Awakenings

I was standing in the entry line to the “happiest place on earth” anticipating my happy day with all the happy people. I had life altering thoughts occupying my mind, like what ride should I go on first –  should I fly around in circles on Dumbo or go to the next level with Peter Pan or the Pirates of the Caribbean? Clearly, I was too cool of a chick to waste time spinning around on the Tea Cups – leave that to the little old ladies who like tea parties with crumpets.

As I was mulling over my brilliant strategy, something caught my eye. Standing in another line across the way was a man and two little boys. There were strings hanging from their sides that looked like tassels. The father had a black hat and a beard. The boys had side curls and what I knew as yarmulkes. I had seen kippot before as a kid and was very drawn to the people wearing them, but I had no memory of ever seeing tzitzit, payot (side-locks) or a religious Jew. I was mesmerized. Who cared about the “happiest place on earth” when there was such a beautiful sight in front of me?

It wasn’t my modus operandi (mode of operation) in those days to show any emotion or appear “touched” by anything. If I watched a sad movie, I would do everything possible, including biting the inside of my cheek, to prevent any tears. The world wasn’t going to get to me, and if it did, I wasn’t going to show it.

But they were getting to me. They were stirring up all kinds of uncomfortable emotions and causing a deep longing inside. I felt like I really belonged with them, and if I could only stay with them, I wouldn’t be lost anymore. I pinched my arm extra hard to toughen back up and keep the tears on the inside from escaping to the outside. I was irritated when the line began to move more quickly until we finally parted ways.

Years later, I have no memory of that day except for this time standing outside of the “happiest place on earth.” I’m sure I rode on the roller coasters. I’m sure I was soaking wet after descending Splash Mountain. I’m sure I went to the night’s fireworks show and the Electric Light Parade with the immodestly clad Tinker Bell flying down from the Matterhorn in her green sparkling bikini and spreading her pixie dust. I probably ate ice cream and shoved salt water taffy into the sides of my cheeks like a chipmunk. But all that mattered and all I could think about was the three beautiful Jews.

I was to have other incidents like this in my life – each one serving as a powerful wakeup call, awakening my slumbering soul a little bit more. The tzittzit, the kippot, the payot, the beards, the head coverings and the religious Jews themselves served as a kind of ram’s horn. They were and are a constant living shofar that cries out, in the words of a Shlomo Carlebach’s song, “Return again. Return Again. Return to the land of your soul. Return to who you are. Return to what you are. Return again…”

I have come to believe that tzittzit, kippot, payot, headcoverings etc. are a much more powerful mitzvah than we can imagine. Why are anti-Semites so threatened by these things and why is the yetzer hara so diligent about stopping baal teshuvahs from taking these mitzvahs upon themselves? Why is the goal to make the Jews blend in and have no distinguishing characteristics?

Maybe it is because they serve not only as a powerful wake-up call to the sleeping Jewish souls but also as a wake-up call to the nations who have no desire to submit to Hashem’s kingship. They are threatened by the Jews returning to Hashem and coming together in a unified way. It signals an end to their power and to their reign. It reminds them that one day they will have to submit to Hashem.

I have heard Rabbi Lazer Brody talk about the tremendous mitzvah of wearing a kippah, tzittzit, head covering, etc. Every second wearing them is priceless and worth more than one can possibly imagine. How much more so when they are beckoning Hashem’s children to come back home to Him!

Thank you to all you beautiful Jews who have helped awaken my soul and the souls of so many others. May you be blessed to go from strength to strength!