ABC or ZYX?

Translated by Rabbi Lazer Brody

Rebbe Nachman teaches us a few eye-opening principles in the second part of Likutei Moharan, Torah 82. He explains that sometimes life goes according to our plans and expectations, and other times things don’t go at all the way we want them to. He says that the reason things don’t go according to our plan is because we consider ourselves some great monarch. Spiritually, our over-inflated ego gets in our way and ruins things.
 
We have to realize that there’s a supreme Monarch in the world – Hashem. Rebbe Nachman explains that when we live our lives according to Hashem’s wishes, everything flows smoothly like it should. Yet, as soon as we have some delusion of grandeur and we think that we run the show, everything fouls up. That delusion of grandeur, when in effect we say that we’re the boss, is like putting sugar in our gas tank – everything gets fouled up.
 
When we talk about the basics of things, we say the “ABC’s” of mathematics or the “ABC’s” of photography. “ABC” is the alphabet in its proper order. Rebbe Nachman describes a smooth-running life as “ABCs”. But he says that when a person’s ego gets in the way, it fouls life up completely, and the ABCs of routine good order become ZYX of chaos, in other words, everything gets turned upside down and life becomes a mess.
 
With the above lesson in mind, all we have to do to maintain order in our lives, or to return order to a life of bedlam, is to rid ourselves of egotism. Hashem plans our lives with plenty of opportunities to do so.
 
Take marriage for example – if a partner in marriage remains egotistic, then the marriage is a disaster. One or both partners will be miserable. The only way to be successful in marriage with a smooth and gratifying relationship is to put our egos completely aside.
 
A second parameter is an absolute necessity for a smooth life and that’s emuna. Really, you can describe what emuna is in three Hebrew words, Ein od Milvado – there’s no one but Hashem. Hashem is the world monarch, everything comes from Him, everything He does is for the very best, and everything He does is for a purpose. Emuna is not just lip-service faith, but a pure and complete faith in Hashem that’s so deeply engrained on our souls that it’s capable of uprooting the slightest feelings of sadness or negativity.
 
So really, this world is a proving ground to show us the extent where we need to rid ourselves of egotism and strengthen our emuna.
 
Egotism and emuna are mutually exclusive since emuna crowns Hashem as the World Monarch and egotism says nobody’s going to tell me what to do – I’m the boss. The more egotism has its say, the more a person can expect to live a ZYX topsy-turvy life.
 
As you’re reading this, your Evil Inclination is buzzing in your ear like a fly. He says, “Don’t listen to this nonsense about ego and emuna; I know plenty of egotistical people and they’re super-successful.” Hold on – the evil inclination doesn’t show you what’s going on behind closed doors; maybe the egotist is making a lot of money, but he spends it all on the alimony he has to pay to his three former wives. Or maybe his children have acute emotional problems. Or maybe he and his wife can’t get through the day without a dozen different medications. You can be sure, where there’s ego and a lack of emuna, life is definitely not running smoothly the way you’d like it to.
 
With emuna, a person flows with Hashem. He knows that everything in his life comes from Hashem and that Hashem is doing everything for the best. Therefore, he thanks Hashem for everything and is happy about everything. In that respect, his life is always smooth even when things seem to be chaotic or not according to plan.
 
Suppose you woke up tired this morning; don’t persecute yourself – simply thank Hashem for the fatigue. No, you’re not lazy, and don’t let the Yetzer convince you otherwise! With emuna, we throw all those negative thoughts into the garbage. There’s no bad and everything is good, because everything comes from Hashem and Hashem is King. What a pleasure. So even if we are tired, we accept Hashem’s monarchy, take a rest for an hour and wake up feeling great with all the more reason to thank Hashem. That’s the upward spiral of emuna and gratitude.
 
When a person recognizes that everything is from Hashem and for the very best, all of a sudden life becomes smooth like ABCs. Going against Hashem’s monarchy is like swimming against the current of Arkansas River Rapids – not only will you go nowhere, but you’ll get bashed on the rocks like a little ball in a pinball machine.
 
One of the young men in our Yeshiva came up to me and asked, “Why do I feel disappointment in life? I do an hour of personal prayer a day. I attend all of the Rav’s lectures. I’ve read all the Rav’s books. What’s the matter with me?”
 
“Nothing’s the matter,” I answered. “Strengthening emuna is a life-long project.” We’re constantly moving higher. We see that things that used to bother us no longer do, but as we move up the spiritual ladder, our tests become more difficult. We don’t lose heart, we just continue strengthening emuna, and the reward is that we’re constantly getting closer to Hashem. Just as a child cannot feel his own physical growth, we – the children of Hashem – can’t always feel our spiritual growth. That doesn’t mean that we’re not growing.
 
Whenever we have a setback, we tell ourselves that this is exactly the way Hashem wants things, we thank Him for the setback, strengthen our emuna and move forward. With such a mindset, life is smooth even with the setback. But once again, emuna is a life-long endeavor.
 
We have to ask Hashem for emuna every single day. “Hashem, help me realize that You run the world; no one can do me any benefit or harm unless You say so. Hashem, strengthen my belief that everything you do is for my ultimate welfare, whether or not I understand how. Hashem, help me thank You all day long, for the seemingly bad as well as for the obvious good. Hashem, help me accept Your will completely and wholeheartedly, and help me rid myself of ego or anything else that clouds my spiritual clarity. Help me realize that there’s no bad in the world at all.” When you devote a good portion of your daily personal prayer to asking for emuna, your emuna grows in leaps and bounds, slowly and surely. Remember, it requires perseverance – there’s no such thing as instant emuna. It’s work, and it’s a lifelong endeavor. May Hashem help you succeed.