Uprooting Today’s Idols

Several days ago, I pulled a muscle in my neck during a workout. Over the night while asleep, my whole upper back/shoulders and neck stiffened up on me and I was in severe pain the next day. That whole day, all my old vices came out in full force. I was eating way too much food, even the healthy stuff, and plenty of junk food too. I binge-watched TV when I was able to slip away from the family. And my personal holiness slipped into the toilet. I didn’t guard my eyes and allowed myself to ogle women on the street much to my regret.

After Maariv, with Hashem’s help, I finally roused myself to go for a walk and talk to Hashem. I was so frustrated with myself and my actions for that day. Believe me; being a trainer, I hate waking up and feeling fresh rolls around my mid-section from a poor dietary intake. I know that watching TV kills my desire for Hashem and mitzvoth and makes me lazy. I know looking at women is killing my soul and ruining my shalom bayis. “So why, Hashem? Why can’t I stop these destructive behaviors?” I was asking. I had a sharper question. I know Hashem is Who I should be turning to in times of trouble. Why do I keep choosing these unhelpful answers to my problems instead of He Who can solve all problems? Hashem, in His mercy, threw the answer into my head like a bolt of lightning. I had a self-awareness epiphany.

It’s the immediate fix. When I’m in pain, all I care about is getting rid of that pain right then and there. I don’t want to wait. I want it gone. NOW. If I try calling out to Hashem, I don’t want hard work and delayed gratification. I want miracles. I want Him to send me Refa-el (the angel of healing) and take away all the pain right then and there. But I know He’s not going to do that. I’m not going to get the instant miracles. So I don’t bother turning to Him. Instead, I turn to all my false idols: food, TV, lust. Aren’t they just that, false idols? They don’t fix my pain or my problems. But they give me enough temporary pleasure to numb or distract me from my pain or problems. Never mind the long term negative consequences; I’ll take the quick fix.

Right after Hashem blessed me with this realization, He then sent me another: I’m just like the Jews in the desert crying about going into Israel. Allow me to explain. Rabbi Lazer Brody constantly calls Israel, "The Land of Emuna" (based on the Talmud, tractate Ketubot). Hashem tells the Jews that when they enter the land, they’re going to have to work hard to conquer it. They’ll have to uproot all the idolatry before they can settle into Israel. They cry about not being able to do it. They cry about returning to Egypt. Our commentators tell us that they lived in the desert with miracles. The clouds of glory killed all the dangerous wildlife. They had manna from heaven and miraculous wells of water. Their clothes never needed laundering and grew with them. The list of miracles goes on. The Jews left Egypt via many miracles. Miracles are all that they knew how to live with.

This is how I am constantly relating to Hashem as well. Mitzrayim (Egypt) for me was lack of all Emuna and knowledge that Hashem runs the world. My life and marriage eventually got so painful that I cried out to Hashem. Hashem took me out of Mitzrayim by having someone send me The Garden of Peace and starting my foray into learning and living with Emuna. I saw miracles in my marriage and life. Now I’m in the desert living with my Emuna Moments, my own miraculous stories seeing Hashem’s hand. I desire to enter and settle the Land of Israel, the land of Emuna. Hashem has given me glances of living with complete Emuna. It’s like Rabbi Arush says, “It’s like being in the Garden of Eden!” Now I’ve been informed about what it’s going to take to settle my land of Emuna. I’m going to have to start working hard to uproot all my old idolatry and living with Hashem. I can’t yearn for quick fixes and easy times.

When life gets painful, it’s time to grow spiritually thru hard work. What kind of hard work? The Jews made it through the desert with Moshe as their leader. Moshe, the tzaddik of the generation represents prayer. With prayer, I can ask Hashem to help me learn to turn to Him for help with all my problems. I can pray to Him to learn patience in waiting for His solution to come at the best time according to His will. I can pray for His help to remember that my false idols won’t solve my problems and only increase them. 

The Jews wandered the desert for 40 years before they entered into Israel to begin conquering and settling it. 40 years is an entire generation or most of an average lifetime. We have our whole lives to start choosing whether we want to stay in the desert or start clearing out our land of Israel/Emuna and living with Hashem.

May it be His will to help us make that choice every day starting Today, working with Him in personal prayer to uproot our false idols (bad habits, traits and lusts) and live with Emuna in Him running our world all for the very best, Amen!