither impatient nor is he susceptible to pressure in making a deal. Since he is happy with his lot, even if a certain deal doesn’t materialize, he is still happy and self-composed.
Every possession that a person has, from the smallest button to the biggest asset is the product of Hashem’s magnificent Divine individual providence that determines whom the object should belong to, and until when. Rebbe Nachman of Breslev teaches that everything in the world has sparks of holiness, each person receives a given object when the object’s sparks of holiness have their root in that person’s soul (see Likutei Moharan I:54). This concept enables us to understand many things in life, for example, why one person constantly wears a certain item of clothing more that other items or why another person likes to sit on a certain chair, and so forth.
Don’t be a guarantor
Our sages warned us that a person should stay far way from being a guarantor for a loan, even though it’s a big mitzvah to lend money to a poor person. By guaranteeing the loan, the guarantor is indeed doing a tremendous mitzvah for the poor person. Yet, one should stay far away from being a guarantor since it might cause him a major loss. Since the poor person fell on such hard times and is reduced to debt, he becomes a slave to the lender and will have a very hard time to repay the money.
Many good hearted people that wanted to help a friend and cosigned as a guarantor on the friend’s loan subsequently fell together with him. A guarantor must personally check out all the facts: The size of the loan, the payment schedule, whether the borrower has any other outstanding loans, if he’s trustworthy, and his capability to repay. The guarantor must realize that the borrower might not repay the loan. Therefore, one who guarantees a loan must do so with the thought that he might have to repay it himself. As such, if he can afford to do so, he may sign; if not, he should not sign.
To be continued.

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