Questions, Questions

It's no secret that until I hit Breslev and Rebbe Nachman, I used to struggle with monster bouts of depression. I can remember feeling 'depressed' as young as five, and by the time I was 12, my depressions could last for months and months.
 
I literally spent months at a time sobbing my eyes out in the toilets at school during my lunchbreak, or at home in my room.
 
The depressions eased up somewhat when I got married, but once I had my first child, I found myself living in a kind of permanently depressed sub-state.
 
I had good days, of course, and even good weeks and good months, but I knew that my depression was always there, just under the surface, and even the smallest bit of inconvenience, upset or 'bad news' could send me spiralling down faster than the Dow Jones on Black Monday.
 
At that time, I had a friend who was also struggling with very bad depressions. We used to swap 'helpful' tips about trying to beat it: try a UV light!! Swallow some St John's Wort!! Do some neurolinguistic programming!!
 
We'd go back and forwards, sharing our latest 'big finds' to get away from depression, which would work for a bit (if at all) and then not. I was much luckier than my friend: he ended up in a mental institution after one particularly bad episode where he just wanted to kill himself. He got out a long time ago, but he's still not happy.
 
One of the last times we spoke, I'd just discovered emuna and personal prayer. I told him that this time, I'd found something that was really going to help me, 100% guaranteed.
 
He didn't buy it. I don't blame him – it was right at the beginning of my whole Breslev process, and who knew really if it was going to be any more effective than any of the other things I'd done to try and beat my depressions?
 
But eight years' on, it's a different story.
 
Recently, I got an email from someone who is struggling a lot emotionally and spiritually, who couldn't believe that I'd been in exactly the same mental space (if not much worse) just a few short years' ago.
 
After I got that email, I decided to remind everyone that:
 
a)I came to Breslev eight years ago, a depressed basket case that was full of fears, hates, paranoia, jealousy, anger and despair (yes, this is just the partial list.)
 
b) Personal prayer got me out of depression. Every time I'd fall down that black hole, I would beg G-d to get me out. The first time, it took a few days to feel better again, but each time since, the bounce-back from depression to functioning normalcy has got shorter and shorter. It's now around half an hour – and I so rarely get depressed these days, that I almost forgot it used to happen to me.
 
One of the things that reminded me was that email; another thing that reminded me was a conversation with someone who keeps getting pushed to go on to 'pills' to 'take care' of her depression.
 
Dear reader, nobody gets depressed for nothing. Usually, it happens because there is some fundamental work that needs to be done for the person to really become them, and to live the life G-d wants them to lead. Maybe, they have a lot of toxic shame they need to clear out the system which is stopping them from liking themselves; maybe, they are going down the completely wrong path in life, and actually G-d doesn't want them to be an accountant; maybe, they need to make some massive teshuva, settle down, and stop chasing after cheap thrills, money and status symbols…
 
If the fundamentals of a person's life aren't in alignment with G-d, that person is going to be miserable, regardless of the drugs they take.
 
I asked my friend one question about the happy meds that are meant to 'solve' all her problem by dealing with the 'chemical imbalance' in her brain: What test did the doctor give you, to ascertain that you actually have this chemical imbalance?
 
I mean, SURELY they wouldn't just hand out serious mind-altering drugs to people to disturb the very delicate chemistry of the brain without first TESTING to see that people ACTUALLY have an imbalance to begin with?
 
I'm still waiting for the answer.
 
In the meantime, remember that G-d can do anything, and I'm living proof of that. Personal prayer turned my life around in a fundamental way, and made my depressions a thing of the past – and it can do it for you, too.
 
Start small, five minutes a day, and don't give up. I promise you, you'll start to feel instantly happier, and the only side-effects you'll experience are things like more peace of mind; a better marriage; more clarity; a better night's sleep and more joie de vivre.
 
And that's a heck of a lot more than Prozac can offer you.